Comments

1
Um, SPOILER ALERT.
3
Wish the ticket taker at Ted had warned me that entire movie is an abortion.* Whammy!

*I haven't actually seen Ted, but their Axe body spray cross-promotion tells me what I need to know.
4
So, even if you believed that abortion is murder (spoiler alert: No it isn't!), wouldn't that also require a similar warning for all movies that feature murders? That would be a lot of warnings.
5
@2) Thank you. It was June 18. Fixed.
6
Does he mention that the "abortion" in question is to remove a freakish Alien precursor and not, say, a HUMAN baby? Also, spoiler alert, the "aborted" "fetus" doesn't actually die and goes on to produce the creatures who threaten humanity's entire future. Please show me how this in any way relates to our current political debate.
7
Wow. Spoiler police vs. anti-abortion nuts. This would be a hard call, if the anti-abortion nuts weren't, you know, opposed to treating women like fully functional human beings.

Also, what elganador said. "Pro-life," apparently, now applies irrespective of the fetus's species.
8
Oh jeez. Would this dude not support abortion even in the case of potential alien apocalypse AND the death of the mother? He sounds pretty awful.
9
Maybe if the pro-abortion liberals weren't in control, and if it hadn't been aborted, that alien wouldn't have tried to destroy humanity. EVER THINK OF THAT?
10
@7, Something tells me the employee walked out the moment he heard "abortion" and didn't see what it actually was. He was obviously extremely personally offended that a movie would even acknowledge abortion.
11
I'm actually really liking the idea of Alien as an abortion allegory. It would definitely explain why anti-choicers would hate it.
12
SPOILER ALERT: In this issue of the Stranger, Paul Constant warns us all that Grassroots turned out to be an abortion.
13
Maybe the abortion could be balanced out by some firearm deaths, that way the conservative christians could go home happy and fulfilled.
14
Wow. The dumbest thing is that it wasn't an abortion at all. It was a C-section.
15
You almost have to admire the convictions of this theater employee. By God, if you are pro-life it means you are pro-all life, regardless if it is an alien parasite eating its way out of a female body. But if it was in a male body, totally rip it out and kill it dead.
16
It sounds like the stupidity of the theater employee is rivaled only by the stupidity of Prometheus's script.
17
Too bad the employee who sold me a ticket to "the Passion of Christ" didn't warn me about all that damn S&M and torture porn shit.
But honestly I don't think the kid was doing anything other than trolling on about the only squirm worthy(and forced at that) scene in a movie of a series that is supposed to be at it's core of the syfi horror genre. People who work at movie theaters aren't generally regarded as socially inawkward and incapable of geeking out perhaps inappropriatley. Anyhow this obviously has nothing to do with the managment of the theater. There's no politics here and besides who the fuck returns free tickets? So much handwringing in this town, oy vay!
18
Surgically a c-section. Both mother and baby(cthulhu) live happy and healthy lives afterwards.
19
@15 - well duh, if the freak alien mutation thing was in a man's body, that would be unnatural.

Also, this never would've happened if she wasn't a barren whore.
20
Spoiler Alert: The TV mini-series "Jesus of Nazareth" contains a scene of rampant infanticide. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.
21
So is getting treated for a tapeworm abortion, too?
22
@11..if the alien franchise isn't about motherhood, women's choices,and control of their bodies (among plenty of other things) , i've been reading it wrong since day one.
23
@18 - Yes! It was explicitly a cesarean section. Dr. Shaw asks for the procedure by name when she's (um, further spoiler alert, I guess..) trying to operate the medical pod. Then she sanitizes the alien fetus.
24
isnt the baby actually half-alien/half-human?? the way i saw it, the dude who is infested with alien 'worms' and DNA donates his sperm to her...and then the alien baby comes out...

so the human couple couldnt previously have kids, and she internalized the blame as her fault..who knows - maybe it was the man's fault. i took it to mean that our modern sperm/egg combo is growing weaker despite all the modern technology, and 'alien' DNA is much stronger (fresher from the source of life- those crazy albino giant things) and thus more fertile.
25
i also thought the movie was really entertaining...a great escape and suspense fueld couple of hrs. i want to take mushrooms and go see it again!
26
(Spoilers, etc.) It wasn't even an abortion. She requests one and the machine specifically tells here, "This machine is not configured for a woman," so she instead orders a foreign body extraction.

Also, it's not a darling little baby, it's a horrible alien tentacle monstrosity. Nobody wants that shit.

"Holy shit, you pedantic nerd ass, nobody fucking cares about quibbly sci-fi bullshit! Go back to your action figure collection!" you say. Point is: you don't take a situation that is very specifically not presented as an abortion, and even if it was for an abortion is clearly not analogous to a human pregnancy, and describe it as an abortion unless you've got political motivations.

That's the theater I saw this movie at, although looking at my old stubs it appears this happened more than a week after I was there. Still, I'm probably going to be there again, and if this little warrior of Christ decides to start warning me about stuff in, say, I don't know, Ice Age: Who Fucking Gives A Shit ("Just to warn you, this movie presents an unrealistic image of the magic zoo hugbox that was Noah's Ark") his manager is going to get an earful.

Plus, what the hell: the whole movie was about how aliens sired human life on Earth, and some biblethumper takes issue with a parasitic extraction to save a woman's life?
27
Just so I'm clear on the situation

- minimum wage drone tells someone something about a movie they've paid to watch.

- it being a political topic, said someone decides that it's a Really Big Deal and starts raising all kinds of hell because some minimum wage drone had the temerity to tell them something about a movie they were gonna watch.

- said injustice is SO GREAT it gets covered by journ... uh, the Stranger, and many self-righteous words are spilled over the horrible, horrible incident of a minimum wage drone telling some dude something about a movie he was about to watch.

Really? REALLY, STRANGER?
28
@26, that was my thought too. This movie presents a whole new sci-fi twist on the creation myth that I thought would have the christianists all aghast. But no. This moron complains about a pseudo-abortion of an alien parasite? WTF?

I saw this movie at the Thornton Place theater. I see a lot of movies there with friends who live nearby. If that proselytizing employee had tried that shit with me, I'd have had him in front of his manager within minutes. He'd be lucky if I didn't punch him in the nuts just for being an asshole.
29
In the employee's defense, it's a fucking horrific, bloody scene that had me staring into my popcorn bag. Maybe it wasn't political at all, but rather the employee sensed some customers were on the squeamish side and gave them a heads up? (/charity)
30
That whole movie was an abortion.
31
@27

WORDS ARE A FINITE RESOURCE ON THE INTERBUTTS
32
@31 this post is the HELP HELP I'M BEING OPPRESSED scene in Monty Python made flesh. Except this time the person being "oppressive" isn't in a position to influence anyone or anything. It's ridiculous.
33
ah- Liberals and their ENDLESS ways in which to be offended...
34
I've never had an employee at a movie theater provide me with warnings about movies prior to entry unless there was some sort of seizure disclaimer due to shaky cameras/flashing lights. With that said, I would also think it extremely odd that an employee would spoil the movie for no good reason. Why would he do that? I'd be pissed. Especially after paying $12 to see the damn thing.
35
"Why, yes, of COURSE our minimum-wage drones are supposed to aggressively impart plot spoilers outside the theater. Why would you think that it's political? This happens all the time! Why, do you not remember the highly televised coverage of the launch of 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince'? We had a minion outside every single theater, even the ones that weren't showing it, shouting 'SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE' at the top of their lungs from the moment we opened in the morning until the very last show let out each evening."
36
Um, isn't the whole movie about how modern religion is a joke and completely wrong and that alien creatures really created us. If this guy is really a jesus freak, wouldn' t this be more offensive than an alien abortion?
37
In college, working in a movie theater box office, I learned pretty quickly to just keep your mouth shut when it comes to movies. I once warned a lady that it probably wasn't a good idea to take her two small children into Saw 3, got the "don't tell me how to raise my kids" speech, then 45 minutes later refunded her money while listening to her chew me out for not saying that it would be so loud.

Otherwise reasonable people tend to become entitled assholes on their worst behavior upon entering a movie theater. Somehow, they feel that the "high" $12 ticket price means they can abuse the minimum-wage employees and managers (many of whom are also earning minimum wage). Protip: complaining about how expensive movie theater tickets are at someone who doesn't earn enough in one hour to see a movie makes you look like an ass.

From the quote, it sounds like UNIDENTIFIED MINIMUM WAGE EMPLOYEE have had a political/moral objection to the scene. However, I think @29 is probably closest to the truth. It's gross.

Protip 2: Complaining about virtually anything at Regal will get you free tickets. Just to get your entitled ass off of their case. Why would you send the tickets back? One mediocre, predictable plot point in one mediocre, predictable movie was spoiled for you. Move on with your life and stop trying to get UNIDENTIFIED MINIMUM WAGE EMPLOYEE fired.
38
Movie ticket prices in the country I currently live in (Japan) are about $22 a ticket. $12 on special discount days. Perspective.
39
@29: yeah, it was pretty nasty. I had to take off my 3D glasses to not get sick. That said, it's still not about abortion, so that employee can go fuck himself.
40
I thought the scene was hilarious. Gore doesn't bother me when it's silly. Also, terrible movie.
41
I just couldn't get over how she was all running around and surviving and shit after her c-section/foreign-body-extraction/"abortion." I've had two of those! (human, surviving) It's major fucking surgery! You don't just suit up and dash off with a compromised abdominal wall!
42
DOMINIC HOLDEN, you told everyone what's going to happen in the movie just like Jorge did. Good job.
43
I had three roommates that used to work at Metro Cinemas in the U-District and they would be so bored most of the day that saying stupid shit like this would occasionally happen.

Jorge freaked out over something trivial. Returning the tickets makes me think that he really wants that entry level employee to be fired. If you dont want to be subjected to subliminal social, political or even religious imagery, then going to the movies really isnt the thing for you as its basically everywhere.
44
Kinison: Do you know what "subliminal" means? It doesn't mean me saying, "Kinison, you don't know what 'subliminal' means."

That said, Dominic's reaction is comically over the top.
45
I'm sure someone else has pointed this out (I'm too busy to read the thread) but how can it be an abortion if the alien (not exactly a fetus) lives and grows into an ass-kicking, sequel-creating monster? If the theater employee must spoil, "an attempted-but-failed abortion of an alien parasite from a human being" would have been a more accurate giveaway. Or perhaps "This movie doesn't hold a candle to it's predecessors. Turn back now!"
46
Reminds me of when I walked in on my roommate* watching "The Other Boleyn Girl" and SPOILER ALERT! said "Oh, this is right before everyone dies!"

*No, she did not know the story of Anne Boleyn. Yes, she was a moron.
47
Wait, Snape killed Dumbledore?
48
Won't SOMEONE think of the angry squid babies??!!??!!?!
49
fucking spoiler alert, assholes!!!! right there in the title! screw off holden.
50
Oh god, people the "abortion" scene is a red herring. The movie is really a Nazi parable plain and simple. A race of pure white ubermenches who both create life on earth and then decide to purge it when humans are deemed inferior.

For what it's worth if we do decide to read the alien c-section as an abortion, the opposition to it is indeed troubling, since clearly the pregnancy is both endangering the life of the mother and a result of rape (the sex with her human partner is consensual but the sex with his alien side is not).
51
Bruce Willis was dead the WHOLE TIME?!?!?!
52
I don't care how underpaid the employee is. Just rip my ticket and STFU if you don't like the movie.
53
Regal don't give a shit. All they care about is that you paid for a ticket and probably bought some overpriced concession crap. As is the case with most businesses the most important thing is the _money_.
54
@37 This is why you get a name. When confronted w/ abusive & insulting behavior from a wage slave, you smile & ask their name. Nice & casual. Make sure you get a pic. Then you throw it up on the interwebs, sit back & let the flying monkeys do their work.
55
HOLDEN YOUR HEADLINE IS ITSELF A SPOILER.
you should take it down and apologize!!!!!!!!!
56
maybe he was giving a warning to those who are sensitive about the issue and actually had no personal stake in the matter? just a thought...
57
My sensitive liberal jimmies are once more rustled as this issue is raised once more! I am only allowed to complain about three things a week and I opted to bitch about this instead of the starving orphans in Africa, the starving orphans in southeast Asia or the lack of God in our schools. My priorities are clearly more fucked over than the crew of a spaceship that doesn't think to prioritize maintaining an environmental seal against a hostile alien environment that infects people with crazy fish eye chest explode disease.
58
Respoiler Relert!
59
How these people get through modern life, I don't know.

On a similar note, I recently overheard a woman clutching her pearls over the CHILD PORNOGRAPHY in Brave. Specifically, the scene at the end where the main character's kid brothers are running around naked. You only see them from behind (just as you did their father and most of the other men earlier - kilt joke), and only for a few seconds, and oh yeah, they're not real people. They don't even look like real people, and they were made on a computer. The most amusing thing was that she was speaking to her daughter, who is apparently the only child in the history of mankind to not have a nudist phase growing up.

@29: I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who couldn't take that scene. I swear, that sequence was written to push all my specific "overload" buttons.
60
Runn Nunley?! Now that's a delightfully Pynchonian name.
61
what an important story....
62
This article lacks a little perspective. Some dumbassed employee mouthed off to a few customers, and you're treating it like goddamned Watergate Redux. Who cares, honestly?
63
you are even more of a jerk, holden. you REPOST the giant spoiler in the title?
(not to mention the spoilers in the photo caption and in the article itself)
zero respect. zero.
64
I think there's a good chance the ticket person wasn't a bible thumper. They were just thick/leotarded.

few years back i went to watch "rape of the soul" which was this wacky conspiracy theory "documentary" at landmark metro and the employee didn't really give away any spoilers but she was like, "uh...just so you know, you can always get a ticket refund if it's within 15 mins of the start of any movie". Is there really such a 15 min rule, never used it since but i did end up getting a refund that day.
65
@17: " I don't think the kid was doing anything other than trolling"

Oh bullshit. Then why didn't they spoiler the rest of the movie?
66
Best bunch of comments to anything ever. More enjoyable then the film.
67
"It's a chest-bursting child, not a choice!"
68
What makes anyone think he was making any sort of moral statement? When I read this, my first assumption was that he was warning people in case watching a chick giving herself a horror-alien-self-abortion is the sort of thing that makes people chuck their biscuits. (Because apparently there are still people that haven't been desensitised yet.) Even told them when it would happen so they could duck out during it.
I personally would have liked a spoiler before I watched 'The Butterfly Effect' that it was going to be the evil shit I had ever seen. (As I was a kid at the time.)
Otherwise, It would have to be the lamest most pointless way ever to make the statement 'abortion is bad'. He could have worn a t-shirt for that.

That being said. Abortion is bad. As a person who was once a fetus, I feel fully justified to make that statement. :)

(I couldn't same the same for hypothetical alien monstrosities though, but maybe I'm just racist. :P)

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