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Monday, September 15, 2014

SL Letter of the Day: The Right Not To Know

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 5:21 PM

I need your advice. My boyfriend and I are planning to get married. Our families are very happy about the decision and think we're good for each other. (We are!) The problem? My older sister found our OKC profiles—we have a healthy, happy, non-monogamous relationship—and she insists that our parents have a "right" to know what we are up to since they are paying for part of our wedding. Since marriage carries an expectation of monogamy, my sis says, we are getting married under false pretenses and basically lying to our parents. And that she's just trying to prevent our parents from getting hurt when they accidentally find out later. I have tried explaining why non-monogamy works for us, why it's none of our parents' business, and why it is, especially, none of her business—but she says that she won't "be a party" to hurting our mom. So it seems she's threatening to tell our parents. This wouldn't be the end of the world—they're more open-minded than most—but it's still none of their goddamn business. If do tell them, it should be because I've decided I want to, not because my drama queen sister is pressuring me! Please help!

Pissed At Sis

My response after the jump...

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What Are You Doing This Week?

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 4:45 PM

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  • Kelly O
  • IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN JINKX CLOSE UP, this is your chance

Christopher Frizzelle: "Jinkx Monsoon is performing at the showcase at the Frye on Wednesday."

Dan Savage: "I'm going to the hear the Seattle Symphony play Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1 and Dvorak Symphony No. 7 on Thursday night and I'm going to see the homos at DICKSLAP on Friday night."

Katie Allison: "Playing more Destiny. It's ridiculously addictive. And also, OBVIOUSLY, going to see the cinematic treasure Trollhunter at Central Cinema."

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  • University Book Store
  • QUITE THE KICKER

Paul Constant: "I'm going to go see This Is Where I Leave You, the all-star movie based on a best-selling, critically acclaimed comic novel. What could possibly go wrong? (Don't answer that.) I'm also torn between a bunch of neat-sounding readings later this week, including Caitlin Doughty (of Ask a Mortician fame) at University Book Store, or Robert Pinsky at Town Hall on Thursday; and Charles Burns at Fantagraphics Bookstore and Gallery or the Backseats and Bedrooms themed reading at Hugo House featuring authors like Dorothea Lasky and Mona Simpson on Friday. Fall always brings too many readings choices; this is a wonderful problem to have."

Dave Segal: "Tuesday I’m going to Benaroya Hall to gasp in amazement at Brazilian Tropicália legend Caetano Veloso. Thursday Chicago’s Hieroglyphic Being (Jamal Moss) plays Kremwerk for the excellent MOTOR monthly of mutant dance music. Hieroglyphic Being is one of the most innovative and exciting electronic musicians working today. If you missed his life-changing performance at 2013’s Debacle Fest, now’s your chance to make amends."

GOOD OLD VITOS
  • Kelly O
  • VITO'S IS OLD AND GOOD, and there's a gigantic stuffed cougar in the back room, but you already knew that.

Kelly O: "I feel like I should go have at least one last drink at the 2-Bit Saloon, as this week is its final, and it's closing it's doors forever—maybe on Wednesday for something weird called 'Punk Rock Tits at the 2-Bit'. On a higher brow bar note, Vito's celebrates it's 60 years (and going strong) anniversary this Saturday night. Table reservations recommended!"

Krishanu Ray: "If you see me strolling, I might be strolling through the MadArt installation on UW's Campus. Ain't nothin' like a stroll. Oh and the Egyptian is reopening this week, as SIFF Cinema Egyptian—the opening night film is Lynne Shelton's newest, Laggies."

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  • Courtesy of SIFF

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In Culture News: Fly Moon Royalty Announces Tour Dates, Lindy West Hosts Teeny Awards

Posted by and on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 4:01 PM

The Teen Tix Teeny Awards and Fundraising Dinner Is Saturday: You've heard us praising Teen Tix—a nonprofit that partners with nearly every other culture nonprofit in the city to provide $5 tickets to teenagers—for approximately five years, since we realized that while some arts types mope about the graying and dying of its audiences, Teen Tix is actually doing something about it. Instead of telling teenagers what to see, it opens the doors to the city's cultural feast and lets them order for themselves—and, as a corollary, allows them to sit in big rooms with other groups of people, thinking about ideas and images in a setting that is not a school and not a church. This Saturday is the second annual Teeny Awards: A teen-driven awards ceremony and fundraising dinner at the EMP hosted by Lindy West and featuring speakers Carlo Scandiuzzi of ACT and Virginia Anderson, former executive director of Seattle Center. Buy tickets (or just donate) here.

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Fly Moon Royalty Is Going on Tour: Megan Seling is in love with their new track, and the rest of the country will soon be falling in love with Fly Moon Royalty, too. The duo tweeted out their sweet new tour poster today. Pass it on to your friends who don't live in Seattle; they'll thank you for it later.

Scarecrow Needs Your Money: Less than one day before Scarecrow Video's Kickstarter concludes. They've already beaten their goal, but you should still contribute. Once the Kickstarter is through, Seattle will be home to the world's largest non-profit video store, which is at the very least a nifty experiment and at the most an exciting new model for a video library system. If you're on the fence about donating, Zack Carlson's video for The Scarecrow Project is a passionate explanation of why the Kickstarter is so important. It's hyperbolic, sure, but it's not without its charms:

Short Run Needs Your Money: Speaking of fundraisers, the wonderful Short Run small press and comics festival is trying to raise $1500 to ensure that this year's festival remains free to the public. It may not be the end of the world for you or I if Short Run had to charge a few bucks at the door for admission, but this festival is very popular with teenagers, many of whom only have a limited amount of money to spend on books at the show. Let's not force them to spend their zine-buying cash on a door fee, okay? Donate for the kids!

FU, Too: Local comics publisher Fantagraphics Books has announced their new micro-publishing imprint, Fantagraphics Underground Press. FU Press will publish books that may not aspire to as huge an audience as, say the Hernandez Brothers, but that still deserve to be seen. Print runs will be in the hundreds, not the thousands. This is a nice call-back to Fantagraphics' early days, and a forward-thinking move for a publisher; not every goddamned book needs to be a four-quadrant hit, and it's nice to see Fantagraphics being intelligent about reaching a smaller market.

Proof That Performance Art Does Matter: A Columbia student's performance has blossomed into a full-fledged protest.

Hate U2? Good news! Apple has bowed to pressure and is allowing you to delete that fucking U2 album from your iTunes account using "a simple three-step process."

Fire Up Your Popcorn-Delivery Elbow: You can find the full trailer for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 after the jump. It certainly looks like they're widening the scope of the film series in this outing. Many readers thought Mockingjay was a mess; this might be a rare case of a movie being better than the book it's adapted from.

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Our City Hall Reporter Claims to Know "Nothing About Music": Here's Her Take on De La Soul's 3 Feet High and Rising

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 3:12 PM

Anna Minard, our city hall reporter, claims to "know nothing about music." For this column, we're forcing her to listen to all the records that music nerds consider important.

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We start on an old-timey game show. Are you ready? "How many fibers are intertwined in a Shredded Wheat biscuit?" The purpose of the game, other than answering questions, winning, and getting money, are left unclear. We enter the world of this album through a skit, and leave it through a skit, but the theme doesn't swim throughout every song, it doesn't feel like a concept album. We've just turned on some old TV in a room somewhere, and the channel changes itself.

De La Soul play a game very well: The rhymes and beats sound smooth and rich yet easy and casual, like everything's rolling off the tongue. Like this is how they spit grocery lists, what their voice-mail message sounds like, what happens when you get a fake hairbrush microphone near their faces at a party. But the words roll so fast! Faster than they seem—if you are a rap-along-in-your-car kind of person, you are totally screwed a lot of the time, though you may not realize it at first. Save it for the professionals here and just enjoy.

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New Zealand Underground-Rock Catalyst Peter Gutteridge, 1961-2014

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 2:36 PM

Peter Gutteridge, a key figure in New Zealand's shockingly strong rock scene from the '80s and '90s, passed away Monday morning in Auckland, NZ. He was in his early 50s. Gutteridge had recently returned to his home country after his first US tour.

A member of crucial kiwi bands such as the Clean, the Great Unwashed, the Chills, and Snapper, as well as a riveting solo artist, Gutteridge had a special talent for conveying dark sentiments within exhilarating sonic contexts. He wrote what I think is the Clean's best song, the spiraling tower of melancholy "Point That Thing Somewhere Else," which Seattle band Kinski have covered. As leader of Snapper, Gutteridge forged a distinctive fusion of dark, Jesus & Mary Chain-like surf rock and severe, Suicide-like rhythms. Gutteridge's excellent 1989 solo LP Pure was reissued last year by 540 Records.

Flying Nun Records, which released some of Gutteridge's music, posted this statement about him on its website.

All of us, and so many people around the world, have been touched and affected by his music, whether it be the swirling fuzz of the guitar or haunting piano melodies, Peter was a true hero of New Zealand music, and will be deeply missed. Our thoughts and sympathies are with his family and friends at this very sad time. Thank you Peter for all the music, may you rest in peace.

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Tonight in Music: Monster Planet, Zammuto and Lindseys!

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 2:06 PM

MR. PROJECTILE ENTERS MONSTER PLANET’S SURREAL MAELSTROM

Monster Planet’s fusion of group-generated free-form electronic music and Killing Frenzy’s expertly tweaked B-movie projections makes it one of the greatest Monday-night club experiences going in this city. Tonight, special guest from New York Mr. Projectile (aka Matthew Arnold) enters Monster Planet’s surreal maelstrom in order to add even more weirdness to the pot. He’s a master of funky electro and warped abstract electronic composition, so expect him to push things into complicated rhythmic terrain. With WD4D, Clonal Machina, Mr. Shave, and Leave Trace. Re-bar, 9 pm, free, 21+. DAVE SEGAL


ZAMMUTO'S DIMINISHED RETURNS

(Barboza) Once one half of the sample-happy, blog-loved electronic duo the Books, Nick Zammuto’s decided to try his hand as a solo artist, to sadly deflated results. Does the world need another self-serious songwriter who fills his mock-epic suites with portentous synth swells and lines about echo chambers and hegemony? Probably not. Going for a Panda Bear–lite hippie-pop vibe, Zammuto can’t quite wrap his vocal cords around a hook, and those bleating keyboards aren’t adequately filling the space in between. Zammuto may think he’s the second coming of David Byrne; instead, you’ll find yourself halfheartedly dancing to second-rate, spoon-fed electro rock, a sad and half-assed vanity project from a once-promising talent. KYLE FLECK
See event info »

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What a Boy Who Got Hit in the Head with a Meteor Has In Common with a Mean-Spirited Aristocrat

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 2:04 PM

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The pleasure of browsing the shelves of a library or bookstore is the pleasure of surprise, of discovery. I don't know how many new readers Ryu Murakami has won by simply taking up shelf space next to Haruki Murakami, for example, but I suspect it's a not-insignificant number. And some not-insignificant portion of those readers have surely read more books by Ryu Murakami because they were surprised by how much they enjoyed him. These are the sorts of introductions that an algorithm can't broker. These are more than accidents—they're serendipities, and serendipities are part of the joy of reading. But they're not the only accidental-yet-meaningful discovery that comes from reading. I love it when I set down a book and pick up another, completely different book to find that they share some secret thematic link that only becomes obvious when the two books are read in sequence. A superstitious reader would call it a sign, but even the most reasonable person has to step back and wonder at the meaning behind the meaninglessness, if only for a moment.

Let's back up a bit: I went on vacation last week. Before I go on vacation, I have to choose the books I'll bring with me on vacation. This is important stuff: The books you bring on vacation can affect your mood. I go through a long and involved screening process that involves a two-foot stack of books in my living room. This process may or may not involve chicken blood and angry tears. Books enter the pile, they leave the pile, they re-enter the pile. I stare at their spines for a while, trying to divine whether or not I'll enjoy them or toss them aside after a disastrous first few pages. I eventually shave the two feet of books down by half, and I try for a relatively broad range of reading material.

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Two of the novels I brought with me* were about as diametrically opposed as works of fiction can be. The Universe Versus Alex Woods by Gavin Extence was recommended by a bookseller at Third Place Books, and it's definitely the crowd-pleaser of the two, a big-hearted John Irvingesque novel about a young man who gets hit in the head with a meteor and becomes a celebrity. Edward St. Aubyn's The Patrick Melrose Novels, which was given to me as a gift, is almost exactly the opposite of big-hearted, a collection of four novels about the eternally bored citizens of the British upper class and the terrible things they do to each other out of nothing so much as a sense of sport. One is a nasty but highly literary bit of business speckled throughout with dark comedy, and the other is an adorable, hard-to resist love letter to the work of Kurt Vonnegut. They're the sorts of books that should have absolutely nothing in common, but I was surprised to discover that they share a climactic dilemma, and they approach that dilemma from a remarkably similar place.

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Mayor Murray and Council Member Licata Announce New City Office of Labor Standards

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 1:05 PM

Ed Murray and Nick Licata make wage-law enforcement officially official.
  • AM
  • Ed Murray and Nick Licata make wage-law enforcement officially official.
This is all fairly straightforward, but for anyone who's been following the minimum-wage debate closely, you've been waiting with bated breath for this moment: At a City Hall press conference this morning, Mayor Ed Murray and city council member Nick Licata announced a proposal to create a city Office of Labor Standards to run the enforcement of city labor laws like the new $15 minimum wage.

Currently, business compliance with two of the city's other notable labor ordinances—the paid sick leave ordinance and a law regulating how employers can use background checks in hiring—is enforced through the city's Office for Civil Rights (OCR). OCR is great, but that's not necessarily a great fit (nor are there enough resources there). And the city's wage theft law is technically enforced via complaints to the police department, but it's generous to call that "enforcement," since no one ever gets charged with breaking that law.

Enter a city office designed expressly for the purpose of enforcing these great progressive labor laws that the city is so proud of passing. Mayor Murray calls this a "one-stop shop" for both employers and employees, with a focus heavy on education at the start, while the wage law is still new. Council Member Licata has been pushing for an office like this for a long time now, and he says he's "excited" to see it finally come to the table.

The budget details (nerd alert!): This office will be funded by sweeping the current employee hours that OCR is spending enforcing these laws—that's 1.5 positions—and combining it with 5.5 new positions, for a total of 7 full-time equivalent positions in the Office of Labor Standards. The budget for that comes from the general fund, and will be $511,000 in new dollars in 2015 and $660,000 in 2016. But the existing work is funded at $165,000 a year, so the total will actually be $715,000 in 2015 and $825,000 in 2016, according to mayoral spokesperson Jason Kelly.

They also announced a Labor Standards Commission to guide the work of the office. I'm so sick of city committees and commissions I'll reserve judgement till later, but they did say it will be composed of both employees and employers.

Two other important things:

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Watch Chris Walla's Last Performance With Death Cab for Cutie

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 12:43 PM

A month ago Chris Walla, Death Cab for Cutie guitarist and nominee for most genuine human being on the planet, announced that he was leaving the band he's been a part of for 17 years.

"Deciding to leave the band was not, and is not, easy. It’s really, really sad. I love my bandmates, and I’m proud of what we’ve done, and mercifully, those things don’t change with my departure," he wrote in a letter posted on Slog.

This weekend Walla and Death Cab played together for the last time at Rifflandia in Victoria, B.C. and thankfully there is video footage of the band saying goodbye:

While Walla is no longer a member of Death Cab, he did play on the band's eighth full-length album, which is due to be released in "early 2015." And while the band has not yet officially announced what their post-Walla plans are, I'm still available if they are looking to adopt more of a pop punk sound.

An Awesome Actor Does a Free Reading from a Crazy-Ass Play

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 12:31 PM

Samuel Beckett’s Happy Days is the one where the lady is partially buried in a pile of dirt the whole time onstage. It’s boundlessly strange and great, and tonight at Solo, New Century Theatre Company treats us all to a free reading featuring the incredible Amy Thone...


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LAPD Detains Black Woman for Kissing White Boyfriend

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 12:30 PM

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Because they thought she was a prostitute:

Actress Daniele Watts and her boyfriend Brian James Lucas (aka Cheffy BeLive) have taken to social media to protest Daniele’s recent arrest for prostitution. The young black woman’s actual crime? Kissing her white boyfriend in public. It seems someone saw the two kissing in public, didn’t like it, and told them to “stop putting on a show.” Minutes later, the police show up, and start asking Lucas questions which, he says, suggested that his girlfriend was actually a prostitute and he was her trick.... Interestingly, a California CBS affiliate says that California has no law requiring you to show your ID to the police if you’re just walking down the street. But they do have the right to detain you if they have “reasonable suspicion” of something.

It would appear that the cops believed they had a "reasonable suspicion" that Daniele Watts was a sex worker—I'm not saying it was reasonable, mind you, only that the cops actions would seem to indicate that they suspected Watts of being a sex worker for some reasonable reason. But if they believed Watts was a sex worker and she was selling sex to the man she was with and they detained her because prostitution is illegal... why didn't they detain her boyfriend too? It's not just selling sex that's illegal. It's illegal to buy sex. Anti-sex-work activists constantly argue that laws criminalizing prostitution are meant to protect women who sell sex from the real villains: men who buy sex. Yet here we have the cops breaking up what they believed to be a commercial sex transaction, and they detain the woman they suspected of selling sex—put her in cuffs, throw her in a police car—and not the man they suspected of buying sex?

Hm. I have a reasonable suspicion now that maybe anti-sex-work activists are lying when they say the laws against prostitution are meant to protect women doing sex work.

It also needs to be said: Watts shouldn't have been detained even if she were a sex worker because sex work shouldn't be illegal.

UPDATE: The NY Daily News has details—and tape—that complicate the narrative. Neighbors claim the pair was fucking in the car, which they dispute. And Watts was still within her rights to refuse to provide identification.

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Neil deGrasse Tyson Is Made of Star Stuff, but His Books Are Black Holes

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 12:04 PM

(Neil deGrasse Tyson reads at the Paramount Theatre tonight at 7 pm.)

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  • CHRIS CASSIDY

You can't argue with Neil deGrasse Tyson's appeal. The celebrity astrophysicist (and let's just take a moment to marvel at those two words) recently fronted Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, a relaunch of the 1980s Carl Sagan science documentary miniseries, to massive success. The show reached more than 130 million people worldwide in its first run, and is presumably reaching millions more now that it's streaming on Netflix. Can you recall the last time you've seen whole armies of human beings around the world enraptured by science? In this time when one in four Americans doesn't believe in global warming, Tyson's popularity is something to be cheered.

Fresh off the success of Cosmos, Tyson is now taking a victory lap, embarking on a tour of the United States and enjoying his newfound global celebrity. Four of his early books, too, have just gotten the deluxe treatment from W.W. Norton, seeing republication in a Cosmos-friendly trade dress. Originally published between 2004 and 2013, these books are likely next steps for people interested in expanding on the information that caught their attention in Cosmos, and they're also an opportunity to enjoy another dose of Tyson's personality.

As monuments to his charisma, the books are successful. Tyson's public persona—friendly, full of wonder, prone to dropping mind-blowing factoids into the conversation every few minutes to string along your interest—is thick in these pages. And his devotion to science is evident: Every few chapters, he rhapsodizes on the importance of NASA, say, or funding for scientific studies. But it's an unfortunate fact that the written Tyson simply doesn't measure up to some of the best science writing of our time...

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Is There Something a Little Distasteful About the New Report Claiming That "Classical Music" in Public Places is the Key to a "Calm Public"?

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 12:02 PM

What's bothering me about this short story in the Independent claiming that playing "classical music" in public places "could improve people’s behaviour... as it creates 'a calming effect by releasing pleasure-inducing dopamine and inhibiting the release of stress hormones'"?

More dopamine and fewer stress hormones sounds nice—but the idea as a whole makes me a little itchy. It recalls the various downtown businesses—from McDonald's to condos—playing opera and country music to "reduce crime." The implication is as clear as a bell: White-dominated music (and, in the case of classical, "civilized, white-dominated music") will chase away the violence, chaos, and crime. If a passer-by can't enjoy our notion of what music should sound like, she's probably a threat of some kind.

Maybe it's just because I've spent the morning reading Terra Nullius by Sven Lindqvist, in which he charts the hideous way Australian Aborigines were mentally exterminated by Europeans long before they broke out the guns and infections—because whites couldn't see anything they recognized, or anything they considered civilized, they considered the land empty. Terra nullius.

"This solid wall of white incomprehension ends with a death sentence couches in a tone of forced jocularity." Lindqvist writes. "'They'll soon be gone.'" Whether "gone" meant chased away or cut down didn't particularly matter—as long as they were out of sight, the colonizers were satisfied.

Cling on the Clingers

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 11:18 AM

Whoa, check THIS out!! The Clingers, an all-female Mormon vocal group who were also produced by Kim Fowley (what in the effin' EFF?!), turn in a fucking BLAZING version of the Easybeats' hit "Gonna Have A Good Time (Good Times)" on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. Seriously, the vocals here are live and RAW. Uh, I kinda think the Clingers' version almost rivals the Easys'!

In all, the sisters had a handful of cool 45s: the Easybeats' side (Columbia), "Mean It" (MGM), and an earlier side, "Lean Back Baby" (as by the Clinger Sisters). Sadly, the group never broke out, so eventually they dumped secular music and went "Christian." Tho' I presume they remained Mormons, which mean they were Christian cultist (or however the Mormon faith is classified)? They reformed in the '90s as the Clinger Sisters and I believe they're still recording and performing. Turns out, the Osmonds weren't the only Mormon family pop group who could also GET DOWN! Damn.

Yeah, Sure, What Happened to the Seahawks in San Diego Was Bad, But You Know What? It Doesn't Matter

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 11:16 AM

Sad Seahawks fan Lindsey almost as sad as sad Seahawks dog Chevy
  • Noah Benezra
  • Sad Seahawks fan Lindsey is almost as sad as sad Seahawks dog Chevy.

For the first time since the Seahawks became World Super Champions, their Insufferable Journey to Rewinnining the Super Bowl™ took a hit, as they fell to the San Diego Chargers 30-21 in weirdly hot San Diego, California. The Seahawks record now stands at 1-1 and the Insufferability Index™ has been lowered from “dangerously smug” to “fedora-tippingly respectful of our opponent's well-earned victory.”

Let's break it down:

The Seahawks didn’t play badly per se. Russell Wilson was really good until the last drive of the game, and the defense prevented the Chargers from getting any big yardage plays, forcing the Chargers to drive methodically, putting them at risk of turning the ball over. This is Pete Carroll defense at its finest… except the turnovers never came, the field was really hot, the defense got tired, and now we're all a bunch of losers.

So, why no turnovers? A mix of skill and luck, which… duh. So I'll be more specific. San Diego quarterback Philip Rivers provided the skill, refusing to put the ball into the hands of the Legion of Boom, much as he refused to have sex with his wife before they got married. The Chargers went 10 for 17 converting third downs, and they never turned the ball over. Let's all tip our invisible fedoras to those numbers.

Oh you're wearing an actual fedora? TAKE IT OFF! What are you doing?

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Did You Know It's the Season When Giant House Spiders Walk Around Seattle Homes?

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 10:27 AM

Originally posted last year, but I've bumped it up to this morning because—as new Stranger managing editor and Bay Area transplant Kathleen Richards discovered to her horror this weekend—this is the time of year when the Pacific Northwest-dwelling Giant House Spider wants to hang out with you.

I didn't know about the Giant House Spider until last night, when Alison Holcomb—the ACLU lawyer best known for running an initiative that legalized pot last fall—decided to post this photo from inside her bathroom on my Facebook wall:

Eeeeeeeaaaaaahhhk!
  • Alison Holcomb
  • Eeeeeeeaaaaaahhhk!

Holcomb asked for advice about what to do with a creature with a leg span of four or five inches. I am an admitted arachnophobe. I did not provide advice. I closed Facebook. Then I called her today to find out if she survived.

"It appears to be the Giant House Spider—it's aptly named," said Holcomb.

The GHS (Tegenaria duellica or T. gigantea) originally lived in Europe, but it "was unwittingly introduced to the Pacific Northwest of North America circa 1900," according to Wikipdedia. The Woodland Park Zoo adds that the fuckers can hustle at an astonishing 1.73 feet per second—making them the fastest spider in the world. And they dart through your house AT THIS TIME OF YEAR. The zoo says the "best time to see" them is in "late summer, when wandering males search for females."

Or as Holcomb puts it, "They come out running around your house looking to score."

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Lingerie for Your Kind of Black Skin

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 10:01 AM

This is all the rage in the black world...



Nubian Skin bras and panties are colored to match, to work with, to enhance various shades of skin for the race of humans who are defined as black. It is interesting that the company that makes this line of lingerie is based in the UK and not the US, which has a much larger black market. Nubian Skin is something like a revolution in the undergarment world.

What's That By the Side of the Road? UW Becomes Mad Campus

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 10:01 AM

PIPER ONEILL Her first giant inflatable sculpture, The Lone Stranger (Inflated), is based on the nostalgic carnival prizes from the 1930s and 40s. Theres not a lot of women working at a really big scale, and that kind of pisses me off, she said.
  • JG
  • PIPER O'NEILL Her first giant inflatable sculpture, The Lone Stranger (Inflated), is based on the nostalgic carnival prizes from the 1930s and '40s. "There's not a lot of women working at a really big scale, and that kind of pisses me off," she said.

Why shouldn't Seattle's largest, leafiest, loveliest college campus host free public outdoor art exhibitions? What's surprising it that it hasn't been happening all along. But it's here now: Thirteen artists—more than half of them alums, as is Allison Milliman, head of the sponsoring organization, MadArt—created 12 installations across campus. The exhibition, Mad Campus, opened this past weekend and will be up through October 25. It's more evidence of the new era at the School of Art, Art History, and Design, an era incoming chair Jamie Walker hopes will be open, connected, with just more happening than the cloistered recent years.

Right out along 15th Avenue Northeast are two large, splashy pieces: Piper O'Neill's huge inflatable dimestore cowboy The Lone Stranger (Inflated) and Kevin McCarthy's shiny robot dog made of iridescent, metallicized vinyl, Sentinel.

O'Neill's work rises out of the past, inspired by vintage carnival prizes from a time that looms large in American cultural memory—the 1930s and 1940s—if the antiquing habits of entire generations are to be believed. The Lone Stranger (Inflated) has this sad, blank look in his giant eyes; he's satirizing hero worship (he's (Inflated), after all) while also being lovable. O'Neill's earlier incarnations of these carnival figures, seen at Winston Wächter Gallery, were small and cast in bronze, made precious and commoditized. This one, endearingly, could come crashing down with the pop of a needle.

Sentinel, McCarthy's abstracted robot dog, is said to be best seen at night. During the day he might blind passersby and should probably be powering the surrounding buildings. His seams also look a little clumsier than you'd like from up close. At just the right distance, Sentinel maintains the appearance of hovering temporarily like a dream, a futuristic, crystallized companion for the Terminator. Look for the panel of lenticular photographs standing in for a face.

KEVIN MCCARTHY Sentinel, on 15th Avenue Northeast, north of Piper ONeills The Lone Stranger.
  • JG
  • KEVIN MCCARTHY Sentinel, on 15th Avenue Northeast, north of Piper O'Neill's The Lone Stranger.

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This Is an IKEA Ad

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 9:35 AM

But what are they selling exactly? And which is worse: giggling kinky parents or mortified glowering teenagers?

What Happens After the Fall of Mars Hill?

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 9:05 AM

This weekend the Seattle Times—after spending a decade and a half sliding its tongue in and out of Mark Driscoll's ass—ran a big cover story on the rise and fall of Mars Hill. (Back when the Seattle Times was writing glowing profiles of Driscoll, the Stranger was suggesting picket lines outside his church.)

Two quick thoughts: It's hard to feel much sympathy for all the Mars Hill pastors, elders, leaders, and members who have been pushed out, fired, shunned, etc., by Mark Driscoll and the rest of the neo-Calvinists at Mars Hill. Driscoll is an abusive shit stain? Really? You don't say. Funny that you're just coming to that realization. Because people who never set foot inside a Mars Hill deep-fried Jesus franchise could clearly see Driscoll for what he was years ago. But you guys—leaders and "elders" in Driscoll's church—you couldn't see it.

Or maybe I'm being too kind. You probably could see it and you were fine with it. You were fine with Driscoll's bullying and his megalomania. You were fine with helping Driscoll promote his retrograde sexism. You were fine with Driscoll's bigoted attacks on gay people. (Homosexuality, Driscoll preached, is a cancer, and Mars Hill wants to "kill the cancer.") All of that was fine with you. But when it was your turn to be bullied and shamed and attacked... that wasn't fine with you. So now you've got the big sadz and you're leaving Mars Hill. And everyone who could see Driscoll for what he was is supposed to feel sorry for you because... why exactly? Because Driscoll and the people still picking corn out of his shit finally got around to being awful to you? And we're supposed to feel like you're being brave when you walk away from the monster—Mars Hill and Mark Driscoll—that you helped to create?

Please.

All you people leaving Mars Hill now—after ten or fifteen years in the pews, after ten or fifteen years of tithing, after ten or fifteen years of shunning the people Driscoll told you to shun, after ten or fifteen years of inviting credulous suckers to visit join your pseudo-hipster church (hey, the music is awesome!)—you aren't heroes. You aren't brave. You were part of the problem at Mars Hill. And if you leave Mars Hill only to go find some other charismatic "faith leader" to line up behind and throw your money at, then you've learned nothing from your experience at Mars Hill. And you can go fuck yourselves either way.

Okay! That was thought #1. Here's thought number #2. What happens after the fall of Mars Hill? Another Mars Hill will rise up to take its place:

A toned and sunburned 32-year-old Australian with the letters F-A-I-T-H tattooed onto his biceps strode onto the stage of a former burlesque theater here and shouted across a sea of upstretched hands and uplifted smartphones: “Let’s win this city together!” The crowd did not need much urging. Young, diverse and devoted to Jesus, the listeners had come to the Belasco Theater from around the city, and from across the country, eager to help an Australian Pentecostal megachurch that is spreading worldwide establish its first outpost on America’s West Coast. The church, Hillsong, has become a phenomenon, capitalizing on, and in some cases shaping, trends not only in evangelicalism but also in Christian youth culture. Its success would be rare enough at a time when religion is struggling in a secularizing Europe and North America. But Hillsong is even more remarkable because its target is young Christians in big cities, where faith seems out of fashion but where its services are packing them in.

The preacher wears jeans and gels his hair. There's a rock band. And Hillsong is pulling in scores of credulous young people!

Replace "Hillsong" with "Mars Hill" and this story—which ran last week in the New York Times—could've been written about ten or fifteen years ago about Mars Hill. And the stories being written today about Mars Hill will one day be written about Hillsong.

The Morning News: This Native Mask Was Probably the Inspiration for the Seakawks Logo

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 8:48 AM

Yeah, that looks like the Seahawks logo to me.
  • Courtesy of the Hudson Museum
  • Yeah, that looks like the Seahawks logo to me.

This Kwakwaka'wakw Mask from Vancouver Island Might Be the Original Inspiration for the Seahawks Logo: "For years, stories surrounding the inspiration of the Seahawks logo have swirled. No one seemed to have a clear idea on where it originated from until recently," KOMO reports. New research conducted by the Burke Museum reveals the designers may have seen this mask in a book called Art of the Northwest Coast Indians. It's a "transformation mask depicting an eagle (in its closed form) with a human face inside." You lift the top of that beak and it opens up. According to the Burke, the mask has always been exhibited "in the open position, so its similarity to the Seahawks logo was concealed." Also, it's been sitting way the hell out in Maine. So now the Burke is trying to get the mask to Seattle, for an exhibit called Here & Now that opens in November. If you care about masks or Seahawks or exhibits or helping, here's the Kickstarter to bring the mask to town.

Microsoft Buys Popular Video Game Minecraft: For $2.5 billion.

Hurricane Odile Hammers Mexico: "Tearing away the facades of luxury resorts, shattering countless car and hotel windows, and leaving lobbies swamped and full of debris."

Two SPD Cars Crashed into Each Other Yesterday: It was an accident.

This guys gonna be so hungry this winter.
  • Mule deer/Okanogan National Forest/Shutterstock
  • He's gonna be so hungry this winter.
Deer Are Going to Have a Hard Time This Winter in the Methow Valley: After the largest wildfire in Washington State history—400 acres square miles burned!—biologists worry that deer aren't going to have anything to eat.

World Leaders Met in Paris Today and Agreed to Use "Whatever Means Necessary" to Defeat ISIS: "The emergency talks were held as France began reconnaissance flights over Iraq after announcing it was ready to join American air strikes and the prospect of Britain joining military action moved closer," the Guardian reports. On Saturday, ISIS released a video of the third beheading of a Westerner and named the man they'll behead next.

Someone with Measles Was Walking Around Sea-Tac Airport Last Saturday: "Anyone at the north satellite terminal or baggage claim may have been exposed from 8 p.m. to 11:30 p.m.," KOMO/SeattlePI.com reports. "Measles symptoms begin seven to 21 days after exposure."

Just another music critic.

Rabid Bat Attacks Man While He's Jamming on His Guitar: Maybe the bat just didn't like his music? The guitarist says that's possible: "I've met quite a few people who don't like it." This happened at a campground in Oregon, in a place called Pinhead Creek.

Hillary Clinton: Was hanging out in Iowa yesterday, flipping steaks. Oh, no reason, she just really likes flipping steaks and hanging out in Iowa.

Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders: Said yesterday: "I am thinking about running for president."

Ebooks Become More Poet-Friendly: John Ashbery had a hell of a time years ago after agreeing to let his work be published in e-form, and four of his e-books had to be taken off the market. But now e-books have gotten around to doing line breaks right.

Central Link's Success Reveals Seattle's Poor Crowd Skills

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 8:03 AM

The Coming of Links Mind
  • CM
  • The Coming of Link's Mind?

Ridership on Link only knows how to increase (PDF):
[In July, Link] continued a very strong upward trend with a 14.2% increase in total boardings, and average weekday boardings stood at over 37,000; once again, setting a new monthly record.
In fact, at rush hour, and on Westlake Station's platform for southbound riders, there appears something right out of the future of this city. A city that is found nowhere else but here at this time. We see a whole crowd waiting for the train. And one is so excited to be a part of an actual crowd; but this enthusiasm turns to distress when one realizes that this crowd is in its infancy. It does not know how to confidently flow into a car and intelligently share a tight space. Seattle's crowd doesn't have a mind at present. Anyone who has been in the London Underground is soon aware of this mind—the way it waits, the way it swarms, the way it crams. This kind of mind has yet to arrive from our future.

A Gay Fantasia on Last Week’s Themes

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 7:31 AM

Layoffs (and blaming) at Mars Hill; misfire in a school lavatory; and an alleged Palin family brawl in Anchorage.
  • WARREN THROCKMORTON/PATHEOS; ArTono/Shutterstock; Andrew F. Kazmierski/Shutterstock
  • Layoffs (and blaming) at Mars Hill; misfire in a school lavatory; and an alleged Palin family brawl in Anchorage.

MONDAY SEPT 8 Dear readers: As you may have noticed, a recent feature of many Last Days columns has been the update on the Mars Hill mess, with almost every week bringing a fresh revelation on the creepy doings of and ever-growing backlash against the Seattle-based megachurch led by Pastor Mark Driscoll, an unabashed misogynist who’s stated publicly that God created women to house penises. (Worse, we believe he meant it as a compliment.) So let’s just get this week’s Mars Hill stuff out of the way so we can move on. The source of our update: Mars Hill Church itself, which followed up last week’s announcements on the closure of several Mars Hill branches by today announcing additional layoffs and holding forth on the church’s financial challenges on the Mars Hill website. “[W]e are now facing the most serious budget challenge in our history,” wrote church leaders. “Church budgeting is really a simple process in one respect: we are able to provide the level of staff and ministry programs that those who attend our church provide the resources for. In other words, it is ultimately our people, not our leaders, who determine how much ‘church’ we are able to provide.”
“This announcement probably doesn’t help the leaders,” writes Mars Hill beat master Warren Throckmorton at Patheos.com. “The implication of this notice is the layoffs are the fault of the people in the pews.” Bingo, and the blame-the-victim tone was so egregious that within hours Mars Hill leaders posted a clarification on their website: “[T]he original post below failed to acknowledge that the reason for much of the decrease in attendance and giving falls to us, the leadership of Mars Hill. We shoulder the responsibility for our past sins and mistakes—which has caused many to leave.”

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Youth Pastor Watch: Youth Pastors Love Your Children So Much!

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 7:18 AM

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ILLINOIS: "A former local youth pastor is accused of sexual abuse of a young child in Peoria County and is under investigation for a similar alleged crime in Pekin. Nicholas Lawrence, 26, of Pekin, served as pastor of youth services at Pekin Church of God for about 20 months before he was dismissed from the position on June 30, the church’s pastor said Thursday. He has remained in the Peoria County Jail since Tuesday, when he was charged with one count of aggravated criminal sexual abuse of a child under age 13, punishable by up to seven years in prison."

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CALIFORNIA: "A former youth pastor pleaded no contest Friday to molesting two girls at the church where he worked. Jonathan Michael Macy, 31, entered his plea to one count of lewd acts upon a child under the age of 14 and admitted the special allegation of more than one victim, Deputy District Attorney Jon Hatami said. An initial investigation began after there was a report of child molestation involving a girl and an employee at the Desert Christian School. A second victim was identified during the investigation. Officials say Macy molested two girls, ages 11 and 12, during Sunday church services at Grace Chapel."

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TEXAS: "Angel De Los Santos, a 26-year-old volunteer youth at Life Church in Odessa, he is now facing at least six counts of sexual assault with a child. According to the arrest report, Odessa Police responded to an outcry after a woman said her daughter had been having a sexual relationship with her youth minister. The girl said it all started when De Los Santos began sending her text messages that were religious in nature, but those later turned flirty. The messages would say he thought she was "hot" and had "beautiful eyes," eventually he said he wanted to have sex with her."

Youth Pastor James Young wrote an open letter to parents that was posted at Christianity Today earlier this week:

Have I told you that I love your kids? So much. I love watching them growing up and starting to come out of their shell. I love watching them start to take risks and dream big. I especially love them when they stumble and screw up. It's a pretty cool honour to be walking alongside them as they grow up.

Pastor Young has lots of advice for parents but "never leave your kid alone with a youth pastor" doesn't make his list of recommendations. Click through to read the rest of Pastor Young's advice.

Guest Editorial: To Fix Washington State's Problems, We Need Real Talk on Taxes

Posted by on Mon, Sep 15, 2014 at 6:00 AM

WE HAVE THE MOST REGRESSIVE TAX SYSTEM IN THE NATION We need to fix that.
  • WE HAVE THE MOST REGRESSIVE TAX SYSTEM IN THE NATION We need to fix that.

I have spent the last several months talking to thousands of people at their doors in Seattle, Skyway, and Renton. I’ve gone to dozens of endorsement interviews—with business and labor, with newspapers like The Seattle Times and The Stranger, with environmental and women’s rights organizations. The good news: we do agree on some big pieces of what we want from state government.

We want our kids to get a good basic education. We want a higher education system that doesn’t leave students crippled with debt. We want a transportation system that has good roads for different modes of transport and efficient public transit. We want a healthcare system that addresses our needs, from primary health to emergency care and help for the mentally ill. And we want government to use our money wisely, in ways that create solutions and build the future for our state.

Talking about what we want taps into the deep vein of hope for a better future that still exists across class, party, and race. This hope bridges the interests of businesses and working families. It reminds us that there is real common ground to be had and real community to build and nurture.

The problem, however, is that the reality of people’s lives is far from the desired. In the past four years, the state legislature has slashed spending by over $10 billion, with drastic consequences to the very issues people care most about.

The state has hiked tuition costs by more than a third for college (where the state once paid 70 percent of a student’s college costs, today it only pays 30 percent). In K-12 education, Washington ranks 49th in the nation for spending per student relative to income, and 47th in the country for class size. The opportunity gap is enormous for kids of color, who make up almost 40 percent of kids in the state. We are behind on maintenance for our highways and roads, so it is increasingly difficult to transport goods from our orchards to our ports. We have slashed public transit even as our population that depends on transit is growing. We also have Constitutional obligations to meet around a chronically underfunded mental health system.

In addition to all of this, the Supreme Court recently gave the state legislature one more session to “purge” the court’s finding of contempt by actually meeting lawmakers’ obligations on public education. This makes the challenge of the next legislative session—and the next several years—clear. Our legislature and our state’s residents must figure out where the money will come from so that we can fund the common investments we all agree we want. Funding education by cutting all the other supports that kids and families need to be healthy is simply not an option.

I believe that to keep our economy healthy for all families while addressing the myriad needs of a diverse and growing population that aspires to something better, we need revenue that is three-legged, follows the money, and is right-side-up.

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Sunday, September 14, 2014

Forget Pumpkin Spice and Caramel Apple: Jesus Is the Flavor of the Season

Posted by on Sun, Sep 14, 2014 at 3:59 PM

This year's hottest season candy isn't pumpkin spice or caramel apple flavored... it's Jesus Harvest Seeds!

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With "scripture on every individual packet!"

Poster of the Week

Posted by on Sun, Sep 14, 2014 at 3:35 PM

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Tom Eykemans channels Art Chantry in this eye-catching, old-school poster design. It was actually made by cutting, pasting, and photocopying things, which deserves some recognition in and of itself. See more at automatondesign.com and monocol.com.

Tonight in Music: Lil Wayne vs. Drake, Pulse Emmiter and Addison Groove

Posted by on Sun, Sep 14, 2014 at 2:02 PM

LIL WAYNE VS. DRAKE: WHO'S ON FIRST?

(White River Amphitheatre) Is this even a fair fight? It’s like apples versus oranges, with apples being the smooth-and-sensitive hip-pop hitmaker Drake and oranges being the GOAT-tempting monolith on the wane Lil Wayne. In this case, as in life, I prefer oranges, but whatever your taste, this should be a hell of a show. Earlier tour stops have seen the eternal question “Who’s on first?” answered via text-message votes from the audience, and the guys have even worked up some playful between-song shit talk. Sample Wayne dis: “I been doing this shit since the little boy was in a wheelchair.” Sample Drake dis: “I know his career is longer but my shit is stronger!” Is Drake a good enough actor to say that line with a straight face? Find out tonight! DAVID SCHMADER
See event info »


PULSE EMITTER AND PANABRITE’S KILLER NEO-NEW-AGE VIBES

With the recent increased attention devoted to new-age music (the life-enhancing kind), you should direct your ears to an active modern composer doing great work in that style: Portland synth master Pulse Emitter (aka Daryl Groetsch). Recent releases like the 2013 LP Crater Lake and this year’s Alien Vacation are brilliant elaborations of patient, ever-evolving cosmic tone exploration that will calm your chakras and align your heartbeats. Seattle’s Panabrite is an ideal complement for this show: His upcoming full-length on Immune, Pavilion, is one of his more tenebrous and tension-building ambient efforts. The beatific vibes at this show are gonna be off the chain. With Walt the Fish. Machine House Brewery, 8 pm, $8 adv/$10 DOS, all ages. DAVE SEGAL

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The Best Reason Ever to Go to Auburn (as if You Need an Excuse!)

Posted by on Sun, Sep 14, 2014 at 12:28 PM

You guys. Duh. It’s LIL WAYNE! And DRAKE! Aka the greatest reason to pile into your friend’s Geo Tracker and head to Auburn while it’s still nice out. It’s supposed to be a battle: Lil Wayne versus Drake (feat. Street Fighter font)—but I’m not gonna choose sides. How could you? Weezy’s a reckless and...


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Saturday, September 13, 2014

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What Would Katy Perry Do?

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Friday, September 12, 2014

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