Big Argument, Tiny Apartments: Dominic Holden takes issue with aPodment haters.
The Right to Bear Gay Husbands: Cienna Madrid looks at some suspicious pro-gun, pro-gay signs that are popping up around Capitol Hill. (And the dopes at Reason, hilariously, took offense at Cienna's post.)
You Can Tell They're from Portland By Their Terrible Teeth: Goldy says Portland voters are stoopid.
I Apologize for My Gender: Anna Minard explores how to fight street harassment.
Hint: It's Not Because the Air Conditioning Failed: You really should read Ansel Herz on "Why They Break Windows."
Oops: How Dominic Holden accidentally forced Mike O'Brien into a primary fight.
More Than One Way to Skin a Rat: What it's like to take a taxidermy class, with plenty of gross pictures.
That's (An Appropriate Amount of) Entertainment: On The Great Gatsby, adaptations, and how much entertainment is too much entertainment.
Also This Week: The heckle heard round the world:
Originally published December 4, 2008:
My girlfriend and I have been on-and-off for almost two years. I took her back after she cheated on me. Now she wants a threesome. I am not down with sharing her, but I am willing to do it because otherwise some other girl will do it for her. I told her that I want to be stoned, because I don't think I can handle it sober. She got mad because she doesn't like drugs. Then what am I supposed to do?
Lesbian With One Real Dilemma
My response after the jump...
Posted by news intern Ansel Herz
The Broken Bridge: There was no posted height limit on the I-5 Skagit River bridge and the bridge had a history of "high load hits" by trucks. The Mayor of Burlington had reportedly lobbied for years to upgrade the bridge. Here's how to get around the freeway closure.
How Central American Migrants Cross the Border: They huddle near water pipes, catch rides on freight trains, and fight off drug cartels, according to a reporter who embedded with them.
Holder Approved Going After FOX Reporter: Why, though? As The Daily Show points out, the guy reported that North Korea would respond to sanctions with more nuclear tests. Which is kind of like reporting, "Jon Stewart is Jewish!"
Mom Says Police Needlessly Killer Her Son: Police in Fife say that after a long standoff with a belligerent suspect, they shot and killed him when he dangled his son over a balcony. The man's mother tells a very different story. She says the police rescued her grandson, and then, "Not even two seconds later they ran down the driveway, in the gate, ramrodded the door and then I heard two shots."
Look, More Riots in Europe: Take note, Goldy. About 30 cars were set ablaze in a fifth night of violent protests by poor and largely immigrant youth in Stockholm, "despite Sweden's reputation for equality."
Africa Still Rising: The African Union is celebrating its 50th anniversary with a summit, and Ethiopia's Prime Minister says the organization's Pan-Africanist aspirations remain relevant to this day. Brazil will cancel $900 million in debt in order to boost ties. Thomas Sankara and other African revolutionaries would be proud, one hopes.
Two Full-Time Rangers at Seattle Parks: Interim SPD Chief Jim Pugel says uniformed but unarmed rangers will patrol Cal Anderson and Occidental Parks, working closely with police, linking homeless people with services and settling small disputes that arise.
Intermittent Sun and Rain Showers This Memorial Day Weekend: That's according to Cliff Mass, anyway. Enjoy it!
The wind blew the 'S' down! More photos from sunny/windy/rainy/sunny again Sasquatch 2013 right here!
Posted by Chow intern Emily Klein.
• Saturday, drink a “special boozy birthday cake shake” to celebrate Hot Cakes’ first birthday, then head over to Westlake to speak out against chilling corporate rapacity at the March Against Monsanto.
• Monday is not only Memorial Day—it’s also National Hamburger Day. Get a FREE burger at Li’l Woody’s!
All the details, plus more food events, in the Chow calendar.
There are not enough exclamation marks in the internet. More photos over here. HAPPY WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This week’s short film is another music video (I will return to proper short films next week) for Hey Marseilles’s “Heart Beats.” The reason for picking the video is the local cinematographer and current Genius Award nominee Benjamin Kasulke, who helped make it with “Hayley Young, Sean Donavan, Mel Eslyn, Jeremy Mackie, and a zillion others.” In this year’s SIFF, Kasulke’s work can be seen in 2 local productions—Lynn Shelton’s Touchy Feely and Dayna Hansen’s Improvement Club. "Heart Beats” captures Seattle perfectly.
Unpaid news intern Ansel Herz was upstairs at Cafe Vita on Pike this morning around 9:30, when he ran downstairs to get a napkin. Apparently, during the 10 seconds he was gone, somebody stole his Panasonic GH2 camera with a 20mm lens. If that was you, I mean, really? You can afford fancy latté drinks, and then you go and steal some kid's camera?
Let's be clear: you didn't just score a victory against The Man. You ripped off an unpaid intern, an earnest (perhaps too earnest) defender of the downtrodden. And you ripped off one the tools of his trade. That's like stealing a carpenter's hammer. You should be ashamed of yourself.
So here's the deal: If you stole Ansel's camera and you're reading this—or you know who stole the camera—do your sense of justice and self-worth a favor and drop it off at our front desk (1535 11th AVE, 3rd Floor), no questions asked. Or, say, you found his camera, and just didn't know who it belonged to, please do the same.
It sucks trying to break into the journalism business these days. Please don't make it any suckier.
Posted by news intern Ansel Herz
After midnight on Tuesday, Seattle police officer Adley Shepherd noticed a disturbance near Pike and 10th
Street Ave, near Neumos involving a group of seven or so men. As he approached the group in his patrol car, he noted that two men "immediately part[ed] ways," and headed from the scene in opposite directions, according to a police report.
The diligent Officer Shepherd got out to speak with the remaining men, one of whom "claimed that he was shaving the tip off of his cigarette with his small pocket knife" when "without warning or provocation of any sort, one of the two suspects that I saw walk off pulled a knife and placed it against [the victim's] neck as if he was going to cut his throat."
"[The victim] feared for his safety and did not react," the police report adds.
Just as suddenly, the alleged knife-wielder released his supposed victim "without inflicting any bodily injury." Although the victim was "noticeably upset," he did not identify which of the two men had threatened him and told Officer Shepherd that he didn't want the police involved. The victim mentioned he planned to spend the night at his girlfriend's place, but would first stop to buy cigarettes at the gas station on Pike and Broadway.
Officer Shepherd could've resumed his patrol at that point. But like a modern-day McNulty, he knew better, and suspected that whoever threatened the victim "was most likely in the same vicinity where the victim was heading to buy cigarettes," according to his police report.
Sure enough, at the gas station he spotted the two suspects and ordered them to stop. Shepherd frisked both and found a "red colored Husky box cutter knife" in the second suspect's pocket, "just as he started reaching for it," he says in the report. As the victim arrived at the gas station, backup officers arrived. They identified outstanding warrants and thefts tied to one of the suspects, the report states (the other suspect was released). The victim identified the suspect as having threatened him, but reiterated that he didn't want to press charges, Shepherd notes.
Nevertheless, the suspect was transported to the King County Jail where, during intake, another officer recovered "a small baggie concealed between his butt cheeks."
The baggie contained a white powder, according to the report. Shepherd retrieved the 1.4-ounce baggie. The substance field-tested positive for cocaine, and the officer duly deposited the knife and cocaine baggie into the SPD Evidence Unit drop-box, the report concludes.
That's one less knife-wielding cocaine-in-the-butt smuggler on the streets of Capitol Hill, according to police. And yet, Officer Shepherd's report is written in clear, dry, matter-of-fact prose. There's not a hint of pride, satisfaction, or amusement with the results of his indefatigable police work.
Take a bow, Shepherd.
Originally published May 3, 2007:
I'm a 42-year-old straight guy, married 15 years, no kids. I love my wife, and I have remained faithful. Recently, I opened a Second Life (SL) account, and created an avatar/alter ego for myself. I created an SL account with a female avatar because, although I'm straight and comfortable with my gender and sexuality, I've always fantasized about being transformed into a beautiful woman and having sex with other beautiful women. SL allows me an opportunity to explore this fantasy of being a lesbian, and also lets me engage in types of fantasy sex-play I would not normally do in real life (RL), such as BDSM, multiple partners, and anonymous sex.
I laid down some ground rules for myself: (1) I would NOT form a partnership in SL. (2) I would NOT, under any circumstances, discuss or reveal any details of my RL with anyone. (3) I would NOT form emotional relationships with other avatars. I have followed these rules to the letter.
My wife knows I have an SL account, but that's it. She's made it clear that she considers sex in SL to be adultery. I disagree. I see it as a form of user-controlled porn—so long as I follow the three rules above. I only go on SL when she is not at home, and I do not spend time in SL when I could be with her. We have a normal sex life, although she's not as GGG as she was when we were first married. She's grown more conservative—personally and sexually, not politically—as she's grown older. I love my wife very much, and I want my marriage to last. But sexually I'm more adventurous than my wife, and SL allows me to express that side of myself without any RL adultery.
Nevertheless, Dan, I feel guilty. My wife would not be happy (understatement of the young century) if she knew of my SL activities. And I hate lying to my wife. Yet, at the same time, I'm having so much fun—I am exploring fantasies I never could in real life, with a smoking-hot female avatar I'll never be. Should I come clean? Close down my SL account?
Second Lifer In Need Of Real Life Advice
My response after the jump...
On average, I bake two doughs a week, typically a whole wheat sandwich bread and a pizza, with sometimes an incredibly crusty pain à l’ancienne thrown into the mix. My home baking setup is nothing special: I've got fire bricks on the bottom rack of my bottom oven, where I tend to do most of my bread baking.
The bricks work fine, but they're unwieldy, and they're too thick to use in my smaller top oven, which heats up soooo much faster. So I was toying with getting myself a more versatile (if somewhat less massive) pizza stone. And then I started reading rave reviews from home pizza makers about Baking Steel, a 16 by 14 by 1/4 inch thick slab of steel.
The idea is that because it is more conductive than stone, a thick slab of steel will bake more evenly and at lower temperatures than stone. And faster. A faster baking time gives more "spring" to the crust—those larger bubbles that you find in the best pizzas.
Sounds great, but I don't want to spend $79 on something that works no better than what I already have. So... have any of you out in Slogland tried the Baking Steel? And if so, is it worth it?
Seen on the street a couple of days ago:
Kierkegaard wrote that truth is subjectivity and subjectivity is truth—as someone on the internet explains it, "while objective facts are important, there is a second and more crucial element of truth, which involves how one relates oneself to those matters of fact."
Somehow I don't think this is about that.
At 5 pm tonight (Seattle time), I'll be appearing on a Huffington Post Live stream to discuss Pope Francis's recent statements about atheists. (I Slogged about it for a bit earlier this week, and here's a slightly more impartial story.) If watching some folks talk about God (or the lack thereof) and the relative niceness of the new Pope as compared to ol' Ratzi sounds like your idea of a great way to kick off Memorial Day Weekend, you should tune in to this site at five.
This was in the teen-ish section of a chain clothing store:
What the actual fuck?! I googled. I got nothing explanatory in regards to this shirt.
But I did find some pretty good internet-mermaid-hole shit.
First: A brilliant WikiHow instruction manual titled "How to Make People Believe You're a Mermaid at School," with instructions such as "When the subject of of underwater life and the ocean comes up in class, act interested but informed, as if you are already an expert... Be ready to point it out when others are mistaken but don't make a nuisance of yourself.." And: "Change the subject when people talk about mermaids. A true mermaid would not be likely to enjoy having the secrets of her people discussed in public." I especially like "Part Five: Keep It in Perspective," which advises the reader, "Don't go overboard. If you drop too many hints or act too self-important, people will start to get irritated. The point of this is to become a mermaid, not to alienate your friends." Obviously, memorizing that entire page for later recitation at parties would not be a waste of your workday.
Second: A BBC News article titled "No evidence of mermaids, says US government," which includes the sentence, "The article was written from publicly available sources because 'we don't have a mermaid science programme,' National Ocean Service spokeswoman Carol Kavanagh told the BBC."
Either I have a brain injury, or this calls for a poll.
Here's what I took away from the meeting: Much of the council seems opposed to Licata's bill, Nickelsville doesn't even want to use it anyway—they want a church to rent property for them under current religious encampment rules. But while councilmembers gave Licata's staff some time to work with Nickelsville and see if they can make that happen, sources at city hall say they don't see a church ready to pay the thousands of dollars it would take to rent an adequate site, and there's no way the council will fund that if they're already underfunding the shelter beds they apparently prefer over camps.
So the mayor and Licata proposed a second option: Make Nickelsville permanent at its current site. This option has no traction anywhere. And the mayor is never going to stage the shittiest photo op in the world, i.e. sending in cops to tear down shelters and kick desperately poor families off city land.
Meanwhile, the city now has two lawsuits filed against it—it's being double sued by Nickelsville's neighbors. One is an adjacent property owner suing the city over reduced property values due to the encampment, the other is the Highland Park Action Committee, which is filing a claim against the city for allegedly allowing for an illegal use of the site, the council revealed at the meeting.
So that leaves us nowhere. There's no politically or financially viable solution, apparently. They can't stay there, they have nowhere to go, no one has any money. We're totally fucked. And it's an embarrassment for the city, all around.
If you have your picture taken in public space, legal precedent gives you no leverage to sue when your picture appears in art or journalism. But what about when an artist takes a picture of you—leaving you unidentifiable except maybe to yourself and people who know you—through the picture windows of your house? A new New York gallery show raises the questions.
Some Mudedes like to tell capitalism that it's dead, others like to...
A Mutare man seeking to renew his passport was told at the Registrar-General Office he was long dead and was shown a death certificate to prove it.
Elias Simbarashe Munanzwi got the shock of his life when last month he was told by officials that he could not renew his passport because there was a death certificate bearing his name, identity number, date of birth and village of origin.
“I was shocked to learn that records from the RG’s Office show that I am dead,” he said. “Up to now, I fail to understand how a death certificate was created bearing all my identity particulars.”
What are some of the top comments when a Redditor who happens to be a man puts up a picture post about quitting heroin?
Congratulations man. Thats no easy feat. Heroin has taken many a life. Good to see somone beat it
I don’t know you, but I love you for staying clean. It gives me hope for my brother.
Nice! What are some of the top comments when a Redditor who happens to be a woman puts up a picture post about quitting heroin?
Reddit just upvoted some girl’s mirror shot to the front page Holy fuck, guys
I don’t get it. This is just a picture of a person. What is interesting about this picture?
9 outta 10 would bang. With protection.
I fucking hate the internet. Rebecca Watson at Skepchick is the blogger that first noticed this, and she does a great job of explaining why it's so maddening.
The Vulture has composed an alarming chart showing how many network television shows have taken hits in the ratings over the 2012/2013 season.
The vast majority of the nearly 90 series that had their second or higher season on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, and the CW lost ground among adults under 50...more than 50 series declined by double digits, nearly 30 fell by 20 percent or more, roughly a dozen gave back a quarter or more of their young audience, and an unlucky seven saw their ratings collapse by at least one-third.
It's not all bad news: A few shows like Supernatural, Grimm, and The Big Bang Theory actually gained viewers. Wait, the Big Bang Theory gaining additional viewers is bad news, too, isn't it? Anyway, network television seriously needs to change their model before the bottom drops completely out. I suspect that cable is going to have to do the same thing soon.
Carrie will be operating her website and selling books at the warehouse (1$ for paperbacks, 2$ for hardback, or 1.50$/lb) until the end of May … Details are still getting worked out but it looks like 10 dollars for 8 books or 18 for 16.
If you're into spending your days rifling through a warehouse packed with dirt-cheap books, it sounds like a road trip might be in order.
A local ABC affiliate describes the situation this way: "BART is rolling out a new plan that will allow it to ban passengers who don't behave."
But the RT blog describes it this way: "New law will ban protesters from riding mass transit in California... that power could be used to prevent political protesters from getting to demonstrations or essentially going anywhere."
The law is here and states, among other things, that possession of any illegal substance, "lewd" behavior, "unruly" behavior, or pretty much anything a transit cop decides is undesirable—they get a lot of discretion—can lead to a year-long prohibition from public transit. (It seems one must have gotten three infractions in 90 days.)
This measure was put in place, in part, because of repeated protests against BART in San Francisco after a BART cop shot and killed a mentally ill homeless man. (A few years prior, a BART officer shot and killed an unarmed 22 year-old.) BART, of course, defends the law as an attempt to "create a safer, cleaner environment for BART riders and employees."
But even the ABC report recognizes that "AB 716 won't only target violent behavior. It can be applied to protestors who have been arrested during free-speech movements."
This news is approximately three hundred million internet years old (I saw it Monday), but it hasn't been on Slog yet.
Treehugger reports that a firm called Broad Sustainable Construction has obtained final approval to begin, starting a June, building a 220-story tower in Changsha, China, that reaches a half mile high, making it the world's tallest building. Ominously, they're giving it the same name as that bland restaurant on top of the Space Needle: Sky City.
Unlike decorative towers that serve airplane food and trophy skyscrapers like the Burj Khalifa, this Sky City is supposedly functional, affordable, and comparatively inexpensive to build. Many components of the pre-fab modular construction are being built off site, so the on-site construction schedule is only about three months. "It all just bolts together," writes treehugger. "BSC claims that by building this way, they eliminate construction waste, lost time managing trades, keep tight cost control and can build at a cost 50% to 60% less than conventional construction."
But the description gets a little breathless. "By using elevators instead of cars to get to schools, businesses and recreational facilities, thousands of cars are taken off the roads and thousands of hours of commuting time are saved," they gush, adding that it will include nearly one million square feet of vertical organic farms. "The numbers continue to stagger. In one building, there will be accommodation for 4450 families in apartments ranging from 645 SF to 5,000 SF, 250 hotel rooms, 100,000 SF of school, hospital and office space, totaling over eleven million square feet. The building footprint is only 10% of the site; the rest is open parkland."
Here's a video:
I'm admittedly enchanted—it's a giant, modular arcology, you guys!!—but the pinnacle of density is not the pinnacle of destiny. In fact, it's arguably a relic of the past (towers in the park, anyone? and care to live in a mall?), and even if it's less expensive than other super skyscrapers, high rises are always more expensive to build and more complicated to finance than low-rise buildings, which provide ample density for a city and relate better to the street. Still, it's an amusing experiment in super-high-density-construction that isn't just for the rich. Though I doubt those 210th story penthouses are gonna be doled out to proles, either.
The manager at Ballard Annex Oyster House is so smooth and good-looking, it's like you're in a movie. You're the extras out to dinner at the tastefully upscale, bustling seafood restaurant. The manager—who's suavely introducing himself and asking if he can get you a drink before the waiter, who will also introduce himself, arrives—is played by The Rock, at last realizing his dream of running his own restaurant from The Rundown. When you say you don't know what you want to drink yet, The Rock graciously allows this—reassures you, even—and, muscularly, moves on. No explosion ever occurs...
*Plus Its Portland Cousin, Southland Whiskey Kitchen
While it's true that The Hangover, Part III doesn't exactly duplicate the plot of the original Hangover, the way the atrocious Part II did, it doesn't bring anything much new to the screen, either. Doug (Justin Bartha) is kidnapped by a mob boss named Marshall (John Goodman), in order to convince the Wolfpack (Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis) to chase down Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong), who has stolen millions of dollars' worth of gold bars from Marshall. It gets more implausible from there, with a series of heists and stunts and a chase scene or two, all around Tijuana and Las Vegas. I laughed out loud a couple of times—is it telling that the best jokes in the movie have to do with cocaine, I wonder?—but mostly, I just wanted it to be over.
The problem is that it's the same humor as the other two Hangover movies, over and over again. Ken Jeong acts batshit crazy, Zach Galifianakis is inappropriate to just about everyone, and Bradley Cooper and Ed Helms get all the "can you believe this shit" lines, playing the fussy adults who have to chauffeur the hyperactive kids from one set piece to another. But they're not even given character arcs this time, unless you count bugging your eyes out and shouting "ALAN!" over and over again as a symbol of emotional growth.
None of this would matter if there were a lot of crazy humor in The Hangover, Part III, but there just isn't.
Insane Clown Posse play El Corazon tonight and tomorrow night. Tickets are still available here.
You're playing El Corazón May 24 and 25. Why the two ICP Seattle shows?
Well, it's a small club, and it's been YEARS. No one would book us in Seattle for many, many years. Juggalos have a bad reputation, so for a long time, the closest we could come was Portland.
I have to ask. Your songs mention it, your fans guzzle it... why Faygo?
You gotta remember, we started out way back in the early '90s, comin' off the heels of the Beastie Boys and Run-DMC. DMC rapped about Adidas, and that was kinda like their thing, and the Beasties, at least back on their first album, used to mention White Castle hamburgers. Those things would link you to a group back then. When we were sitting around working on our very first songs, we wanted to incorporate who we were. We always drank Faygo.
Why not Vernors? That's from Detroit.
Vernors was expensive! Faygo Cola was only 69 cents for a two-liter. We used to leave the house and walk to the store with no money, and by the time we walked through the alley to get there, we would find at least seven empty bottles on the ground—then we'd walk away with a new ice-cold two-liter of Faygo, for free.