Books Jan 10, 2013 at 2:22 pm

So Blurb Me Maybe?

Dan Savage
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Comments

1
Well...Joel Connelly will probably claim you are cheapening the word "shit". And by cheapening it he means by using it more than once.
Cato the Younger Younger on January 10, 2013 at 2:34 PM Report this
2
"Crisp phrasing and apt metaphors that will be consumed by Saddlebackers from Pensacola to Puyallup."
emma's bee on January 10, 2013 at 2:39 PM Report this
3
"Better than a platinum coin, Dan spews nuggets of wisdom upon the sands of time which stick to the pages like santorum."
Will in Seattle on January 10, 2013 at 2:42 PM Report this
4
"Dan Savage is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."
Urgutha Forka on January 10, 2013 at 2:43 PM Report this
5
"The cover photo is Photoshopped, yes, what portrait isn't nowadays, honestly? But not the arms dear reader, not those sweet, sweet arms."

— Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn, author of Ia! Ia!, a memoir
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn on January 10, 2013 at 2:52 PM Report this
6
A must-read. Indeed, I must read it someday.
Ricardo on January 10, 2013 at 2:58 PM Report this
7
Probably doesn't suck.
Matt the Engineer on January 10, 2013 at 2:59 PM Report this
8
"Haha stfu, Americans don't read! You can hardly be bothered with subtitles"
/friendly eurotrash
JensR on January 10, 2013 at 3:03 PM Report this
9
This is a book with pages that turn nicely and feature words formed into sentences worth reading.
You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me on January 10, 2013 at 3:05 PM Report this
10
Most of his other books have been okay, so this one probably is.

P.S. Tina Fey wrote her own blurbs and they are something hilarious to strive for.
crone on January 10, 2013 at 3:05 PM Report this
11
"Lies straight from Hell!" -Paul Broun impersonator
LukeJoe on January 10, 2013 at 3:07 PM Report this
12
"Dan Savage, former child star of "The Wonder Years", has turned the literary world on it's head with his latest book, American Savage. With harrowing wit and charm, Dan Savage has proven he can do it again...and again...and again."
ArtBasketSara on January 10, 2013 at 3:10 PM Report this
13
I disagree. When I pick up a book to decide whether or not to read it, I hate it when all I see are one-line reaction quotes. Knowing that the New York Times thought that such-and-such a book was "Phenomenal!" does not help at all when what I want to know is what the book is about.

But yes, people who write the blurbs should bother to read the book.

So what's the book about?
DRF on January 10, 2013 at 3:12 PM Report this
14
The pope condemns this book and all who read it! Get your copy now!
Pope Peabrain on January 10, 2013 at 3:14 PM Report this
15
Whether he’s declaring that women are humans rather than livestock, strongly implying that the First Amendment is maybe sorta a little worth enforcing, or arguing that a collection of hallucinogen-inspired rants from ancient desert tribes is no basis for murdering gay children, Savage continues his proclivity for controversial opinions in this latest must-read work.
- B. Smith, Scientist.
Bonefish on January 10, 2013 at 3:26 PM Report this
16
Better than 50 Shades of Gray!

Oh wait, or:

50 Shades of Gay.
Matt the Engineer on January 10, 2013 at 3:26 PM Report this
17
"A proud moment of intellectual clarity for the white race".
(Just anticipating the last chapter.)
orange&black on January 10, 2013 at 3:28 PM Report this
18
"It Gets Better" than this book.
TimMathis on January 10, 2013 at 3:30 PM Report this
19
For every sale of “American Savage,” fifty dollars are donated to gay escorts by antigay politicians.
- B. Smith, Statistician.
Bonefish on January 10, 2013 at 3:30 PM Report this
20
A totally unexpected book from one of the stars of the hit show Mythbusters.
- James Polk
jnmend on January 10, 2013 at 3:32 PM Report this
21
Yup. It's a book, alright.
STS on January 10, 2013 at 3:34 PM Report this
22

"It's like taking a hot steel rod in the hindquarters...and asking for more!"

Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on January 10, 2013 at 3:35 PM Report this
23
Not to be confused with Michael Savage, the secretly gay political author from gay mecca San Francisco, Dan Savage is the openly gay political author from Seattle. Once we realized this, books like “American Savage” became much more appealing to us and we’re sure it’s worth a read, unlike the shrill screeds written by that closeted fuckface in Frisco.
- B. Smith, Potential Libeler.
Bonefish on January 10, 2013 at 3:38 PM Report this
24
Even if I knew how to read, I sure as fuck wouldn't read this book.
- Rush Limbaugh, Dipshit.
Bonefish on January 10, 2013 at 3:40 PM Report this
25
"This book is way better than anything Christopher Hitchens is writing these days!"
Looking For a Better Read on January 10, 2013 at 3:46 PM Report this
26
Hideously offensive, deeply sacrilegious, anti-American screed by a pretentious liberal homosexual. I couldn't put it down.
singing cynic on January 10, 2013 at 3:49 PM Report this
27
The next time a natural disaster strikes America, it will be the fault of this book and everyone who read it. Because of Jesus.

-Pat Robertson
I Hate Screen Names on January 10, 2013 at 3:55 PM Report this
28
"Dan Savage is a helluva read!!!" - Larry King
Gern Blanston on January 10, 2013 at 3:56 PM Report this
29
@12 has disturbed, somehow, fibrinous plaques upon my centers of long-term recollection.
"A heartbreaking work of staggering genius."
rob! on January 10, 2013 at 4:00 PM Report this
30
"Dan Savage plumbs the labrynthine twists of the intersection of sex and politics with the buoyand delight of a conjurer."

That's what I was going to submit, that is, until I read @15. Can I vote for @15?
Typographer on January 10, 2013 at 4:02 PM Report this
31
"He did not go to the gym while writing this book. His ass must be huge now." - Gern Blanston
Gern Blanston on January 10, 2013 at 4:03 PM Report this
32
I should have known better than to use this as bedtime reading for my son. Now he's asking me all sorts of questions. How am I supposed to explain something as sick and deviant as Rick Santorum to a sleepy five-year-old?
- B. Smith, bewildered parent.
Bonefish on January 10, 2013 at 4:03 PM Report this
33
@15...... awesome
SiSiSodaPop in Vegas on January 10, 2013 at 4:21 PM Report this
34
Life affirming, death dealing, a wake-up call to a nation of sleepyheads: this is the now, this is the new, this is the new book by Dan Savage.
--MC on January 10, 2013 at 4:23 PM Report this
35
The prequel that 50 Shades of Grey wishes it was.
Will in Seattle on January 10, 2013 at 4:25 PM Report this
36
"There is no way you are getting a quote from us to use on your book cover" - NOM

(yes i stole that from the banksy book, sue me)
dutchie on January 10, 2013 at 4:43 PM Report this
37
"Perfectly adequate!"
LateBloomer on January 10, 2013 at 4:47 PM Report this
38
"Gay HEAD Cheerleader Dan Savage comes in through the back door with his latest home run. Keen, penetrative, oddly whimsical, a MUST read!

Can't wait for the book, Dan, I pre-ordered! xo
despicable me on January 10, 2013 at 4:47 PM Report this
39
"The Islamic world is celebrating Savage's new manifesto as if Mohammad (see likeness below) had risen from the dead and blessed it as the replacement for the Koran."

"I want to party with this guy" - Mitt Romney

"You should shoot your way through an entire daycare to get your hands on this book." Wayne La Pierre, NRA
milemarker on January 10, 2013 at 4:48 PM Report this
40
"Boy, this seems awfully meandering and unfocused. People actually read crap like this nowadays?" - Hunter S. Thompson

"I keep a copy in my bathroom. It helps." - Dr James Dobson
Knat on January 10, 2013 at 5:01 PM Report this
41
"Mr Savage is the much-needed leaven in the lump." - J. Brodie (Miss)
vennominon on January 10, 2013 at 5:21 PM Report this
42
@29 I disturb, it's what I do (?). Also a Dan Savage quote from his new book (I'm pretty sure).

"A majestic romp through the glitter mines of 21st century America."

"American Savage stands on the backs of such giants as 'The Hobbit' and 'Twilight Saga' to produce a political sex thriller tour de force that will have you cheering for more!"
ArtBasketSara on January 10, 2013 at 5:23 PM Report this
43
"The opinions expressed in this novel exceed 140 characters."
kim in portland on January 10, 2013 at 6:01 PM Report this
44
"I know we've had our differences in the past, but I have to admit that Savage's chapter on BDSM was genuinely insightful."

Pope Benedict XVI
TimMathis on January 10, 2013 at 6:08 PM Report this
45
Reading Savage's latest topical tome will not make you pregnant, pretty, smart or fat. But it may make you wonder what it would be like to spend one day walking around in Dan's gay shoes.
Rhett Oracle on January 10, 2013 at 6:10 PM Report this
46
"100% Safe and FoolProof!"
on January 10, 2013 at 6:28 PM Report this
47
"Man, fuck this shit"

- New York Times
TimMathis on January 10, 2013 at 6:37 PM Report this
48
@42 er, make that "Dan Savage stands on..."
ArtBasketSara on January 10, 2013 at 7:30 PM Report this
49
I really love that Dan alluded to the Period Troll and even invited him to comment!

@25- God, that's harsh.
lizza on January 10, 2013 at 7:40 PM Report this
50
@48 No wait, wait... I can do this...

"Dan Savage stands on the backs of such literary giants as JRR Tolkien and Stephenie Meyer to produce a political sex thriller tour de force that will have you cheering for more!"

Ah, nailed it! ...oh God, I'm wasting my life...

(Note: Inclusion of Stephenie Myer with Tolkien is purely for the current pop culture name recognition value. It feels dirty and wrong but I'm just that kinda blurb writer!)
ArtBasketSara on January 10, 2013 at 8:00 PM Report this
51
Savage is even more no-nonsense in this book than he is in my wildest fantasies.
- R. Santorum, former Senator and failed Presidential candidate.
Bonefish on January 10, 2013 at 8:09 PM Report this
52
Comic Sans was a bold choice of font, but Dan's pulled it off.
Matt the Engineer on January 10, 2013 at 9:18 PM Report this
53
"With SLOG fans hitting the exits in droves over the ever-changing book outlining schedule, Savage masterminds a diversion called "pre-ordering" and "blurp me" that has turned his remaining readers suicidal. Is it another stalling tactic? Will the book actually appear sometime in February along with Andrew Sullivan's promised new independent blog? Will Savage and Sullivan head to the hills with all the pre-order loot?

Pre-order and find out!
milemarker on January 10, 2013 at 10:00 PM Report this
54
So good they ought to sell it in bookstores!
seandr on January 10, 2013 at 10:33 PM Report this
55
"The book is absolutely wonderful, particularly sauteed with shallots in a white wine sauce. Now that's what I call good reading."
Reverend Tap on January 11, 2013 at 3:26 AM Report this
56
"This book should be boycotted by extremists of all types, so that it becomes a bestseller."
Will in Seattle on January 11, 2013 at 9:49 AM Report this
57
Now I want to buy it just for the blurbs.
random_lez on January 11, 2013 at 4:47 PM Report this
58
His readers can finally find out what was so damn important to say that they had to sit through months of old Savage Love. Worth it? You decide.
idaho on January 13, 2013 at 11:56 AM Report this
59
Mr. Savage has finally taken sexual neologisms into the realm of sign language. This book is a must-read, if only to learn what shocking act Savage is depicting with that face-cupping gesture in the cover photo.
- Gasp!
on January 13, 2013 at 7:54 PM Report this

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