"Oh, a giant teddy bear! Thank you! I will have so much fun trying to find a place in my apartment to put this fucking thing."

^^ my thoughts except for "house." and I have much better ideas on how to spend $100 + shipping. Not impressed.

Wait, are we supposed to fuck her first, or fuck the bear? I'm confused.

Perfect gift if you're twelve, but kids that age can't afford a four foot tall bear.

@3 I'm thinking you fuck her first. How romantic would it be to receive a soiled bear?

Saw this ad in the gym the other day, and it creeped me out more than the old guy who spent 20 minutes drying himself in front of the showers.

Great gift if you're married to a 5 year old girl.

If a woman wants this, I'm pretty sure she already has a room full of ratty stuffed toys.

I think that they entirely missed the post-coital-plush-cuddle-surrogate angle in their marketing.

Also: Only $100? What the hell is it stuffed with?

Ok, $100, and "guaranteed for life" (whose life?).
Right, I bet it begins falling apart within six months. Especially if its involved in any of these MFB threesomes.

Vaguely related story: I know someone who obtained many stuffed teddy bears of different sizes (all the same famous particular bear), and then sewed them all together and created a POOH-BALL!

True story. It's as funny in real life as it is fun to sit on.

Dan, I'm surprised that you didn't mention that Vermont Teddy Bear Company has sponsored Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck.

If a guy gave me a giant teddy bear for Valentine's Day, he'd get it back a month later for Steak and a Blowjob Day, in place of the steak and the blowjob.

@8,

What the hell is it stuffed with?

Broken promises.

I am not opposed to being presented with a bear for VD. If his name is Teddy and hails from Vermont, I can live with that as well. I have no issues with whatever size penis he cums with.

@11: is S&BJ Day a thing? because if so, I've been getting ripped off.

@14 sure is. March 14th. One of the better holidays in my opinion. Who doesn't like a steak and BJ?

Any partner of mine knows that there is only ONE teddy bear allowed in my bed when I'm having sex AND THAT THEY BETTER NOT FUCKING LOOK AT IT!!! Also; his name is Pooky. :)

@15 - It's about time someone saw to the physical needs and desires of men for once!

I would love to see a Ted (the movie) take on this commercial.... although the most enjoyable part of that movie, acting wise, was Mila Kunis. As it stands, it just makes me think of bear in Wilfred.
http://youtu.be/IYCPWf0EhVY?t=7m07s

Many years ago, I had a three week temp job at a call center taking orders for Vermont Teddy Bears during their Valentine's Day rush. For call-center work it was actually not too unpleasant, since the customers generally were pretty happy about ordering something "cute" and "romantic" or whatever.

My most memorable customer was the guy who had an accent like a mafioso from Providence, RI and ordered one teddy bear for his wife and one for his mistress.

@14 and 17 - Dan's talked about Steak and a Blowjob Day before. The idea is that Valentine's Day is supposedly a holiday for couples, but really it's all about the ladies getting all the romance and moosh they desire from their significant others. S&BJ Day comes exactly a month later and gives the gents what they desire from their significant others.

Incidentally, I'm of the female persuasion and can't stand Valentine's Day.

Ms Serpentina - Good for you. I occasional have found the day useful, as the observation of completely heterosexist promotional material for the day has frequently given me a good clue of one company or another NOT to patronize. The ones who depress me are the totally heterocentric same-sexers who give straight society the impression that we all live sexless lives with no greater thrill than bringing together straight couples and enhancing their Fabulous Quotient.

But I have a question. As one of the components of SBJD is supposed to be regularly on the menu and the other presumably isn't, what VD particulars would comprise their equivalents?

In case anyone actually does think this is a swell gift (I'm assuming your GF is 13), you can get giant teddy bears at Walgreens or TJ Maxx for $30.

This ad hits that sweet spot of weirdness between Madison Avenue and iPhone/iMovie. You know they spent money making it since those models aren't just VTB employees or someone's niece, but not enough money to keep it from being creepy.

@20 I'm with you on that. Valentine's day is stupid. I'm a girl but I would much rather have the steak and give the blowjob than the dumb girly pink crap for Valentines Day.
Just remember folks, BJ before steak.

I think if you have 100+ to burn on a prank, it'd be a great V-Day gag. LOOK HONEY I GOT YOU THIS HUGE FUCKING BEAR I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LETS FUCK just kidding I got you those earrings/books/playstation/gift certificate you wanted.