That's cool.

Goldie probably remembers this. In one of Philadelphia's crusty suburbs in the late 70s they converted a dilapidated jail into a restaurant. I was young, and never went, but liked the idea whenever my family drove by it.

Guys, I apologize.

I really do.

While I have already bidden thee farewell, I have come to the realization that there remains one task at hand.

What better place to do this than in a post dedicated to the airborne eating habits of those traversing to and fro relative to Ghana?

There is no better place.

The task at hand is to relate the aptly named 'Seattle Freeze' to our readers.

This is not something that can be related directly, in one sentence. It must be 'drawn', if you will, with a tale.

I will do so by relating my past three attempts at communicating with people in the street while within the confines of the city limits of Seattle.

On the streets. Not in any locale where a transaction is legally made, or in any sort of social setting, but on the streets.

Like Bruce Springsteen's streets, only without the trash fires and in Seattle.

These last three attempts at communicating in an open-air setting with mere mortals, have, admittedly, taken place over the course of months.

Because, really. Why fucking bother.

1. Girl wants me to give money to gayness.

I ask her why I would care.
She doesn't understand the question.
I repeat the question a good five times until she comes up with,

"Solidarity."

2. Girl wants me to give money to gayness.

I ask her if she wants to hang out tonight.

She tells me she does, if I want to talk about gayness.

3. I'm downtown, and guy is taking the last spot on a bike rack and the nearby ones are full.

I just want to check the price of something in a store, which means I'll be back within five minutes.

I ask guy, "How long are you going leave your bike here?"

He looks at me and asks, "What?"

I repeat the question.

He spreads his arms out in a manner indicating he is finally releasing his long-held desire to be knocked unconscious and have his pockets rifled through by the homeless to the world.

He asks me,

"What the fuck are you trying to say?"

I'd put down $100 on a degree somehow related to Interpersonal Communication.

Now truly, my fellow Stranger Geniuses.

Truly.

I bid thee farewell.

I vaguely remember going to an airplane-themed bar in New York 15 years ago

Jeez, In a five word headline you reference both the name of a movie and the way Bill O'Riley vocalized his surprise at the well mannered crowd he found in a restaurant full of African-Americans. Good job.

Hopefully the toilet is outside. There is nothing worse than an airplane lavatory in a parked plane.

@3, was it in Queens? It does ring a bell. I always wanted to go to the Marquis de Sade restaurant in New York (La Maison de Sade), but never got invited.

@2, I'd usually agree about the Seattle Freeze, but you're use of the term 'gayness' indicates you should move to Orange County, Vegas or Arizona where you can find other overage fratboys who used to belong to the Young Republicans.

#6, your use of The Imperialist English monikers assigned to the enslaved inhabitants of Southern California means you should move out of the fucking country.

Actually, I used to identify as a liberal. I just don't give a fuck any more.

And I never went to school.

Now stop responding to me so I can quit this shithole forever.

You're writing about this when you're in a city where people have for decades dined in a _rotating_ restaurant on the top of something called the Space Needle (designed to look like a space ship) ?

@8, yah brah.

Here, gotta clip for y'all. Another use of an old plane. My favorite comedian in the UK, Paul Merton, started doing travel documentaries a few years ago and he works very hard to show things that haven't already been filmed a zillion times. In India, he found a retired airline engineer who had bought a junked DC-9 and put it in his backyard. Every week he lets his fellow citizens...people who will most likely never know real air travel...go on a simulated journey. Here's the clip, which I loaded onto YouTube for a travel blogger a while ago: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPHJkYEb_…

People who bitch about the Freeze are the biggest passive-aggressives I've met in my life, whether they're longtime residents or transplants.

@8: "Actually, I used to identify as a liberal. I just don't give a fuck any more.

And I never went to school.

Now stop responding to me so I can quit this shithole forever."

1) your opinions are pretty much trumped by your actions
2) obviously
3) can't come soon enough.

http://www.solosrestaurant.com/
There is one in Colorado Springs. And, the McDonald's in my hometown in IL used an old train car for part of the seating.