News Nov 22, 2012 at 7:54 am

The Thursday Morning News

Dominic Holden
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Comments

1
Anyone who goes shopping today is an asshole.
DOUG. on November 22, 2012 at 8:04 AM Report this
2
Evenif I shop online?
sanotehu on November 22, 2012 at 8:08 AM Report this
3
I heard that whole Gaza thing has stopped being so bad.
ryanayr on November 22, 2012 at 8:12 AM Report this
4
It isn't that rainy outside.
Cato the Younger Younger on November 22, 2012 at 8:14 AM Report this
5
This is a comment in an open thread.
jeffinfremont on November 22, 2012 at 8:15 AM Report this
6
Turkey Trot!!
pony on November 22, 2012 at 8:22 AM Report this
7
My feet hurt.
Fifty-Two-Eighty on November 22, 2012 at 8:23 AM Report this
8
My ex girlfriend called last night saying she was lost in OTR and didn't have her wallet or keys. I did not answer as I was passed out. I wonder if she is okay...
douchus on November 22, 2012 at 8:30 AM Report this
9
Dogs.Dogs.Dogs.Dogs. Pit bulls are great snugglers. Dogs. Dogs. Woof
julie russell on November 22, 2012 at 8:40 AM Report this
10
Stjude.org for those who want to share their good fortune.
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
Pope Peabrain on November 22, 2012 at 8:40 AM Report this
11
Right. Coz you're somehow noble if you abstain from material consumption today and tomorrow. Every other day of the year however, being a greedy consumption monster is a-okay. Saturday November 24th = iPads nom nom...
Confluence on November 22, 2012 at 8:41 AM Report this
12
frosted butts
venomlash on November 22, 2012 at 8:46 AM Report this
13
jesus christ, that deja vu ad. i need to get laid...
tainte on November 22, 2012 at 8:50 AM Report this
14
I discovered Homeland last night. I guess I won't be leaving the house today after all. Must watch every. single. one.
chromie on November 22, 2012 at 8:50 AM Report this
15
you certainly aren't gonna get that pulitzer with half assed morning news posts like this
Swearengen on November 22, 2012 at 8:53 AM Report this
16
Thanksgiving tips:
- Keep annoying guests, or all guests for that matter, out of the kitchen! Keep hors d'oeuvres and the bar/beverages in the dining/living room.

- Don't use that final roasting minutes tip of painting on soy sauce on the bird to make it look brown and glazed, it only dries it out.

- If there's a limited amount of gravy, serve it yourself so that nobody hogs it.

- Before guests arrive and even if you're running behind schedule, force yourself to get refreshed and have a drink and relax. You don't want folks to see you flustered.

What other tips to Sloggers have today?

Phoebe in Wallingford on November 22, 2012 at 8:53 AM Report this
17
Oh c'mon. Can't he have a day off! He can watch Homeland.
chromie on November 22, 2012 at 8:54 AM Report this
18
Yeah, I got a tip. Try not to gloat too much to R74 rejecting relatives. That's gonna be a challenge for me today.
chromie on November 22, 2012 at 8:55 AM Report this
19
Thank You Wonkette:
Happy Thanksgiving, America. May all your Hoverrounds come equipped with TruckNutz. May you return safely from your holiday travels without having actually punched any wingnut relatives in the nose. May your attempts to recite ā€œAliceā€™s Restaurantā€ from memory be at least 30% successful. May you see everything twice ā€” unless you get dragged out to that thing about sparkly vampires, or that other thing thatā€™s a remake of that 1984 thing about Rooshians invading Colorado. (North Koreans? As if.)
spokevin on November 22, 2012 at 9:03 AM Report this
20
Did I miss the winner announcement of Hump?
TheMisanthrope on November 22, 2012 at 9:16 AM Report this
21
This morning news post is as lazy as this comment. For shame, Mr. Holden.
MacCrocodile on November 22, 2012 at 9:20 AM Report this
22
Handguns are the Pit Bulls of the inanimate object world.
Steven Bradford on November 22, 2012 at 9:26 AM Report this
23
I bought some yogurt and pads this morning, am I still evil?
digitalwitch on November 22, 2012 at 9:27 AM Report this
24
Started turkey day with morning sex and then a joint shower. Now off to eat eggs and bacon and bake cornbread, biscuits and candied bacon. Best holiday ever!
on November 22, 2012 at 9:33 AM Report this
25
Grocery shopping is okay before noon. Just noChristmas shopping.
rubus on November 22, 2012 at 9:34 AM Report this
26
@21: It's a holiday. Do you really need another assortment of news and politics articles to get outraged about and a cute video?

Phoebe in Wallingford on November 22, 2012 at 9:54 AM Report this
27
Here is a child who really enjoys candy and boobies.

http://deadspin.com/5962787/?utm_campaig…
Gern Blanston on November 22, 2012 at 9:58 AM Report this
28
I'm sure you all know this already, but the 12 days of Christmas start on the 25th, they don't end on the 25th. There are always so many ads and commercials that get this wrong.
care bear on November 22, 2012 at 10:13 AM Report this
29
Hector "Macho" Camacho pronounced brain dead after being shot in the head outside of a bar in Puerto Rico. I always maintain a soft, nostalgic spot in my heart for those 70's & 80's era boxers, the last era when the sport still held solid footing in the mainstream American sports conscience (and I know it's likely for the best, as the sport can be unspeakably brutal and inhumane. Still.)

RIP.
mikethehammer on November 22, 2012 at 11:33 AM Report this
30
What the fuckin' fuck is with folks that put up their fawkin' X-mas tree before Thanksgiving? There are three in my neighborhood.

Wouldn't you just be massively tired of it all by the time X-mas finally arrives? And what Care Bear said deserves repeating: the twelve days begin on X-mas. It used to be the custom to put up the decorations and the tree on X-mas eve.
Dr_Awesome on November 22, 2012 at 11:40 AM Report this
31
Open thread?? I only comment in closed, monogamous threads!! Outrageous!

Wait... this doesn't count ok? Please don't tell that last post I was commenting in! Oh God, what have I done...

Wait. This doesn't make sense. Am I saying the thread is like a marriage/relationship? If so I should ONLY comment in open ones.

Wait. What about all those other threads? Damn it. I'm such a whore.
ArtBasketSara on November 22, 2012 at 11:43 AM Report this
32
My tradition is to decorate in the last weekend of November. So. Ya. Now you know. You're welcome.
ArtBasketSara on November 22, 2012 at 11:47 AM Report this
33
@31: Relax, after all you have sliver threads and golden needles in your art basket.
Phoebe in Wallingford on November 22, 2012 at 11:52 AM Report this
34
@26 - THAT'S IT, PHOEBE! MEET ME BY THE FLAGPOLE AFTER SCHOOL!
MacCrocodile on November 22, 2012 at 12:21 PM Report this
35
@30 The REAL problem with putting up your Christmas tree before Thanksgiving is that the needles will have fallen off by Christmas.
I have always been... east coaster on November 22, 2012 at 1:49 PM Report this
36
@35 The answer is a fake Christmas tree of course. Another artbasketsara family tradition! Those real ones are soooo lazy... I only hire artificial.

@33 Stop looking in my basket!!
ArtBasketSara on November 22, 2012 at 2:54 PM Report this
37
Socialized medicine is the bomb! News from Sweden: A friend of a friend (both Swedes) was sick, swollen, and miserable. She went to the doctor on Monday, they suspected cancer. Did tests. Confirmed Hodgkins Lymphoma this morning and she started chemotherapy three hours later. Suck on that, relatives who believe that socialized medicine is a death sentence!
sloggerette on November 22, 2012 at 2:56 PM Report this
38
I know it's a bit late in the game, but my pants feel weird.
LEE. on November 23, 2012 at 12:03 AM Report this
39
Why are we always called "consumers" now, and not citizens?
treacle on November 23, 2012 at 10:48 AM Report this

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