Comments

1
This is what our brilliant minds conjure? Paintballs? Let's paint kittens on them so we won't feel so bad when they hit us.
2
That's far less practical than just hitting it with a nuke or an H-bomb.
3
@1, I don't understand your comment. It reads like this: "Paintballs are small, silly things and asteroids are large, serious things, so it won't work."

But the impact of the paintballs isn't the central idea, it's the push the asteroid gets from the light that would reflect off of it instead of being absorbed by it after it's painted.

Try to understand it before claiming it won't work. This is basic.
4
@1, @2 - Actually, this was brought up in my undergraduate astronomy class 8 years ago. Hitting it with an H bomb might break it up, but then we'd just have a cluster of nearly-world-ending debris to deal with.

As counter-intuitive as it seems, at the speed that the Earth is moving, painting a meteor white would mean just enough extra pressure from the solar wind to move it just the 1km or so to the side that would make it pass the earth safely.
5
@3 I don't usually read unregistered but I'll say this. Where are you going to get all the paintballs? By turning China into a paintball factory? Do we each get a gun to shoot them? It's so ridiculous.
6
"I'm God and I approve this apocalyptic message" painted in large friendly letters.
7
Actually, it's not a terrible idea, for the right sized asteroid. The impact of the paint would be trivial, but over time photonic pressure would add up. You'd want to paint the northern or southern "pole" because if you paint at the equator, any rotation will zero out the benefit. And the plane of rotation has to be out of the solar plane, so that "pole" gets sunlight.

It's all just time and mass. If Apophis hits the keyhole in 2029, we'll have ten years to nudge a 350m rock. But that's not a "giant asteroid." If a Chicxulub nightmare (10km) came from the direction of the sun, we might only have a month or two before impact. Then we'd be well and truly fucked.
8
Great way to get rid of all our old lead based paint too, amiright?
9
Actually, you can paint anywhere. Thought about it some more. But the bottom line is the more time you have and the smaller the bolide, the more options you have for paint, nukes, gravity tractors, etc.
10

Aren't asteroids asymmetrical, not spherical. Seems like the right shaped asteroid, especially if curved, could act as a "sail" with the properties of moving toward, rather than away, from Earth.
11
@5 - Actually, no. NASA just called me and they said they've abandoned the paintball idea. They want you to go up there with a paint roller. Please remember to sand between coats.
12
Too racist.
13
It so simple.
14
Be easier to attach a solar sail to it and deflect the route than to blow it up.

Basic physics.

Blowing stuff up sometimes has unpredictable side effects.
15
Instead of "Blow stuff up" what about "Blow stuff aside"? How much pressure would be needed to nudge the asteroid off-course enough to bypass Earth?

And what is the range and speed that the paintball plan covers? How big/fast/far does an asteroid need to be in order for this plan to work? It's a novel idea, sure, but what are the practical limits of it?
17
Nifty idea. I think we should test it on an asteroid that will have no chance of ever hitting us, even with a nice, fresh coat of white paint.

Pardon me, I've got to get back to digging my bunker.
18
@15 scatter explosions cause different chunks to have different speeds, different vectors, and makes tracking more problematic.

Even a well-placed shaped charge of the cutting type depends upon knowledge of the consistency of what you're cutting. Which, quite frankly, we wouldn't have.
19
How many days in advance would we need to do this? Lets think about this...

The asteroid would need to be hit 2-3 days before impact, minimum. The paint balls would need to be launched 2-3 days before that. The paintballs sent up days before that. And gathered a day before that. We're talking an 8 day operation, minimum.

This reminds me of when I was an undergrad and we decided it was too tough to calculate how to land on an asteroid, so our plan was to harpoon it and drag it back to earth instead. Why, yes, marijuana was involved.

Please wait...

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