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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
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Her Mom and I just use "bits" as a gender-neutral catchall for genitalia.
Cooch is cute. Cooch is your buddy. Cooch buys rounds of drinks for the gang.
Yep. Go with "cooch".
I find no palatable word for what i have, everything does seem like a word a cheseball would use. Granted, I prefer the word "wang" when discussing the penis, so maybe we could just start fresh for everyone.
"Vag" with a soft g?
"Pussy" is creepy? Never thought of the word that way, but as a gay man, maybe the actual item being referenced a little.
How about picking something in a foreign language? What's Spanish or French for "twat"? "La twah" or "La twatta"? Italian, perhaps?
"Minge" comes to mind too, but I think because to me it sounds like half of a bad sitcom duo, like "Mork and Mindy" -- "Mark and Minge-y" or something.
Just some random sober thoughts.
But then, I'm the kind of girl who makes bleeding-axe-wound type of jokes.
Seriously. Vaclabia sounds like a percussion instrument. I'd sooner refer to it as 'stink factory' than vaclabia. Good for them for not giggling like morons when they say it. They just sound asinine.
You can take my 'cunt' when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands. God yes I hope I've offended someone.
But, Cunny! That sounds sweet, and beguiling! Cunning + Honey. Delightful!
Maybe some nice food-words would work?
NOT CANNED HAM.
Cooch is cute, I guess. I tend to use pussy and don't see why it would be creepy. My sister also uses yoni with her little daughter - that strikes me as a little New Agey, but not bad if you want a non-sexual nickname.
Another I just remembered: "pussy" en español is "coño," pronounced like "cone-yo." Also not bad.
which, no. not me.
Anyway, this all reminds me of this.
I grok the original wish -- a quick, positive over toned slang term for vagina. Bits comes closest, I think, but it's gender neutral and I'd like to see a positive work for vagina specifically.
Vajajay is simple stupid, and is way too close to vajazzling, both of which are current pop culture referents I could have lived my entire life without ever encountering.
I've always kind of liked snatch & muff, but there may be connotations with those words I'm unaware of. I know ppl who try to reclaim cunt, but I'm inclined to toss that one in the bin nearest n***** as pretty much unredeemable.
I don't think pussy is sinister, but I don't find it all that appealing.
I've come across yoni before (derived from another language) but it's fairly neutral for me. So, I haven't got good alternatives either.
How about "cooter"?
Google says "puki" in Filipino, "cony" in Catalan. Those are pretty good.
peach?plum?
I get turned on eating figs cuz they're so freaking sexual.
could i talk about my "lil figgy"?
I dunno, as an adult woman, I have no problem using pussy in intimate conversations. I believe my best friend calls it a "chatch." I've never been fond of that. But I tend to want to slap people who call it a "hoohoo" rather violently.
@7
"Don't trust anything that bleeds for four days and doesn't die."
I also like to say she "bleeds like a stuck pig".
It kind of stuck in my head.
"junk"
"You're such a cunt" = Rude, vulgar objectifying and misogynistic.
"I love your cunt" = Rude, vulgar and hot! (Fun to say too)
Shouldn't you?
http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archive…
Personally, I vote for conchita.
And I agree that vaclabia is just awful.
Now I must hie my cunny and the rest of my bodkin into yon bedroom forsooth, for my vestments need refreshing.
Thanks. I needed that.
I like vulva and nibbly bits.
COCKPIT works, it's fun to say and it's as apropos as anything. But wait, they're lesbo's, they don't like cock, you say. Yes, but they do like strap-on cock, at least they do in all the hot lesbo porn I see. Plus, think of the irony in lesbo's saying to each other "yeah, baby, rub your dirty litle face in my hot, wet STRAP-ON-COCKPIT", or just "COCKPIT" for short.
Go ahead, say it out loud; COCKPIT, COCKPIT, COCKPIT. Now say it in the dirtiest voice you use with your lover "eat my COCKPIT, Mary" or "Mary, you love it when I grind my COCKPIT in your face".
COCKPIT, it's a sure winner, ladies.
"Rosebud."
It's a vulva. That's the name. It's a great name, too, it's lovely.
My mother didn't have a name for that area; we grew up referring to it (though rarely) as "crotch" - but that's ugly and harsh and unspecific. My kids are growing up knowing the names of their bits and boy's bits too. (Which made my mother uncomfortable when my potty-learning toddler talked about her vulva.)
In the lesbian movie “Go Fish” from 1994, they voted for honeypot. Also good. You guys should watch it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Go_Fish_%28…
Which is actually my point. No matter what you call it someone is either going to laugh or be upset, so you have a choice of embracing one of the existing terms or come up with one that's just between the two of you and don't tell anyone else what it is.
I'm OK with snatch, box, or twat. I've never liked "pussy", much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgEXRKIZR…
PUSSY KUSH!
Lately I've been partial to "cunt". I think that one is reclaimable, both as a positive and a negative. I've taken to calling women cunts where I might call a man a dick, as extreme examples of the worst assumptions about their gender. "Cunt", like "dick", feels to me like the most neutral, generic word for genitalia, and it's the word I use most often when I'm thinking of my own. The word "cooch" works as a slangier alternative. "Hoo-ha" is goofy but it works in an ironic way.
Bad words for "down there": "pussy" is played out thanks to bad porn. It sounds childish and sleazy. "Twat" is childish, ignorant and fearful, and it sounds too much like "plop". The new-ish "vadge" or "vag" would be fine if it didn't derive from the dread "vagina", see above. "Vajayjay" is just idiotic.
I VANT to SUCK your DICK! Luk into mah sliiiiiit!
I don't think it would be a workable solution in the sense of what the LW wanted (she doesn't want a metaphor -- actually, metonymy (actually, synecdoche) -- but a new word altogether). But I kinda like it. :-)
The hubby and I usually use penis or cock, but it's more a term of endearment rather than clinical: Ooh, nice penis! Or, Ooh -- peeeeeenis. (Said while pointing and smiling as one walks naked across the room.)
Otherwise, it's usually cock, or (rarely) dick. I suppose it's not super imaginative, but hey, it works for us.
But I had kind of forgotten about some other fun ones like cooch, cunny, and punani. Fun thread!
Have to agree with almost everyone here that vaclabia combines the words I already like the least, making them even worse. But it's clearly a very personal matter, and should be!
At my house we invent new words for my love's personal parts all the time:
pussoir
minou (I think I got that from French, actually)
mimsy
special flower
secret garden
..being the top faves we use. Although she does like cunny too. (Me not so much). Cunt, or the more vulgar 'hole' for our hot, dark, dirty times.
There is a ban on food-words though! Save for 'cookie' once in awhile.
I like 'vagine' too, with a french-accent on '-gine'.
Others from other languages:
yoni (from Sanskrit, the male part being the Lingam )
punani (Jamaican)
chatte (French)
At a girls summer camp the campers chose the term "power bundle" as their favorite to refer to the whole vulva. I like "lady bits" or, when I'm feeling goofy, "lady garden." While getting down and dirty "cunt" is the only alternative.
My antipathy towards "vaclabia" stems from the complete inclusion of "labia" in the term. I don't like acronyms that use an entire word, even if you're declaring that the L comes from "CLitoris" and you're really only taking "abia" from labia.
Also, the weird issue w/ "labia" being plural but "clitoris" and "vagina" being singular.
@60, cockpit is a stupid name. That's like saying women's vaginas have one purpose: pleasing males. Way to miss the point, jackass.
As for alternatives, any of the Stranger's own "rename the vagina" entries are better, but my personal favorite has always been "Señorita Wences"
http://slog.thestranger.com/2005/12/re_t…
@8: Killing me!
@33: Though "plotte" is totally deprecating, it can be very useful. Like Celine Dion, it's one of Quebec's great gifts to North American culture.
@56: "Poonie" sounds like an animated Disney sidekick. I wish it were.
@80: Also killing me.
Lady Garden is excellent, but I just can't imagine saying it.
Vaclavia reminds me of baclava, auto clave, Count Chocula, a country in the Balkans, some sort of horrific surgical procedure, and a glockenspiel-type instrument: no way would I ever use it for my simple little vagine.
I don't know what I say if I'm not talking to my kids (vagina, although, yes, I know it's a vulva I'm often talking about), doctor (vagina again), or sex partner (cunt: there's nothing like it for feeling dirty and sexy. The hard "c" like in "cock" is perfect, and there's a whiff of earthiness to it, too). Alright, I also like slit, hole, and snatch when I'm in the sex-fog.
Pussy bugs. Always has. Though I say it on occasion when I'm talking to a lover but not in the throes of sex.
But, jeez, Ankylosaur, could you have made my crush any deeper? Not only do you casually throw around Russian words, you put them here in Cyrillic. I'm one smitten kitten.
Kitty isn't bad. I think it is the K initial [Cock, Cunt, Cunny] as opposed to the plosive Penis or Pussy.
Yoni is from Sanskrit, and Lingam is the male counterpart.
Pudendum, while having an erudite air is not acceptable: "that whereof one ought to feel shame". From the same root as impudent.
The essential issue is that the words [apart from there phonic appeals] pick up the connotation. So just as we cycle through words for minorities [I love _white_ folks that try to avoid referoing to anyone as "black"], lady-bits will tend to proliferate unsatisfying words as long as they are culturaly held to be weak, passive, lesser, &c.
And for anybody moaning that we give words too much power: that is not how it works. We are built to respond to the nuanced, enculturated content of words.
Meat curtains or piss flaps, if as someone said you never want to see one again.
I like cunt (boy do I). A powerful sounding word (would you rather be a whiny little bitch or a real cunt if you had to choose), it supposedly shares it's origin with cunning, kin, country, county and so on.
It also sounds like it can take a good pounding. Kitty is okay when women say it (but too passive) while a cunt has demands to make: it wants what it wants.