$32 worth of salt.

$32 worth of peppers and batteries.

A couple packages of razor blades.

Male enhancement products?

$32 worth of pepper spray, obviously.

I was standing in line at Lake Meridian Safeway last night and a customer literally saved that much with coupons...she was plunking down 50 centers like crazy! I joked that she could save for her retirement that way.

I have to admit I got a snicker out of someone pepper spraying security for once.

Hmm. So we've got misdemeanor theft (though use of a weapon may bump it up to felony theft), multiple 2nd degree assault charges (probably class B felony), resisting arrest, and assaulting an officer. Don't know if mace is considered a deadly weapon, up to the jury I suppose. But if it is that'd tack on another 6 months to a year per assault charge, which are already 3-9 months each. Assaulting an officer with a weapon will go poorly for him. Even worse if the idiot is already a convicted felon. Looks like maybe 3-5 years.

Over $32.

$32 worth of dragon dildos.

I played that bring-your-own-plastic-bag-then-walk-out game when I was 17 and pulled it off numerous times. Then I got caught once by Safeway loss prevention for not paying for my cheese-its and ice tea. Less than a $10 "theft" and I got a lecture about how I was the cause of inflation and some other bullshit about them threatening to throw me in jail. Needless to say, I paid for my cheese-its and ice tea from then on.

@9: Would those be dildos for dragons, or made of dragons, or merely dragon-shaped?

Oh hell, it doesn't matter. They all sound awesome.

So he threw a condiment at the officer, essentially.

Refreshing to see an apropriate (restrained, even!) use of force from the police. The guy is lucky not to have been shot after spraying a cop. I don't think many eyebrows would have been raised if the guy had ended up shot dead by a police officer, after a pepper-spray attack.

@8,

And, in my experience, seeing dumb teenage friends getting nabbed for shoplifting, most shoplifting punishments involve restitution and attending a class on how bad shoplifting is for society. Maybe some community service for a repeat offender.

@8,

Don't know if mace is considered a deadly weapon, up to the jury I suppose.

The answer is "probably not." RCW 9.94A.825 sets out the definitions of deadly weapons, which does include, "...any weapon containing poisonous or injurious gas." However, the statute states, "...a deadly weapon is an implement or instrument which has the capacity to inflict death and from the manner in which it is used, is likely to produce or may easily and readily produce death." Since chemical mace is generally considered a non-lethal weapon, a prosecutor would be unlikely to add an enhancement.

Worth noting that there are a number of items that are specifically cited as per se deadly weapons. So if you get into a bar fight, don't use a "dirk," "dagger," "blackjack," or "sand club." But a wooden baseball bat is fine.

@10 That's how it could have ended up for this guy, but noooooo. If foghorn leghorn is right, he'll have a long time to be kicking himself.

Obvs, didn't work out for that guy, but whatever store employed these security guards needs to get a new service. Rent-a-cops don't have authority to detain people, let alone tackle them to the ground.

@13 Deserved to be shot over $32?

Taser is supposed to be an alternative to deadly force. Would the police officer have had to have shot this guy if he hadn't had a taser? Is this a level of crime where procedures authorize the use of deadly force to bring down a fleeing suspect?

Let's be grateful the thief brought pepper spray rather than a gun or a knife. Also, well done by the police officer who nabbed the suspect after getting hit by pepper spray (even a small amount of that stuff is vicious). It is nice to have a reminder that police will not use deadly force even in the face of a dangerous (but not deadly) threat.

@17, Security guards are usually advised against getting physical, but they're within their rights as much as you are if someone is stealing your shit. If a security guard were to come up and punch you in the face for taking too long at the checkout with all your coupons, well that's a whole other story. But rob the place? They can beat you down and suffer no legal or employer consequences.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that quite a few of those "rent a cops" are actually real cops moonlighting as security. Those guys can shoot you.

If as an officer you need to bring a gun to a taser fight to win maybe you need to go back to police school. If we're going to be paying them to much money they should at least be able to win a taser v taser fight come the fuck on.