The Stranger

Start going to the gym. Quit smoking. Only two drinks a night—no exceptions. No pot until the weekends. No coke until the weekends. Start volunteering for a charity. Give money to PBS. Keep the apartment clean. Do laundry once a week. Don't let dishes pile up. Buy a bike. Start taking the bus to work. More NPR, less Bravo. New Yorker yes, Us magazine no. Be a better husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend. Try not to be such an asshole in 2008. by Bradley Steinbacher

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Tamara Jenkins's (Slums of Beverly Hills) latest is about the misery of family. Specifically, the clashes, panic, and rampant self-absorption that occurs when parents need to be taken care of by their children. With sharp writing, predictably fine performances from Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney, and a standout turn from Philip Bosco as the père in need, the movie clicks on nearly every level—just don't see it with your folks. (See movie times for details.) by Bradley Steinbacher

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The best American romantic comedy since Annie Hall also contains the least repellant performance Jim Carrey will ever give, and this week, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind—Michel Gondry's miraculous meditation on the glories and joys of "failed" relationships—lands at the charming Central Cinema. Revisit a postmodern classic while obliterating your own memory with beer. (See movie times for details.) by David Schmader

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The question of whether Five Easy Pieces is sexist or about sexism has been troubling movie nerds for 30 years. The answer is yes. Even the title is a sexist double entendre; those pieces aren't piano music, dude. But it's also unquestionably about sexism, or at least a sexist (Jack Nicholson at his most robust), whose woman-mauling behavior injures everyone, himself included. Throw in the chicken-salad-sandwich scene and you've got an imperishable emotional weather report from the dawn of the American 1970s. (Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave, 267-5380. 7 and 9:15 pm, $5–$8.50.) by Sean Nelson

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In last spring's show of graduating UW art students, Michael Simi showed Beef Stew Monster, a stubby mechanical creature that waddled menacingly after viewers. In a video, Fred Muram stuffed a hamburger into his mouth with three hands. Now Simi and Muram have teamed up as the Fire Retard Ants, whose short blog includes a long account of a delicious burger. The show will probably involve video, digital sculpture, and beef, but nobody's sure. (SOIL, 112 Third Ave S, 264-8061. Noon–5 pm, free.) by Jen Graves

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The Lashes haven't performed since their "comeback show" at last summer's Bumbershoot. Months prior, guitarist Eric Howk had an accident and was paralyzed from the waist down. The band's future was anyone's guess, but the Lashes surprised all when they (including Howk) took the stage last August with more enthusiasm than ever. They've got a new record called Thank You (Side A), a collection of strong power-pop tunes they'll be celebrating tonight. (Vera Project, Seattle Center, 956-8372. 7:30 pm, $10, all ages.) by Megan Seling

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