Thanks for all you do, Dan.

My letter...

Dear Superintendent McNeece and Principal Wiygul:

I am shocked and disappointed to learn of your choice to cancel prom. I am even more disappointed in your decision to do so because of a student's choice to bring her same-sex date to the event. Your decision only goes to show how ignorant you and your school board have chosen to be.

Not only was this decision an ignorant one, but your choice is also putting the student and her date at a huge risk for being ostracized by their peers. Ostracized for a decision that you have made.This is unacceptable.

I am unsure as to what you are afraid of happening between the two female students that would be "distracting" to the other students that wouldn't also be a concern with straight students. As someone who has attended prom just last year, I find couples dancing suggestively and girls wearing revealing dresses to be much more distracting than who someone brought as his or her date. If it is "distractions" you are worried about, you have a much broader set of rules to create -- rules that don't focus solely on gender or sexuality. Insisting a couple misses an important event like the prom just because you are uncomfortable and uneducated about a lifestyle that is unfamiliar to you is not okay.

As authority figures, it is your job to set an example for students as to what is right and what is wrong. I was sorry to find out that you have made the wrong decision in this situation. Having the jobs you do, I assume that you are both intelligent and well-educated individuals. I hope for you and for your future students can take this and turn it into a learning experience.

I am sure your inboxes are currently full of letters much like mine, but I sincerely hope that you can overcome your hangups and allow these girls to enjoy this experience like the normal teenagers they are.

Thank you for your time, I hope you realize that the choice you have made up to this point is wrong. Hopefully it's not too late to reverse the damage you have caused, both to your students and to the name of your school. Much like the racial segregation of the 1960s, your choices and the decisions you will soon be forced to make will surely go down in history. It's your choice as to what our children and grandchildren will be learning about your school in their history books. I hope you make the right decision.

- Vanessa Fraser
Toronto, ON, Canada

This is one of those times where, instead of saying "Sounds like someone is punished for living in (shitty state), works for me," I'm honestly outraged for this girl. She had no choice and is stuck in a shitty state, and this is just unfuckingreal.

Time for another Civil War.

The big impact is to tourism.

Don't forget to contact nearby resorts and other tourist destinations, and make it clear you were planning on visiting them, but now you won't.

Here's Teresa McNeece's facebook profile. Remember, you don't have to be her friend just to say hi and tell her that you've been thinking about her.

http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=Teresa…

So the new strategy is to vilify the students. Lovely, how low can you go?

Can we have a fund-raiser for a private prom/party on the same night? People could donate to it, someone there could organize it and host it, and maybe Dan or someone else well known could MC/DJ. Is someone else already doing this? If not, it seems like it would be a great thing to start. Even if the school caves to the pressure and decides to have the prom and let her go, it would be great if people went to a better one instead.

McNeece says she likes playing sport. She's also single. Me thinks the lady is a closet lesbian.

@9: Oh, you're a shameless man, LC.

The school board canceled it and blamed her, and now the students are starting to react in earnest. Give it some time! Maybe you'll get your wish, what you really REALLY want to happen to her?

Just what the troll and LC were praying for.

@9: Vilify? By quoting local news reports? Oh, right, the MSM are slaves to the ghey agender, I forgot.

Just sent off a facebook message to Teresa:

Please reconsider your decision to cancel the prom at Itawamba County Agricultural High School.
Your profile says that your iPod has christian music, but have you been listening?

On McNeece's profile:
"My ipod mostly has country and christian music. "

Why am I not fucking surprised? This seriously has to stop... about 20 years ago. I'm embarrassed for her ignorance.

On a side note, LC is a man? Here I was thinking that it was a Jesus lovin' all American right-wing Christian mom spewing hate all over Slog.
Huh.

@ 24 - LC is a many-headed hydra-troll poster.

And ALL of her/his/its heads are firmly lodged up its butt. It's actually a wonder that it can see to post from up in there.

The letter I emailed and posted on Facebook:

Equality means treating all of your students fairly regardless of their religion, gender, race or sexual identity.

I realize that you probably disagree with the last bit of that statement. Not very long ago most folks in your county would have disagreed with that statement based upon the earlier word - RACE. Before that it was probably both gender discrimination and religious discrimination.

If I were to say, "This is why women make bad school superintendents," you would rightly feel that the statement is ignorant and hateful. I don't feel that way, because I am neither ignorant nor hateful. However, saying "We cannot allow lesbians in official high school activities . . . it's just wrong" is a horrible example of you hating a teenager. Not as a private-citizen-bigot, but as a public servant.

I know you have justifications for your decisions. Just realize that they were all used to prevent different races from coming to the dances years ago. Before that they were used to keep out people who didn't go to the Superintendent's church. It is simply bigotry. You are wrong to terrorize people in the minority. One day, someone in your family will be publicly hated and humiliated in public, and although I pray that never happens, if it does, it will be the only way you will ever know what it feels like.

I pity you the email, and loathing, that you will suffer over the next few days. I pity the ignorance and malice you live with far, far more.

Dr. Jason Gruss
Chicago, Illinois

By the way, I have no wish to be anonymous about this letter. I am not hate mongering. I am honestly hoping that there is an argument, SOMEWHERE, from SOMEONE, that will illustrate to you why BIGOTRY of ANY KIND is ALWAYS wrong.

Dan, since the school board is trying to promote an option where "local businesses" offer a prom because they can exclude anyone they want, why isn't an inclusive option being proposed?

Let some gay business owners and everyone supporting this young girl chip in to host a prom that will allow everyone to attend? Show this backward school board how it should have been done in the first place!

Great letter @27. :)

Can we get some leather bear to go be her bodyguard until graduation?

just sent that McNeece a facebook message to go with the email I sent. Couldn't get thru on the phone though. there's always tomorrow. (smile)

I sent off an email and it wouldn't deliver to a few of the addresses--my guess is either their mailboxes are full (unlike their brains or hearts) or they have disabled them due to volumes of mail.

Junie Girl --

I grew up in MS. There's not a whole lot of openly gay people in our state, let alone in/near Itawamba. I would be really surprised if there were any openly gay adults living in/around Itawamba. No I am not exaggerating.

I am going to send Dan an email in a minute with my concerns about efforts to have a "private prom" for Constance. Not that it shouldn't be done, but it might be a dangerous proposition. You think I'm kidding. . . .I am not. I have witnessed openly homophobic bigotry and HATE CRIMES in Mississippi against LGBTQ folks. It is not against the law to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation AND the courts here have repeatedly ruled against LGBTQ people. For example, there was a recent law case where a divorced woman lost her child custody/parental rights to her ex-husband, a man who had a substance abuse problem and previous criminal convictions, because the divorced woman was outed as a lesbian. This was affirmed by the Supreme Court of Mississippi - that "homosexuality" could be damaging to children and thus the husband was afforded all custodial rights with none to the wife.

I'm not kidding.

It's scary.

It's sad.

Thank god I've escaped it.

@ 31 - You read my mind!!

:-D

Not saying its legit, but mind as well send all her facebook friends a polite note too.

Anyone else notice that Ms. McNeece is single, and likes umpiring softball?

Anyone want to lay odds she's closeted?

Just took her to task in a Facebook message. Probably won't make a difference, but it made me feel better. This whole situation is just despicable.

I just sent her this letter, it may not convey my anger completely, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to have a plea to her emotions thrown into the mix...

Subject: From a future educator to a current one...

Dear Ms. McNeece,

As an education major and future educator myself, one of my primary goals as a teacher will be to provide support for my students, and give them all the tools they need to succeed. I'd imagine this is the hope of most teachers, and most will do everything they can to achieve that.

I can't say for certain what your motivations were when entering your chosen field, but surely upon close examination, you have to admit that through your recent actions you've strayed from your ideals. Surely those ideals were not to persecute an individual, no matter how much you disagreed with them. Surely those ideals were not to punish an entire student body in a quest to subjugate a single member, no matter how obnoxious you may have found them.

Perhaps you've already examined your motives, and maybe you fear you've gone too far down this road to turn back now, that you'd be made to look like a fool. I'd pray you'd reconsider your course of actions, because believe it or not, it's not too late for you to make a positive impact on these students lives. All any GLBT students or their supporters want is acceptance, whatever tiny bit one can provide them. To turn around and offer them love and tolerance would be an incredibly meaningful moment for them, for us, and I'm positive you'll find that by granting them that acceptance now, you'll receive acceptance in return.

Please, reinstate the prom, and allow everyone to attend, be they gay or straight, black or white. Live up to ideals worthy of a true educator. I promise, it's not too late.

Sincerely,
David Hulford, from Media, Pennsylvania

@35 - I honestly echo your concerns re: potential for violence. I live in Louisiana, and while I'm in a fairly cosmopolitan city (Baton Rouge), I've seen blatant and open discrimination against GLBTQ people, too. In a rural region, it wouldn't take much to assemble the rednecks from several small towns to go out and cause troubles at such an event, and have the local law look the other way. Like Mississippi, Louisiana has no laws on the books protecting people from discrimination or violence on the basis of sexual orientation - beyond any protections afforded by federal hate crime legislation.

Like you, I'm not saying such an event shouldn't happen, just that security needs to be a real concern.

And I did send my e-mails. Like I said before, I'm done being quiet.

Just sent my two-cents to Teresa's Facebook account:

Superintendent, I realize you're trying to do the right thing by your students, but let me just say, in no uncertain terms, that what you are doing is wrong. Very, very wrong.

Constance McMillen just wants to go to prom with her girlfriend and have a good time, like every other senior in her high school. By canceling prom, you have unwittingly made her the object of scorn, ridicule, and perhaps even violence in the weeks and months to come.

Is it really worth all this to stop one high schooler from pursuing a life style you might not agree with? Has Ms. McMillen broken any laws? Has she willfully attempted to disrupt the educational process at her school? The answer is no. The only ones guilty of disrupting anything is you and your school board.

I do realize that you are trying to do what you believe is right, but look closely at the fruit of what you have sown. Does it look right to you?

There's still time to make amends. Bring back the prom. Let Constance and her girlfriend attend and celebrate with the rest of their classmates, as is their right. Only then can we say that you have truly done your job.

Yours in all sincerity,
Zachary Green

BTW, that profile pic of hers: uber-creepy.

@9- Can't possible get lower than you and your ilk. Hate and fear are pretty poor values, LC, but they seem to be all you've got.

@9

Loveschild, just answer me this one question. Do you think this girl deserves to be treated this way by her peers?

Just answer that one question - please. It's important to me.

Did you also get the other two board members' Facebook pages? I cross referenced their email addresses and found Tony Wallace and Eddie Hood.

http://tinyurl.com/yaamw8x Tony Wallace

http://tinyurl.com/ybhxrj8 Eddie Hood

I just sent her a facebook message telling her she's a bad, bad person with evil in her heart. It made my day. >:)

Emma Lee @35-

That's horrible! Maybe instead some other school that is LGBT friendly can offer to transfer her so she'll be safe.

I guess it makes more sense why so many people stay in the closet till they can move away. Sad, sad, sad.

Just sent:

To Superintendent McNeece and members of the Itawamba County School District:

I am an Australian citizen of American descent. My father is an American citizen, as are numerous uncles, cousins, and other extended family. So when somebody brings the nation of the United States of America into international disrepute, it affects me. It affects all of us. Much less, however, than it affects the young people involved.

Your actions in trying to prevent Constance McMillen from attending her senior prom with her girlfriend have violated her rights as an American citizen, and your attempt to call for a privately-hosted prom in order to allow her exclusion is no less than a thinly-veiled attempt to subvert civil rights protections. This sort of behavior is abhorrent to every principle America is founded on. You have created a dangerous situation for Constance by blaming her for your decision to cancel the prom - an event her entire class has, no doubt, been looking forward to for years. It is your bigotry at fault for canceling the prom, not this young woman, and you are only causing further harm to the young minds you are supposed to be responsible for educating by promoting your out-dated prejudices.

You are teaching the students in your district that personal opinions are more important than constitutional rights. You are teaching them that the law is something to be twisted and subverted if it doesn't suit. You are teaching them that due process is inconvenient, and that people are better to suppress minorities than to try to understand them. You are teaching your students to hide who they are and suppress their individuality. Worst of all, you are telling the whole world (and this has garnered significant international attention) that these are the things which America values.

I hope you see the error you are making, and reverse this decision. This is your chance to teach your students a real and valuable lesson. Teach them to accept criticism, and admit when they are wrong. Teach them to improve themselves, and help them to be tolerant and free Americans. Teach them to understand that society grows, and that people can grow alongside it; teach them to embrace freedom and individuality, and to hold civil rights, and the Constitution of the United States of America, in the highest regard.

If you feel having two girls show up at prom together is too high a cost for all this, then I suppose there's nothing left to be said. Whatever the outcome, the world is watching.

@22:

Liking "country music" is no guaranteer of anything. 30 years ago, when I DJ'ed on a C&W AM radio station, I'd get five or six complaint calls for playing a Nick Lowe tune ("Cruel To Be Kind"), but not a peep for playing The Rolling Stones ("Far Away Eyes").

So long as it's got steel guitar somewhere in it, most of these rubes couldn't tell "shit from shinola" as my late grandpa used to say.

@35:

I don't think anyone here on SLOG would discount your concerns, because I think most of us consider them totally justified - the reaction of the school board alone would seem to corroborate that. But, at the same time someone HAS to take a stand. This young woman, whether that was her original intention or not, has drawn her foot across the sand and all we can do from a distance is let her know that she's not alone, that there are people out there who support her, AND let TPTB where she lives know they can't get away with this kind of bullshit and think nobody will notice.

I presume she (or someone on her side) went to the ACLU, otherwise, we probably never would have heard about this in the first place. She's put herself out there on the edge, and it's incumbent upon those of us who agree with her position to make it known, in no uncertain terms, that we're going to do whatever we can, given our limited scope and geographic distance, to watch her back.

Granted, most of us can't jump in a car or on a train or plane and be there in person, but at the same time, the school board members, principal and residents of Itawamba County at least have to recognize (if even only begrudgingly) that they can't continue to pursue this bigoted, discriminatory policy in isolation.

The Whole World Is Watching - And We've Got Your Phone Numbers And Email Addresses AND MUCH BETTER ACCESS TO THE MEDIA.

well, 48, your letter beats mine. But here it is anyways:

Ms McNeece,

I am aware this is not the first letter you are receiving on the subject, and I pray it shall not be the last. As an educator, as a woman, and as a human being, you should be ashamed of your actions. Constance is one of your students, her personal and emotional development is under your care. You have left scars that shall not fade come graduation day. What is even worse, you have torn a girl apart from a community she values.
Your number one reason for doing so is that her - peaceful - presence at the Prom would cause a disturbance. I am willing to believe this is not so, however, for the sake of argument, let us suppose that a certain small number of students would be offended by the presence of a same-sex couple. This is certainly something to worry about. Those students must be informed that Constance and her girlfriend are equal under the law and are just as deserving of Prom as their heterosexual class mates. Do not presume I am being facetious, this would have been - should have been - the due course of action. This could have been your chance to go down as one of the great women in the history of the southern United States, one such as Rosa Parks or Coretta Scott King, because as much as it must pain you to realize this, these issues are equitable. There was once a time in Mississippi where Prom would have been canceled if a mixed race couple had dared to show up together. Imagine the national outrage had you canceled the event for such a reason. I presume you do not have to imagine very hard.

Sincerely,
Fanny Dvorkin
10003 New York, NY

My letter just said:

"I am sure you are receiving a lot of mail concerning the prom story, so I'll keep this brief. Barring homosexual students from attending the prom is discrimination, and cancelling the prom is scapegoating. You know what the right thing to do here is. So do it. "

Anyone know Charlaine Harris? Maybe she'd be interested in sponsoring a prom to help the marginalized in the South.

I grew up in South Florida and one of our GLBT teen groups had a yearly prom for the very reason that many kids may not feel safe going to their own. I really want to send these people letters, but I am so full of disdain and disgust for these "people" that I don't know if what I want to say will come off as anything more than hatred and utter sadness that these things still exist. If I manage to find a nice way to convey my thoughts, I'll be sure to post it here. But I'm so glad everyone else is doing what they are.

I think some reverse discrimination is in order. Why are people who are openly christian w their supposed "christian values" teaching our children in public schools w public funds? Lets put an end to this outrage!

I must say I can't muster up much sympathy for the other students being denied their prom. The school board does something this egregious and they just accept it, obediently blaming the innocent student? Hopefully they will realize in the next couple of days that if they mobilize behind Constance and demand a prom for everyone through rallies and walkouts, it can work out happily for everyone except the bigots running the place.

Thank you for sharing this appalling story!
My message to the superintendent:
How DARE you cancel prom for all of your students based on the choice of one and how DARE you ostracize and single her out for one aspect of her life! You have created and fostered an environment of hate and bigotry in an age of expanding tolerance and acceptance. A man brought another man to my school's homecoming d...ance in 1995 and was not only applauded, but he was also one of the most beloved stars of the schools academic and art programs! Please come into the 21st century, show yourself as a leader and reinstate the prom. YOU and your board members are the ONLY ones making a "distraction" regarding this situation. Please lead by example and teach your students the first rule of civil liberty: unity.