Books Apr 13, 2009 at 10:07 am

Just the Goat Section from the Book "All Known Metal Bands"

Jen Graves
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Comments

1
Beside at least half a dozen variations on "goat fucker," there is one band called Goat Penis and another called Goatpenis. Rokk!
on April 13, 2009 at 10:13 AM Report this
2
"Hey I just came up with a great name for our band: Goathammer!"

"Uh, sorry dude, there's already a band called Goathammer."

"Hmm...well, what if we call ourselves Goathammer Abortion?"

"Sweet, dude!" (pound beer, make devil horns, headbang)
on April 13, 2009 at 10:14 AM Report this
3
goat vulva?
on April 13, 2009 at 10:15 AM Report this
4
I don't envy bands these days. At least before the internet your shitty band could exist in isolation, ignorant of the ten other equally shitty bands around the world that had the same name. No wonder most new bands have lengthy phrases for names now.
on April 13, 2009 at 10:20 AM Report this
5
I can't wait for the Arab world to embrace metal. Instead of goat-fucking, all the names will probably involve camels.
on April 13, 2009 at 10:22 AM Report this
6
I can't wait for the Goatworship vs. Goatworship battle!
on April 13, 2009 at 10:30 AM Report this
7
Oscar the Grout
on April 13, 2009 at 10:32 AM Report this
8
He forgot the Mountain Goats.
on April 13, 2009 at 10:33 AM Report this
9
lubricated goat
on April 13, 2009 at 10:39 AM Report this
10
Goat Penis and Goat Vulva need to make a Goat Genitalia compilation album.
on April 13, 2009 at 10:41 AM Report this
11
This is going to be very helpful for writing the next installment of "Rock Band, Race Horse or Adult Film Title."

Thanks.
on April 13, 2009 at 10:44 AM Report this
12
Ah, Goatmeat is still available.
on April 13, 2009 at 10:44 AM Report this
13
@8 - Mountain Goats aren't metal, and they don't start with the word "Goat," which you might have noticed all these band names do.
on April 13, 2009 at 10:45 AM Report this
14
Goatvomit666 sounds like the account I used to troll AOL forums back in 1996.
on April 13, 2009 at 10:46 AM Report this
15
I'm a pretty big metal fan, but I tend to stay away from bands named "Goatvomit". I don't know, it seems so trite, like they were cleaning up after a pet or something.

"Gronsur, what are we to name our band?"

"Listen, Doomshackle, I don't have time for this right now, I have to clean up the... goat...vomit..."

"Wow, what a eureka moment!"

"Wait, isn't there already a goatvomit?"

"We can add something snazzy to the end, like 666!"
on April 13, 2009 at 10:46 AM Report this
16
Oh man! Goatorade isn't taken yet! My band's gonna be Goatorade!
on April 13, 2009 at 10:50 AM Report this
17
"Goat Fetus" is available, I see.
on April 13, 2009 at 11:06 AM Report this
18
I personally like Goatlord Corp. It becomes even more evil if it's also a big business!
on April 13, 2009 at 11:13 AM Report this
19
That list, and the comments here, are the funniest things I've read in a while! I'm trying not to cry and my boss keeps glancing over my way with a confused look.

Goathammer Abortion... wtf?!?

Awesome!
on April 13, 2009 at 11:28 AM Report this
20
I see that Goatlord is totally played out.
on April 13, 2009 at 11:56 AM Report this
21
there are still metal bands? why?
on April 13, 2009 at 12:15 PM Report this
22
I am reading this in bed with the flu - my sick and 15-weeks pregnant self, and I am crying from laughing so hard. Go Goats!
on April 13, 2009 at 1:11 PM Report this
23
if i were a goatrapist or goatsodomizer, i probably would try to keep that under wraps - even though i know that's not very metal of me.
on April 13, 2009 at 1:59 PM Report this
24
I bought that book for my friend for Christmas, and it is probably one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen. I entertained myself for about an hour just flipping to random pages and reading the band names out loud. So ridiculous.

It's also really pretty -- black paper with silver print. My friend keeps it in the bathroom for potty-time reading.
on April 13, 2009 at 2:06 PM Report this
25
Now give us the squirrel page.
on April 13, 2009 at 2:27 PM Report this
26
That book RAWKS. My lovely and adorable wife got it gfor me for my birthday. I think "Twat Appetizer" is my favorite.
on April 13, 2009 at 2:58 PM Report this
27
Skategoats.
on April 13, 2009 at 4:10 PM Report this
28
Goatsplosion.
Goatsummoner.
Goat Annihilation.
Goatherd Satan.
on April 13, 2009 at 7:35 PM Report this
29
sadly, we're only getting a taste (maybe I should use another word then "taste") of the 'goat' bands. For instance, we're not being introduced to Black Anal Goat Vomit (www.myspace.com/blackanalgoatvomit) or Necrosadistic Goat Torture (http://www.myspace.com/necrosadisticgoat…).
on April 13, 2009 at 9:33 PM Report this
30
No GoatBlower?
on April 13, 2009 at 11:31 PM Report this

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