Comments

1
Best asterisk yet.
2
*Especially pit bulls.
3
I lol'd.
4
People "celebrate" Earth Day? I haven't celebrated one yet, and I've very much been around for all 40 of 'em.
5
I am boycotting Earth Day in protest until Pluto has equal civil rights.
6
I am boycotting Sonoma County wines and celebrating Earth Day with my peeps.
7
You still have Peeps left over from Easter, Will? Better hurry up and eat them before they go stale.
8
@7: wait... they go stale?!

Thought they were like Twinkies, you can stock them up in case someone goes crazy with the nukes.
9
That's a masterful piñata.
10
@8 - I think they have a half-life of like 20 years.
11
Naw, I've had 'em get all hard and shit. Admittedly, it took longer than a month.
12
I made sure to put the porn ads on the inside layer so the kids will have an extra treat when she busts open.
13
@ 5 - No one is a planet until we are ALL planets.

14
i hope doug is coming to earth day free day...
15
@13: If Pluto really wants to be a planet, it'll clear all of the space debris out of its path and dominate its orbit. That's how "planet" has always been defined: one major spherical celestial body, one orbit around a star. But Pluto has to continue the immoral and disgusting practice of not having enough gravity to clear asteroids out of its space.
We can't make exceptions to the traditional definition of being a planet just for Pluto, you know. If we let Pluto be a planet, what's next? Making Ceres a planet? Expanding the definition of "planet" to fit Kuiper Belt Objects? Letting comets into the club? It'll be the end of astronomy's culture and integrity as we know it. We'd be SKIPPING, SKIPPING, SKIPPING to the Big Crunch!
In fact, God doesn't want Pluto to be a planet. I quote Exodus 1:14. "And God said, ‘Let there be lights in the dome of the sky to separate the day from the night; and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years"
If God wanted Pluto to be a planet, He would have made Pluto a planet 6000 years ago!
The bottom line is that God and nature have made Pluto not a planet, and we'd be going against the entire order of the universe if we tried to say otherwise. Pluto can be a Dwarf Planet if it wants to.
16
So how will we make pinatas out of old ebooks?
17
We'll get some pirates to pilfer the pinatas and pub them for ebooks pronto.
18
I do not like it Uncle Sam,
I do not like it Sam I am.
I do not like these dirty crooks,
neither how they cook the books.
I do not like when Congress steals,
I do not like their secret deals.
I do not like the speaker Nan.
I do not like this 'YES WE CAN'.
I do not like this kind of 'hope',
I do not like it, nope, nope... nope!

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