Troll harder.

Paul has taken a beginner lesson in trolling. Last week's football post yielded him a lot of comments; so, rinse and repeat.

The football I watch usually happens at friggin' 4:30 AM. This here is quite leisurely in contrast.

If the NFL adopted the corner kick and the throw-in (or at least starting the snap from the sideline when the ball is carried out of bounds) it would be a lot better. Also, double goal posts like Australian Rules.

Also, a field goal from a distance of less than 50 yards should really only be worth one point these days.

Could have just called it an open thread instead of being embarrassingly try-hard trolling

Go take a nap under your bridge.

A sea hawk is a nickname for an osprey. Not imaginary.

Paul, please observe their butts. Their uniforms are butt-a-riffic! Worth watching, especially in slo-mo.

Snob

@8, you need to watch some Australian Rules if you want to see butts. They still play in short-shorts and singlets.

To answer your request, Paul: what little you know of football is wrong. It is not important that you know anything about it, and even less important for you to write about it. Go back to your books.

Personally, I find the way basketball shorts drape over a shapely rear to be much more erotic than clingy football pants.

I feel exactly the same way since the Giants were eliminated. It's not that they didn't deserve to be eliminated. I love them to death, but they played like they were asleep for much of the last half of the season.

Meanwhile, I gotta half-heartedly root for the imaginary birds, I guess.

@7 You are correct, though, I think would like them better if the were called the Seameats. Or the Stormcocks.

Or wait. The STORMCOPS.

Aussie rules isn't nearly as much fun after they took away the lab coats and Panama hats.

@10, that sport is a celebration of the male posterior chain. The game cultivates the most beautiful thighs and asses, and the uniforms let them shine. Hooboy.

Paul, once your nails are dry, you could gather writing material by taking a gander at the Stand Up Against Gun Violence march from Westlake to the Mural Amphitheater.

1:30. http://standupwa.org/2012/12/22/march/

My evil plan is to gather at Westlake, cheer as we all begin marching down Fourth, but then duck onto the monorail to the Center House, where I'll get cozy with the Sunday papers over lunch at Skillet. Once the shivering masses reach the Mural Amphitheater I'll rejoin them for the speechifying, which one hopes will not feature any slam poets.

Fuck feigned faux ignorance.

I like the cut of your job, Gus.

"Feigned faux" Ha.

Damn auto correct "jib".

Stop by and say hello, Gus -- I'll be outside See's Candy from 1:15. Wearing a suit, tie, hat and overcoat.

@11: FTW!

I hardly know a thing about football myself, but I enjoy getting all the hors d'œuvres out and keeping family jocks both male and female drinks going and the ambiance of it all.

It IS rather like dropping chum into a shark tank, isn't it Paul?

@ 24, with such a smaller number of people rising to the bait, it's hard to see the comparison holding. Last week, sure.

Oh well. I'm sure Paul was aware of the law of diminishing returns given how things like the once-monthly Critical Mass posts went. It appears that the falloff is much sharper when it the schedule is weekly.

Should the Seahawks prevail (they're threatening in the final second of the 4th as I type this) and prove Nate Silver right, I expect Super Bowl Sunday's thread to get a response much more like last week's.

Books are just fire hazards now.

Paul is pretty much this guy:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-ma…

@7

"seahawk" is not "a nickname for osprey," it is the name by which Pandion haliaetus is known in some English-speaking parts of the world (OK, mostly Scotland, but that counts for something).

Which is to say that yes, Paul Constant, smither of words, does not do his homework.