I Just Googled "Guacamole Secrets"

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One of my Mexico City friends added a bit of strong chicken stock (or chicken stock paste) (although this might make your vegetarian friends angry).

One of my friends from Morelia adds a bit of milk.

Big Adventure Steve on February 3, 2013 at 12:22 PM

Why do food writers think palette and palate are the same thing?

Keister Button on February 3, 2013 at 12:25 PM

I carmelize half the onion I put in with cayenne and cummin and butter. And other than that just the essential parts. The best thing you can do is have a fresh good avacado. Adding anything extra to guac can only make it less delicious. Also adding small diced tomatoes is good makes it lighter. But adding sour cream is nasty why would you want to do that!!

michael bell on February 3, 2013 at 12:35 PM

My preferred recipe requires only avocado, lime, garlic and salt. I've never been a fan of the chunky onion or salsa bits, though the roasted garlic and sour cream additions sound promising. Go Niners!

McBomber on February 3, 2013 at 12:40 PM

Thanks for posting this Bethany.

@3, also adding mayonnaise - never!

Phoebe in Wallingford on February 3, 2013 at 12:44 PM

NO CILANTRO. For people, like me, for whom cilantro tastes like soap due to our genetic superiority/inferiority, cilantro ruins anything it touches. Have a wee bowl of the chopped evil garnish on the table and cilantro lovers can sprinkle it on their food.

Chicago Fan on February 3, 2013 at 12:54 PM

I highly recommend this Academy Award nominated way: http://youtu.be/FQMO6vjmkyI

zonod on February 3, 2013 at 1:02 PM

You don't have the proper clearance for the real guacamole secrets.

You will have to make do with this.

MacCrocodile on February 3, 2013 at 1:09 PM

Dammit, @7.

MacCrocodile on February 3, 2013 at 1:10 PM

A couple of years ago, the Avocado Growers Council (or whatever it was called) ran a promotional campaign that called avocados "hand-grown." (Read the post on Cornichon here. Totally absurd.

Cornichon on February 3, 2013 at 1:15 PM

people who don't like cilantro can get fucked

on February 3, 2013 at 1:20 PM

I was unaware that there were other ways to cut an avocado. What the hell are you people doing, just lopping off pieces willy nilly? Trying to peel it first?

tired and true on February 3, 2013 at 1:26 PM

6: my friend has that weird cilantro soap taste thing too. i like guacamole kept simple too and usually just mashed up with a fork. i do like to let it sit for a little while before eating it though in order to get the lemon or lime taste really inside the avocado mush. a little orange or lime soda has yielded good results too btw.

tim koch on February 3, 2013 at 1:35 PM

The lime and salt are absolutely key. I do not like the onion idea and never use it. I like just some finely chopped tomato rather than using salsa (because you then introduce a lot of other flavors from whatever is in the salsa).

A shake or two of your favorite hot sauce is also good. (But no mayo and no sour cream.)

westello on February 3, 2013 at 1:39 PM

What do style guidelines say about using quotes when the search didn't include quotes?

You didn't do a google search for "guacamole secrets", you searched for guacamole secrets (no quotes). Would a search for "guacamole secrets" (with quotes) be referred to as "'guacamole secrets'"? In that case then I guess you did search for "guacamole secrets".

btw, if you do a search for "guacamole secrets" (with quotes), the top result is your post.

stinkbug on February 3, 2013 at 1:54 PM

Lime goes in salsa, lemon in guac.

levide on February 3, 2013 at 1:56 PM

Okay, don't be grossed out, but if you want to make a less-fatty guacamole, substitute mashed edamame for about 1/2 the avocado. (ducks)

Luckier on February 3, 2013 at 2:02 PM

@6 I only recently learned about this subset of people who all think cilantro tastes like soap. I think I first saw someone mention it on Slog. I guess I've just been insulated from the world of garnish intolerance.

This year we have it in its own little bowl.

Hernandez on February 3, 2013 at 2:08 PM

Folks, please do not add diary to dishes that have been prepared dairy-free for generations without warning guests.

I'm sure guacamole tastes better with a dollop of sour cream. That's why you'll see the bowl of sour cream on the serving table next to the guacamole. However, at any decent sized gathering of people, at least one person will have milk issues. You will make them double over in pain and run for the bathroom an hour into the game.

Non-diary people know to politely ask when there's any doubt. "Say, did you put cheese in this? Oh, lovely, No, I'll just look at it from a distance, thanks." But we don't usually bother asking about dishes for which there is no possible chance of dairy.... nobody will suspect milk in your guacamole any more than they'd expect you to slip milk in their beer.

eclexia on February 3, 2013 at 2:11 PM

@17: You're one of those assholes who substitutes yogurt for mayonnaise in coleslaw, aren't you? Fucking Philistine.

TVDinner on February 3, 2013 at 2:19 PM

"premashed avocado"

Good grief. Is this next to the pre-chopped limes and tomatoes? If you're that short on time, just buy the fucking premade guacamole and be done with it.

Reverse Polarity on February 3, 2013 at 2:33 PM

My mom's thing is he makes the salsa in the processor and then makes the guacamole in the same blender. Less dishes and just enough added flavor.

spoons on February 3, 2013 at 2:44 PM

Pimiento, Sal y Limon. Keep it simple.

julie russell on February 3, 2013 at 2:44 PM

I add finely minced tomato and sweet onion for texture. I also use a little rice vinegar in addition to lime, and a pinch or two of ground cumin in addition to the (non-iodized) salt.

sperifera on February 3, 2013 at 2:52 PM

Vic Leverett was a costume designer in the WWU theatre dept. back in the 80's, 90's & 00's, who used to make what was commonly referred to by drama students as "crackamole". Although he would never reveal the exact recipe, through the process of repeated sampling and some independent experimentation, we came to the conclusion that it consisted of avocado, lime juice, a bit of salt - and cream cheese, blended using a food processor. It had a smooth, creamy texture and was absolutely irresistible, hence the name.

COMTE on February 3, 2013 at 3:18 PM

Cucumber adds bulk without adding fat, and doesn't adversely affect flavor or texture.

My standard recipe (more or less):

For every 2 med size ripe avocados:
1/2 red onion, diced
1, jalapeño seeded and diced
1 Roma tomato, seeded and diced
1 cucumber, peeled, seeded, coarsely chopped
~2 Tbs chopped cilantro
Juice of 1-2 limes
Salt and pepper to taste

Combine everything but the avocados, let macerate 15 min to an hour. Add avocado right before serving, mixing with a fork. If you use a food processor, you are dead to me.

bleedingheartlibertarian on February 3, 2013 at 3:21 PM

Avocado (small cubes, mash gently with fork or potato masher), chopped onion, finely chopped serrano pepper, salt, fresh squeezed key lime juice (acidity!), cilantro on the side for people who don't like it. Finely chopped fresh garlic if you like. Proportions of each element to match your taste, but it should be a lot more avocado than add-ins.

Mix just "enough," don't overmix, don't blend. Lightly chunky is best for chips 'n' guac. Let it rest for a while before eating to let flavors blend a bit. Lay plastic wrap right on top of the guacamole to keep it from browning.

No salsa, no sour cream. All ingredients fresh, otherwise you're making dip, not guacamole, imo.

rainbird on February 3, 2013 at 3:25 PM

Thank you #19. It's so bizarre that some people can't seem to eat anything without cow milk in it.

raku on February 3, 2013 at 3:42 PM

I like cumin and a bit of fresh moderately hot chile to be involved along with the avocado, onion, garlic, lime and salt. Dairy seems like a dumb thing to add to such a lovely rich fruit; it's not quite gilding the lily, because gilt is at least visible and I think sour cream would be invisible except in the total calorie count/fat content.
And I don't care whether it's smooth or chunky; it's kind of hard to fuck up avocado.

alight on February 3, 2013 at 3:43 PM

I'm a purist: avocados, lime, garlic and salt only. anything else gets in the way.

genevieve on February 3, 2013 at 4:12 PM

1. Chop up half of a red onion
2. Chop up a couple on-the-vine tomatoes
3. mince some garlic
4. add some cumin
5. add some chopotle chili powder
6. add salt
7. chop up two or three avocados (using method outline in video...how on earth would anyone chop it up differently?)
8. freshly squeezed juice from one lime
8. add everything to the bowl
9. mash/stir gently with fork, aim for a 60/40 smooth to chunk ratio.
10. pop it in the fridge until guest arrive

I do this every time and people seem to like it. I would cilantro, but my wife hates it. A small sacrifice I guess.

All that other stuff -- dairy, seriously? -- sounds gross or unnecessary.

While bicycle camping I will buy a pint container of fresh salsa and an avocado at the end of the day. Chop up the 'cado, add to bowl with salsa, mash up with fork and enjoy with chips for a delicious post ride snack.

emor on February 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM

a fresh avocado
fresh garlic (a couple of cloves)
salt
pepper
sour cream to taste

Then the twist - try it with sturdy jalapeno potato chips (Tim's Cascade, Zapp's, Kettle) Sooooo dope.

on February 3, 2013 at 5:22 PM

The premashed (vacuum packed) avacado at QFC is legit. Just avacados. You get two packs--freeze one for later. It's by the precut fruit and sprouts in the produce cold case.

Amy Kate Horn on February 3, 2013 at 6:41 PM

Go to culinary school and quit Googling for shortcuts. Also, Sloggers aren't experts by any means.

mayor on February 3, 2013 at 8:15 PM

PURIST. Avocados, GREEN CHILES (jalapeno, Serrano, ancho or bell), lime salt... smooth or chunky... heat, sour and salt, to taste. Native Americans were eating this recipe when then conquistadors landed..;-D

pupuguru on February 3, 2013 at 9:02 PM

I put M&Ms in mine.

Fnarf on February 3, 2013 at 9:15 PM

2-3 Avocados, 1/2 onion, 2 roma tomatos, 1 seeded jalapeno, then juice from a lime(+) and salt to taste.

Add cilantro because it's awesome and to cut down on the number of people who will eat it. More for you.

dirge on February 3, 2013 at 9:17 PM

Lots of cumin, lots of garlic.

sikandro on February 3, 2013 at 10:07 PM

The best Guac I ever had was last spring at the Hotel Alpina in Mazamitla Jalisco. It's kinda like Leavenwoth in Mexico but not cheesy. They put an herb in the Guac that tasted a lot like Tarragon, probably was.
My Grandma Ursula used to put Tarragon in her Clam Chowder, unique & wonderful!

moveit on February 3, 2013 at 10:54 PM

It sounds like the real secret is to use delicious avocados and very little else.

josh on February 3, 2013 at 11:15 PM

@39, epazote. That's a weird thing to put in guacamole, but whatever floats your boat. I reserve it for beans and beans alone. You can buy it fresh at HT Market, 100th and Aurora.

Fnarf on February 4, 2013 at 5:03 AM

I tried roasted garlic, and it was good—maybe not SO MUCH BETTER that it's worth going out of your way for, but good.

Bethany Jean Clement on February 4, 2013 at 8:58 AM Stranger Staff

Avocados contain the healthiest fats you could possibly put in your body. There's no cause to try to create a 'reduced fat' guacamole.

For that matter, guacamole is a silly dish anyway. Sliced avocado with lime juice and a little salt. Why destroy the texture by mashing it up?

johnjjeeves on February 4, 2013 at 9:24 AM

I'm also a little surprised that this thread got to 42 comments without anyone mentioning tomatillo. Technically, I suppose avocado and roasted tomatillo isn't guacamole, but it's a delicious salsa. Just about everything goes better with tart tomatillo.

Fnarf on February 4, 2013 at 9:26 AM

In addition to the usual ingredients, add a dash of tumeric and cumin. Boom!

spaceapple on February 4, 2013 at 10:38 AM

I've know many authentic 100% Mexican folks who have made guacamole with mayonnaise. Go figure. Guacamole is best with as few ingredients as possible. I prefer chillies, tomato, salt, lime, and avocado.

The green sauce with tomatillo and avocado is fantastic. Roast green tomatoes, tomatillo, green chillies, garlic. Blend roasted veggies with cilantro, avocado, salt, and a touch of sour cream. It isn't guacamole but it is great on Michoacan carnitas.

McGee on February 4, 2013 at 12:56 PM

I Just Googled "Guacamole Secrets"

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