Credit where credit is due.
This is probably going to help sway public opinion our way. The Republicans are going to make a big deal out of how Obama wants to let queer foreigners into the country, and America at large will get another taste of how batshit insane today's conservatives are.

Evil government policies aside, if Terry and DJ would truly become impoverished in the event of your death, have you considered life insurance?

You had me with "tax bill." Um... with any luck, marriage equality will be a reality in WA in the near future, so your (then legal) husband will be able to take advantage of the state spousal tax deferral on your estate in excess of $2,000,000. (The first 2 mill isn't even taxed at all, so there's that... chump change, right?). If you're talking about federal taxes, woe is you to be so unlucky as to die with more than $5,000,000 in assets. Of course, I may be a little off on the numbers, but it's certainly not very progressive to whine about a tax that, in any case, only the 1% need to think about.

Ugh, really? Ugh! Ugh, I can't believe it, ugh. Letting queer couples only fill out one set of custom forms is clearly taking jobs away from straight, Christian Customs officials who will have that much less work to do, while also creating a surplus of un-filled-out forms, which is government waste. Thanks a lot, gay dudes.

Countdown until some HRC apologist complains about gays who like, won't stop complaining until they're UNoppressed instead of "just mostly" oppressed.

This will surely destroy the sanctity of traditional customs procedures as they've existed for millenia.

You should invest in a better estate planning service.

how on earth would "Terry be impoverished" and risk losing the house you share? This simply is a right wing talking point Dan.

Taxes on death only apply above multiple millions, regardless of whether or not your married or not. If you're not paying off your house with the kind of money you're bringing in you're doing it wrong.

I get that having full marriage rights is the only acceptable final outcome, but seriously, this comment is bullshit. With decent planning, which you can afford, Terry will be a widow(er?) but money would not be one of his problems.

You know, this is an example of real hypocrisy. Dan, you're doing extremely well in life, be thankful, and:

a) do some estate planning if need be
b) find another way to beat the drum for gay marriage, cuz this one doesn't cut it.

My own left wing view is the cutoff should be much lower for an estate tax phase in with a carve out for farms and other truly land/fixed capital intense.

My same-sex partner and I, who live together, have done this several times before, (both of us on one customs form.) But we were never sure if we supposed to or not. We didn't get too much hassle from the customs agents here in Seattle, they just verified that we live together - they didn't ask us to go back and fill out separate forms.

Now that I know we were breaking the rules I'm glad they're changing them.

...Perhaps Dan isn't talking about himself but those who live on old-age pensions and security checks and when one half of the partnership dies, the living half can no longer afford to live because of loss of income. I'm sure Dan has taken care of his responsibilities.

However I find it funny/fucking sad that Canada is working towards making prositiution legal (despite the right wing cock-suckers destroying our country in power right now) while the US is still debating marriage equality. This is something that should have been done YEARS ago!!

My (now) wife and I always filled out one customs form from the time we "resided in the same household" (some three years before we were actually married.) No one ever challenged us on it. I guess they just assumed we were opposite-married.

I had assumed they didn't want to do any more paperwork than necessary.

Seems that hyperbole is wasted on at least a few commenters. But the point remains that survivor SS benefits are something that hetero married couples can plan on, and we homos can't.

Everyone getting on Dan's case about hyperbole and proper estate planning are ignoring the fact that (a) gay couples have to pay a lot more in estate planning than straight couples because of certain things that occur automatically for married couples, and (b) no amount of estate planning can get around certain laws.

In California, under Prop 13, property values (and consequent taxes) get reassessed when ownership changes. It doesn't affect a married couple when one partner dies and the other partner inherits everything. It DOES affect unmarried couples when one does and the other automatically inherits through joint tenancy. (I believe this may have recently changed to allow civil union partners to be treated the same, but if so, that's recent.) Terry can't inherit Dan's social security, period, though I think DJ might be able to receive payments until he's 18. Dan's 401K will be taxed differently than if Terry was legally married to him -- and if that marriage was recognized by the federal government. If Terry is presumably on Dan's health insurance, they're already being taxed for that -- a tax they wouldn't face if they were legally married AND of the opposite sex (it's a federal tax).

Washington State's impending same sex marriages (I believe, if it makes it to the ballot, that WA voters will uphold the right) is absolutely great, but it's impact is small compared to the federal benefits withheld. Judging from my gay friends legally married in California, it's a lot more expensive to be gay married than straight married, what with all the extra hoops required. (Like filling out your taxes as married for feds so that you can complete your state taxes, and then redoing it as single for the feds. Accountants change same sex married couples a lot more than opposite sex married couples.

One of my best friends ("Tom") and his partner ("Dick") did everything they could legally do to protect their assets. Dick not only didn't include his sisters in his will but he excluded them by name. They never came to visit him in the hospital during his final weeks, despite his pleas to the contrary.

After Dick died, while Tom was out, his sisters showed up and had the locks on their condo changed. Tom lost everything, including the dog they shared.

This was a few years ago, in Georgia. All it takes is one bureaucrat who hates the fags to fuck up everything you've put into place. Full marriage equality is the only way. Anything else, and you're just rolling the dice hoping things will work out your way.

@16 The scenario you descibe is precisely why my husband and I are moving to a marriage equality state when I retire in two years.

My partner and I went on a recent trip to Canada.

When we arrived in Canada, the nice Canadian customs officials recognized that we were together, and invited me up to go through customs with my partner.

When we returned from Canada, we both stepped up to the US customs counter together, and were rudely chewed out by the customs agent, despite us being legally registered domestic partners.

Everything-but-marriage is not the same as marriage.

Oh man, rich gays getting screwed over by those homophobic taxes. We should totally devote a whole movement to helping you out, Dan.

Today's SLOG lesson: it's ok to discriminate against fags as long as they're rich fags.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Hey Dan, in the meanwhile, buy a big fat life insurance policy with Terry and DJ as beneficiaries. You're welcome.

My partner and I always fill out 1 form, and usually there is no issue. One time at LAX I was asked to leave the customs counter and go fill out my own separate form and then get in the back of the line because the agent wanted to stress that my partner was not my family. It was a little disheartening.

So now I only have 1099 more rights than gay couples? This is getting stiffling. I am going to have to create some other obstacle for you all or my straight marriage may fail. (sarcasm - I know.. I may not have needed to 'splain, but I don't the hate today).

*don't need the hate today

Can't you just hand Terry a fat wad of cash while you're still alive? Then he can put it in the bank, invest it, or do whatever the hell he wants with it. PROBLEM SOLVED. You're welcome.

Social Security survivor's benefits = must have marriage equality or changes in federal law recognizing civil partnerships. Current situation is totally unfair, no workaround.

Tax bill on property you "share" means lose the home = Dan exaggerates or is ignorant. SS couples shouldn't have to jump through hoops -- but middle class couples can. The inheritance laws bite poor SS couples, but wealthier couples can use estate planning and joint ownership to keep the home you live in and often many more assets.

Don't rely on wills (siblings can dispute) -- structure the joint ownership of assets NOW. Same-sex divorce is harder without access to the courts but not as hard as a destitute partner who got screwed by probate court.

Tax bill on future royalties or retirement accounts = harder to shield against, again, marriage equality would solve this but few work arounds. Wealthier people can look into large lump-sum universal life insurance, also if you planned to give it to charity anyway you can pre-arrange for a 401(k) to go on your death to a charity like a university that guarantees a % annuity payout each year to surviving domestic partner until that partner dies, so no large lump sum tax bill, just the annual taxes you'd have anyway on distributions.

Dan,

It does sound like you need some estate planning. Talk to an attorney (if you haven't and this isn't just hyperbololole)
about having Terry and you own the house as tenants in the entirety or as joint (heh) tenants with right of survivorship. Don't know Washington law but I think one of these forms is avaialable. This is a way for the ownership to be able to pass to Terry without any transfer in ownership. It would be as if you never existed! Practice relaxing more while you fight the good fight. I'm so happy about the MTV show. It will really help tons of kids (and some adults.)

@15 Also, obviously the Federal Government should not treat same-sex spouse health benefits as taxable. Another tangible loss brought to you by DOMA

In the meantime, however, make the Stranger gross-up salary and wages for its impacted gay employees. All employers should be doing this, and then be screaming bloody murder at the IRS for having to do it in the first place.

Don't count on it, Dan. I am married to another man here in Canada, where marriage equality has been legal for years. Last time we were reentering Canada from a vacation in the US, we filled in a single customs card like any other married couple (we were so happy to be able to do this, as the US wouldn't allow us to enter that way). As soon as the agent looked at the card and then back at us, we could tell we were in trouble. He stamped our card, but we were already marked for a "random" search. Before we exited, we were pulled aside. The customs agent swabbed our bags, and said the bags had been in contact with cocaine (neither my husband nor I have ever even seen the stuff in person). He proceeded to tear our bags apart, while trying to extort a confession from us to having ever possessed or used cocaine. We had bought wedding rings in the US (we were on our honeymoon from our legal marriage, but we were going to exchange rings at a social ceremony the next month), and as soon as he saw them, the cocaine issue was completely dropped (you'd think he'd want to find it if he actually suspected us). Even though they were duly declared, and even though we were legally married, he denied that it was credible that two men would have wedding rings. He charged us with illegally importing jewelry for sale (because we were clearly going to found a business with two rings), and entered a warning on our file that ensures we get searched every time we pass through customs now. Imagine how much less respect you'll get for your relationship under this squeemish, half-assed, don't ask don't tell regime that US customs are trying to implement. Declare separately.

Esperando: you may have a good and socially useful lawsuit on your hands. Please contact a Canadian gay rights org. You at least need to clear your record.

For my part, my husband of 7 years and I travel a lot, and we always fill out only one US customs form. Never had any issues in any country we've visited, either.

Dan, I agree with everyone else that's giving you shit about being overly dramatic. How 'bout some life insurance and a will? That was just a silly rant, even if it is true for other gay families that don't have the means that you most likely do.

Esperando, I'm going to echo BABH in encouraging you to sue. Start with the CCLU and they'll help direct you to the best organization to help with a lawsuit,

myr, Functional Atheist,

Life insurance is not available to many gay men and couples living with HIV. That many not be Dan or Terry's situation, but this makes the estate tax much more of a problem for us.

Without life insurance, there is simply no way for us to replace social security survivor benefits, at any cost.

If the estate tax reverts to estate above $1 million, one of us will likely lose our home in California when the other one dies. And this has nothing whatsoever to do with the house being paid off or not.

Wow, Esperando... add me to the list of people encouraging you to sue. And I'm sorry to read of your disheartening story. I hope the homophobic asshole who did this to you gets his.

catsnbanjos,
You haven't heard of the gift tax, have you ?
The gift tax rate after the exemption is 50% .

Kevin_BGFH,

There are no civil unions in California - there are domestic partnerships. Prop 13 applies to couples in domestic partners. But that may only be so if the home is community property.

My partner and I bought our home jointly before we filed for domestic partnership, as tenants in common 70/30%.

To now convert the home to community property, where we would have equal shares, would be seen by the IRS as a gift from me to my partner, which would eat into the $1 million lifetime gift tax exemption.