The Stranger

(CHRISTMAS SHOPPING) The worst part of Christmas is Christmas shopping—spending money you don't have for gifts that people might not like around crowds who think shoving is polite. I Heart Rummage's confines are a bit cramped, but at least the cute crafts, clothes, and cards you purchase help feed local artists. And indie kids don't push like mall rats. (Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave, 441-5611. Noon–4 pm, free, all ages.) JENNIFER MAERZ

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(THEATER) Wonderful Life bills itself as a holiday play, but it's really a (mostly) loving scrapbook about Capitol Hill—and it's not a family show. Actors bob and weave through vignettes about love affairs, local bars, tweakers, sexy baristas, I Anonymous, and first apartments. The ensemble is strong and the set is a mock-up of WET's 19th Avenue storefront, with an onstage telephone pole. It's a rare treat to see a play so geographically specific it can use Federal Avenue as a punch line. (WET at the Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 800-838-3006. 8 pm, $10–$15.) BRENDAN KILEY

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(VINTAGE FUNK) Funk's popularity has had its dips and dives since James Brown conceived it in the '60s, but the world's finest party/sex music is enjoying a robust revival among purists like the Daptone Records stable and L.A.'s Breakestra. A large collective led by Miles Tackett, Breakestra resurrect the tumescent, highly torqued dance music that the JB's, Meters, Sly Stone, et al. laid down to help mortals get laid. (Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave, 441-5611. 9 pm, $15, 21+.) DAVE SEGAL

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(FILM) The gay cowboy movie has finally arrived. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal make cute ranch hands, and there is indeed hot sex in a pup tent. (Not to mention bracingly gorgeous cinematography.) It single-handedly resuscitates star-crossed love for the modern age, attributing the conflict not to familial rivalries or class disparities but to the whole crushing weight of ideology. Brokeback Mountain is sad and exhilarating. (See Movie Times, p. 91, for details.) ANNIE WAGNER

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(CLUB NIGHT) Consider this the crunk antidote. Every Thursday, DJs Kippy, N8, and FourColorZack spin hiphop joints from the genre's early dazzling growth spurts (1979–84) and its golden era (1985–93). Back then, artists like Grandmaster Flash, Run D.M.C., LL Cool J, Public Enemy, De La, Tribe, X-Clan, etc. took mad liberties with sampling and mined countless gems from them. They don't make 'em like this anymore, but, thankfully, they do play 'em out. Fressshhh. (Club Noc Noc, 1516 Second Ave, 223-1333, 9 pm–2 am, $3, 21+.) DAVE SEGAL

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(MUSIC) Say adios to two of Seattle's favorite metal amigos, Big Business, after this show. Jared Warren and Coady Willis are moving south—down to L.A.—to play with a little group you might know called the Melvins. That's right, they're being absorbed into the Melvins' wonderfully noxious noisephere, so expect nothing but the heaviest of farewell shows here tonight. (Neumo's, 925 E Pike St, 709-9467, 8 pm, $8 adv/$10 DOS, 21+.) JENNIFER MAERZ

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