Comments

1
Given that baby strollers today tend to be the size of a small SUV (maybe to haul around are ..."larger" infants?) I can sorta understand why.

Go into a Starbucks in a family oriented neighborhood on a Saturday morning and you'll see what I mean
2
What 1 said. Besides how often do you see a kid aged 4-5 in a massive stroller? I don't know if the kid won't walk distances or the parents want to use the expensive stroller as long as possible.
3
VEE ARE GERMAN! YOU VILL NOT HAVE FUN OR ENJOY YOURSELF HERE!

ZERE IS NO LAUGHING ON ZEEZ PREMISES!

YOU VILL DRINK ZEE COFEE AND YOU VILL LIKE IT! ZEN YOU VILL LEAVE AND NOT SMILE!

The strollers aren't the problem. The people who take coffee so seriously (people, it's coffee) that they take all the joy out of it...they're the problem.

I have no love lost for people who have studio apartment sized strollers and think they take up no space, but these people are far, far more tedious. I'd like to hit them each over the head with an espresso machine.
4
OK, the strollers I could see, maybe. But the rest of it is such a ripe combination of snobbery and stereotypical German behavior that this shop would make a perfect set-piece for an Absolutely Fabulous episode.

"Your koffee vill be black. By Order!"
5
I rather like the idea. WxPDX, you made me laugh with your cartoony fun-poking at the germans and their obsessive seriousness.

Yet... I take my coffee black, sometimes with only a tiny bit of sugar. I ask for extra room in my americanos, not because I need room to ladle in a ton of cream. No, less water means the coffee is stronger and tastier.

I would go to the Extreme Bauhaus Koffee Shop and drink the hell out of their coffee. While also not rolling my eyes at all the insufferable WASPS and their ugly offspring. BECAUSE VE HAFF BANNED DEM FROM OUR KOFFEE SHOP!
6
Please let a coffee shop in Seattle do this.
7
Fuck yeah. Milk is for people who don't actually LIKE THE TASTE OF FUCKING COFFEE. And it's the reason most espresso in Seattle tastes like crap.
8
Hilarious! It's like the Soup Nazi decided to open a coffee shop in Germany.

"Have it your vay? Nein! You vill have it my vay, or you vill leave ze premises!"
9
@8 No soup for you!
10
@ 1/2, this is Germany, not America. They don't use the SUV-sized prams over there. There's no room for them anywhere, especially not in the cities.
11
They probably post instructions in the bathroom stalls on how you're supposed to wipe your ass.
12
@11: No, that's the British.

(I exaggerate, but I remember using several public toilets in London where the toilet paper was imprinted with NOW WASH YOUR HANDS.)
13
@7, pretty much every espresso joint in Seattle serves a pretty decent cup without milk in it if you ask. That's the thing about coffee drinks: you can order what you want, and the name tells you what's in it. Cappuccino? Milk. Caffe latte? Milk. Espresso doppio? No milk. See how that works? It's like a miracle or something.

Zoka, Zeitgeist, Umbria, Stumptown, Fuel, Ladro, Vita, Vivace, Fiore -- an almost unlimited array of outstanding shot-pullers. My favorite? Milstead & Co. in Fremont.

If you really want to visit the land of unrepentant coffee-flavored milkshake-quaffers, visit the drive-throughs out in the sticks. Try Marysville.
14
I don't mind this one bit. Let them have their strict rules and specific clientele; every cafe is not obliged to cater to every single customer's needs. Sometimes less choice is better. Those who don't like it can go somewhere else.
15
Double wide strollers with 3 -5 year old kids in it are the reason that America is falling apart. These kids are doomed to a life being fat, with their parents, Skip and Muffy, teaching them to vote Republican. Rule of thumb - if you wouldn't take your bicycle inside a business, you shouldn't take your SUV-stroller in there either.
16
@11, 12 - if human beings were more proficient in understanding and carrying out basic hygiene, we wouldn't have thousands of deaths every year from the spread of easily containable bacteria. But yeah, whatever, nanny state and such.

@3 - because clearly it's the only cafe in Berlin.
17
@ 13, I recall plenty of such places well within city limits, even Fremont and Capitol Hill, from my time calling your fair city "home." Starbucks and Tully's are well rooted in even the hippest spots in town.

That said, @ 7 doesn't get it and needs to read what you wrote.
18
To paraphrase Mitch Hedberg, if you are flammable and have wheels, you are never blocking a fire exit.
19
Hey Barn, even BMW has cup holders now. You can let people use laptops throughout your cafe. Honest. It'll still be The Ultimate Coffee.
20
I once overheard a guy arguing with another guy in a coffee shop say, with complete seriousness: "If you're not growing and roasting your own beans, then you obviously don't care at all about good coffee."
21
It's called niche marketing and is a very American concept.
22
Not a big deal, you can bring in your child, just not the stroller. Most theaters wont let you in with a toddler. Go to any restaurant with the bar and dining area linked and you cannot bring in your kid. Tried this at a few places on Capitol Hill and its just amazing how BS it really is and its not their rules, its state law that forbids anyone under the age of 21 to be barred in areas considered a bar.

iPic theaters in Redmond does this.

Red Robin in Overlake Mall does this.

That place on Broadway and John where the Quiznos used to be, open window, they wont let you take your child into that area at all.

People should stop complaining about what France does, and focus on the BS laws in Washington State.
23
I wouldn't mind if they just banned anyone under 18.
24
Businesses in Park Slope have already done this. And, really, if German parents must have this coffee and bring their children in tow, they can buy a bike lock and chain the thing up outside (the stroller, not the baby).
25
It sounds to me like this place is just begging for a flash mob of young parents with kids in BabyBjörns. When all of them simultaneously reach into their pockets, extract a big tube of Nestle sweetened condensed milk, and squeeze gobs of it into their coffee, the entire staff will stroke out.
26
@19 I take their no laptops stance to be more about not having to provide a power grid & WiFi, not to mention the table space. From the pics of the place, I can understand the vibe they are going for, and it's not the family of 3.75 + dog camping out for 3 hours on Sunday morning crowd.
27
Reminds me of that crazy coffee guy in seattle. He like, had a doomed shop by the seattle museum and was all about "his coffee vision".

Coffee is garbage water, dress it up until it's bearable.
28
@13 Because the coffee is typically masked by milk, most of the straight espresso turns out not to be very good. There are exceptions, but that's my take on most Seattle joints (compared to Peets circa 1994.)
29
OK, those on your list that I've tried (3/4ths) are pretty damned good. When I say "most," I mean a majority of all the carts, chains, supermarket stands, drive-throughs, stripper drive-throughs, etc, where your average latte-sucker loads up.
30
@22 Newsflash: Berlin is in Germany, not France.
31
@16: By all means, in the interest of public hygiene, please wash your hands when you eventually pull that pole out of your ass.

Seriously - did I or the person I responded to say ONE FUCKING THING about the "nanny state"? No. You came up with that on your own, and I ain't wearing it.

We can kid about slIghtly overzealous public service advertising ( and please be aware that when I said 'public toilet' I meant something not in a private home) without denigrating public health. Jesus, do you flip out like this in real life? You must be just a BUNDLE o' fun to be around.
32
@10, I wasn't talking about SUV's you idiot. I was talking in relative terms to the size of the strollers of now as compared to 20 years ago.

Please try to use reading comprehension once in awhile you square state hack.

Oh and Germany has the huge SUV sized strollers just like here in the states. I was there three months ago and they have them.
33
@31 - hmm, I wrote one sentence (which was absolute fact) followed by one throwaway line about how people whine about these measures when it's clear a lot of people still don't get it. You write three sections of ad hominem. Yet I'm the one flipping out. Interesting.
34
@33: Ah, an INTELLECTUAL troll. Got it. Piss off.
35
Back when Starbucks had taken over just Seattle and not yet the world, a NYC-transplant workmate blurted this out:

"Seattle is not a coffee town! New York is a coffee town. Seattle is a milk town!"
36
You know, I'm pretty sure it's not just America that's got this problem.

Those up-armored all-terrain strollers owe their existence to European design, after all-- turns out rich American mommies love European industrial design in their babies-related consumer goods.
37
This isn't an anti-stroller thing; it's an anti-tourist thing. I just got back from two weeks in Italy, and trust me, the most annoying thing was tourists with strollers. By a large margin (second was tourists attempting to use their iPads to take all their vacation photos). No joke, 80% of stroller wielders (and I mean that in the weapon sense) were Americans. And they were EXTREMELY annoying. I can't tell you how many scrapes and bruises I have on my ankles because of them. It's totally ridiculous. So more power to these guys for saying "ENOUGH" to the bullshit.

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