"Are you guys in that paper that much of a big fucking idiot you can't get your story straight?" - The Stranger | Comments

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Comments

1

last time I checked I live in this state and I pay federal income tax.

ryanayr on December 15, 2011 at 1:55 PM

2

I'll keep this in mind for my 2011 federal income tax filing.

nseattlite on December 15, 2011 at 1:56 PM

3

I love fotrune cookies!

Scalpel on December 15, 2011 at 1:57 PM

4

Fotrune cookies are the best, filled with fot and runes. The runes make them magically delicious.

Donolectic on December 15, 2011 at 2:00 PM

5

I was going to say Bibles, but you specifically forbade communist propaganda.

tired and true on December 15, 2011 at 2:01 PM

6

It would be super-sweet if every paper copy of The Stranger came with a few freshly-printed 20s or 50s stuck in the middle.

Who needs offensive tobacco advertising??

PRINT MONEY PLS

merry on December 15, 2011 at 2:02 PM

7

Fotrune cookies give me the squirts but I can't stop eating them. That's how much of a big fucking idiot we are all up in here.

gloomy gus on December 15, 2011 at 2:03 PM

8

Property deeds to the untaxed nonprofits and foundations, assigning ownership rights to Seattle's homeless Citizens.

Also, I pay federal income tax, SS, medicare, even if my tax rate is 9.8 percent because the system is rigged for massive savers and investors. Not for US job-creating consumers or the US small businesses that create the jobs.

Will in Seattle on December 15, 2011 at 2:04 PM

9

Fortune cookies, please!

care bear on December 15, 2011 at 2:09 PM

10

I'm hoping that by the new year, we poor of this country will rebuke the dollar in favor of exchanging wooden dowels for goods and services.

But if that doesn't happen, you should definitely start printing money.

Allyn on December 15, 2011 at 2:15 PM

11

This makes me want to call the Stranger offices and leave an incoherent complaint on their voicemail.

MacCrocodile on December 15, 2011 at 2:17 PM

12

@10, let me guess, you have a house full of wooden dowels?

Fnarf on December 15, 2011 at 2:21 PM

13

ryanayr, you think you paid income tax because you are stoned. stop trying to think, go make a rice krispie burrito.

modrachlan srarmons on December 15, 2011 at 2:25 PM

14

Circulars with discount coupons for gentlemen's clubs.

Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on December 15, 2011 at 2:25 PM

15

@1: "last time I checked I live in this state and I pay federal income tax."

Yeah, dude is either really stupid or too rich to sully himself with what the commoners do every April.

undead ayn rand on December 15, 2011 at 2:28 PM

16

If you do start printing fortune cookies, please go back to printing actual fortunes, instead of advice or observations. I don't need to know that I should listen to my heart or hear about priceless children-smiles. I want some good old fashioned "You will meet a dark stranger after a long journey" cookies.

Jen in Madison on December 15, 2011 at 2:29 PM

17

@10: "I'm hoping that by the new year, we poor of this country will rebuke the dollar in favor of exchanging wooden dowels for goods and services."

Reminds me of the conservative politician who said the solution to our health care crisis was that "like in her day" the poor should just give a doctor ten eggs and a chicken for their services.

undead ayn rand on December 15, 2011 at 2:39 PM

18

I can't stop thinking about Rice Krispie Burritos.

SweetDarkLord on December 15, 2011 at 2:50 PM

19

Chocolate fortune cookies please.

Simone on December 15, 2011 at 2:50 PM

20

@15 - or he hasn't ever had an income and doesn't know any better.

@13 - Ummm, I'm gluten intolerant and vegan, sooooo, yeah, a Rice Krispie burrito isn't going to work for me. Instead, I think I will make an all-vegan rice-Krispie fajita using quinoa-based tortillas, and a yummy zuchinni, squash and lentil fillings, seasoned with saffron. The Rice Krispies will add a great texture to the fajitas in this seasonal delight, while I smoke Salvia out of a bong with a blowtorch I made out of a broken propane lantern. Thanks for the tip!

ryanayr on December 15, 2011 at 2:51 PM

21

@12 Shit. No. Guess I'd still be poor.

I've got plastic spoons, though. That'd buy me a pack of TP, wouldn't it?

Allyn on December 15, 2011 at 2:56 PM

22

@21 - use the plastic spoons as toilet paper. Take out the middle man.

ryanayr on December 15, 2011 at 3:02 PM

23

Had to go with:

"Fotrune cookie fortunes" - Not sure what a fotrune is but I am sure that it is mighty tasty!

Senor Guy on December 15, 2011 at 3:33 PM

24

fuckin A bibles!!! great for cocealing liquor or guns (cutouts). best kindling too!

masgroovy on December 15, 2011 at 3:51 PM

25

I had some fortune cookies laying around and last night when I got home from my 20 mile bike ride I opened one up and it said "You need to improve your exercise routine."

WTF? That's the worst fortune ever. Not only is it bitchy, I just had a very nice bit of exercise that I do consistently. And it doesn't sound cool with "...in bed." on the end. What a crappy fortune.

dwightmoodyforgetsthings on December 15, 2011 at 4:31 PM

26

fools like this wouldn't know propaganda if fox news was fucking them in the ass with it 24-hours per day--AND IT IS.

Adrian Ryan on December 15, 2011 at 5:02 PM

27

If you guys had compostable "plastic" spoons, you could totally compost them after using them for rollers.

But then, that's what we do in real places.

You take the toilet paper out of the SPD bathrooms.

Will in Seattle on December 15, 2011 at 5:04 PM

28

That whole Tax the Rich argument is sooooo 2010. Here it is over a year later, and we've already moved past Eat the Rich and onto Smelt the Rich.

Do you clean out your voice mail every fourscore years or is that how often the caller cleans out the complaint file?

stating the obvious on December 15, 2011 at 5:19 PM

29

Fortune cookies. And all of them should say either "You will find happiness with a new love" or "Stick with your wife."

rhymeswithlibrarian on December 15, 2011 at 6:07 PM

30

COMMUNIST PROPAGANDA

Zebes on December 15, 2011 at 7:52 PM

31

I just can't get past "you seriously have some serious issues". that's a really great line. which I why I voted for the 5th option. hoping his kick-off column is titled something along the lines of "You Fucking Fuckers Are Fucked Up! (Make Me A Sandwich)'

LEE. on December 15, 2011 at 7:55 PM

32

Yes, I was reading your article at The Stranger

I'm sure they were glad you stopped by, but it really wasn't necessary. They have it on the Internet, and they also print up a bunch of them and leave them all around town, so you can get your own (it's free!) to take home and read there.

Fred Casely on December 15, 2011 at 9:08 PM

33

I'm glad so many of you want the Stranger to print fortunes, if they printed money, we'd end up with in flation and no one would be happy about it. (As opposed to now, of course. )ll

treacle on December 15, 2011 at 9:38 PM

34

actually i think you guys should have a page dedicated to the best criticisms of this sort, every week. this one in the "From Dad" bin. "grow up, stoners!"

aardvark on December 16, 2011 at 10:01 AM

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