Film/TV Mar 2, 2014 at 5:24 pm

The 2014 Oscars Live-Slog!

David Schmader
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Comments

1
Best-dressed, anyone? I vote Lupita, in Nairobi Blue, as her tenth-best dress of the season is still better than anyone else's. Or is it Amy Adams in royal blue? Definitely not Cate Blanchett in nude.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 5:30 PM Report this
2
My shitty Costco-bought antenna doesn't have any useful channels so I can't watch! I scoured the web for non-ABC live streams and found nothing. Woe, woe.
innessfree on March 2, 2014 at 5:37 PM Report this
3
The real Captain Phillips is an asshole who deliberately endangered his ship and crew and is widely detested amongst his fellow captains, to say nothing of his crew, which is suing him. Not a hero.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 5:38 PM Report this
4
Penis joke!
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 5:39 PM Report this
5
@3: Have you seen A Hijacking? Great movie.

I wish I could say Julie Delpy was best dressed, but the yahoos on tv never showed her so I can't confirm.
stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 5:41 PM Report this
6
shit! i cannot find a live stream anywhere on the web for this. any suggestions, fnarf?
scary tyler moore on March 2, 2014 at 5:48 PM Report this
7
Pharrell's hat is back!
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 5:51 PM Report this
8
@6, nope, I got cable.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 5:52 PM Report this
9
The hat he wore at the Grammy awards just went for $44K on ebay:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Pharrell-William…

stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 5:54 PM Report this
10
Catherine Martin's dress is incredible, as befits a best costuming winner.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 6:01 PM Report this
11
Bring back the old Live Slog software!
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 6:06 PM Report this
13
I love how this french dood's hand is shaking.
stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 6:14 PM Report this
14
Let's be gracious about Kim Novak....poor dear. Love her spirit.
raindrop on March 2, 2014 at 6:16 PM Report this
15
Gidget!
Mr_Friendly on March 2, 2014 at 6:18 PM Report this
16
@14: Trivia: Novak is 4 years older than Bruce Dern. And she lives in Oregon!
stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 6:19 PM Report this
17
Here's the next background song for a UPS ad.
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on March 2, 2014 at 6:26 PM Report this
18
#2

Go to antennaweb.org

They will tell you where to point it for each station.

Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on March 2, 2014 at 6:29 PM Report this
19
OK I just turned it off.

Hollywood is infected.
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on March 2, 2014 at 6:50 PM Report this
20
U2 are beyond an embarrassment now. Bono needs to be put in a bag and drowned.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 6:58 PM Report this
21
Bono - nothing a plane crash in 1996 couldn't fix.
Clara T on March 2, 2014 at 7:00 PM Report this
22
I wish the live-slog went bottom to top, rather than top to bottom.
Foonken2 on March 2, 2014 at 7:01 PM Report this
23
Why did Tyler Perry walk out to the theme from Dances with Wolves? That was the only song that came to mind to introduce Nebraska?
on March 2, 2014 at 7:01 PM Report this
24
Is tonight the night that Twitter died?
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 7:04 PM Report this
25
It's the night head lice was spread in Hollywood.
stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 7:06 PM Report this
26
Lupita is as good a speechmaker as she is a dresswearer.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 7:19 PM Report this
27
"It's alright, but could we make it look more like a futuristic penis smashing out of a normal building?"
Clara T on March 2, 2014 at 7:27 PM Report this
28
Gravity's winning all these awards because everybody in Hollywood is afraid of Sandra Bullock.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 7:29 PM Report this
29
Whoopie's gown courtesy of Value Village.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 7:33 PM Report this
30
Three people are told to stand up for a bow and the camera lingers on Emma Watson and Whoopie?!
stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 7:35 PM Report this
31
Minus a few points for melisma but Pink pretty much killed that song.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 7:41 PM Report this
32
Is there a live-stream web site for the oscars?
ScandalMgr on March 2, 2014 at 7:43 PM Report this
33
Mrs. Fnarf points out that movies set in recent history always get shafted in costume and set design awards, especially if there's something from the Roaring Twenties up as well. That's so easy. The Seventies or Nineties are much harder to get right -- probably because nobody remembers the Twenties so it doesn't matter how wrong you are as long as you hit your marks with the cliches.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 7:48 PM Report this
34
8 women "heroes" in that montage?
stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 7:49 PM Report this
35
@30, I wouldn't mind lingering on Emma Watson.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 7:50 PM Report this
36
@6 Streaming on CTV (Canadian TV)
katrat on March 2, 2014 at 7:54 PM Report this
37
I wonder if Alain Resnais will make it into the death reel. What's the turnaround time on a thing like that?
bwouns on March 2, 2014 at 7:55 PM Report this
38
Has there ever actually been a *good* (much less great) Oscar telecast? I think it's an impossibility unless Joan Rivers and Don Rickels co-host it as a roast...
Andy Niable on March 2, 2014 at 7:57 PM Report this
39
Death Montage!

Fuck you, Tom Laughlin. I saw "Billy Jack". It, and you, were shit, shit, shit.

Elmore Leonard was cool though. And Annette! And Riz Ortolani! And Sid Caesar! And Juanita Moore! Hoffman last, as I said he would be.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 7:58 PM Report this
40
Oh Bette - you're forever amazing
raindrop on March 2, 2014 at 7:59 PM Report this
41
@37, I didn't see him. They got Harold Ramis in though -- there was a rumor they wouldn't.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 7:59 PM Report this
42
Bette Midler: death without dignity.
Clara T on March 2, 2014 at 8:00 PM Report this
43
@6, @32 This is the official stream from ABC. It may be a "teensy" bit overloaded right now:

http://abc.go.com/watch-live
Brooklyn Reader on March 2, 2014 at 8:01 PM Report this
44
Did I blink and miss Joan Fontaine, Julie Harris, Eleanor Parker and Deanna Durbin? Or were they among the "many deserving others"?
Fred Casely on March 2, 2014 at 8:01 PM Report this
45
Every time/Any time Bette sings "Wind Beneath My Wings" the camera should be required to cut away to Barbara Hershey (no matter where Ms. Hershey is...at home, driving, etc)
Tracy on March 2, 2014 at 8:02 PM Report this
46
@42: I suspect you wouldn't have posted that if I hadn't posted @40.
raindrop on March 2, 2014 at 8:05 PM Report this
47
OK, I know Goldy Hawn. I've been watching Goldy Hawn for more than forty years. THAT'S NOT GOLDY HAWN.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:06 PM Report this
48
Trivia: Bette Midler and Goldie Hawn (and Diane Keaton) are all 68
stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 8:06 PM Report this
49
44: You blinked!
David Schmader on March 2, 2014 at 8:07 PM Report this
50
@44, I saw all of those except Parker, I think.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:08 PM Report this
51
@44: I saw all you listed except Deanna (but I may have blinked).

I do wish the score to the collage hadn't been such a thou-shalt-cry-now John Barry's 'Somewhere in Time'.
raindrop on March 2, 2014 at 8:09 PM Report this
52
The lady from Glee knows her business. Pow!

Wait, the orchestra is off-site at Capitol Records? Bizarre.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:13 PM Report this
53
I don't approve of "blow" jokes in such a venue.
raindrop on March 2, 2014 at 8:13 PM Report this
54
@53, clutch your pearls tighter, then. They can take it.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:14 PM Report this
55
@47 precisely put, sir
katrat on March 2, 2014 at 8:16 PM Report this
56
@43: ABC is not providing live streaming in the Seattle market.

@33: You know that http://www.IMDB.com has a Goofs section right? That is where the astute reviews point out the discontinuities, such as in 12 yrs a Slave, where water Hyacinth was in the background, but historically not in the usa until 1930's.
ScandalMgr on March 2, 2014 at 8:18 PM Report this
57
The Lopezes just won the night.
Somethingunique on March 2, 2014 at 8:18 PM Report this
58
Robert Lopez has won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony! He gets to wear one of Tracy Morgan's EGOT necklaces!
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:18 PM Report this
59
@46 - what's the line from Mad Men? I don't think about you, ever.
Clara T on March 2, 2014 at 8:21 PM Report this
60
What Jake is he talking about?
cuzcatlan on March 2, 2014 at 8:21 PM Report this
61
Leto 2016!
on March 2, 2014 at 8:22 PM Report this
62
@56, I did not. But now I do. Awesome, and thank you. That spiritual they were singing was suspiciously modern-sounding too. They should have had the actors listen to some Dinwiddie Colored Quartette or something to get the sound at least in the right century.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:24 PM Report this
63
Finally a shot of dreamy Julie Delpy!
stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 8:29 PM Report this
64
@60: Jake Gyllenhaal
raindrop on March 2, 2014 at 8:32 PM Report this
65
Shit, Gravity won director? Is this going to rank with "biggest Oscar flubs"?

It's all about the butt-kissing, isn't it?
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:36 PM Report this
66
@65. Yes. Always has been.
raindrop on March 2, 2014 at 8:37 PM Report this
67
I gotta get me one of these new curved TVs because, uh, uh, they're, uh, expensive I guess?
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:40 PM Report this
68
I really don't understand the huge hate-on some people have for the space movie. It was a really good space movie.
robotslave on March 2, 2014 at 8:40 PM Report this
69
This is really delaying my True Detective watching. Get it over with already!
stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 8:43 PM Report this
70
Cate Blanchett - Horary! I amend my comment in 66. This was truly spot on!
raindrop on March 2, 2014 at 8:44 PM Report this
71
30-second speech limit next time, please.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:48 PM Report this
72
Wow. And Cate managed to give her acceptance speech without mentioning Woody Allen!
raindrop on March 2, 2014 at 8:48 PM Report this
73
@72: Yes she did.
stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 8:49 PM Report this
74
Riddle me this: why are the boxes so little when they show all the nominees at once? Presenter was in top row, two nominees in row two, three nominees in bottom row. Lots of empty space.
stinkbug on March 2, 2014 at 8:53 PM Report this
75
Jesus Christ, this McConaughey dude is crazy.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:55 PM Report this
76
@65

Fnarf, you are an idiot (sometimes) of course Gravity won best director. assembling a film like that was a huge technical achievement. kinda makes up for Nolan not winning for Inception. . .
on March 2, 2014 at 8:56 PM Report this
77
I read that 75% of the American population saw zero of these movies.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:57 PM Report this
78
@76 I don't like technical achievements.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 8:59 PM Report this
79
@78

Then you'd probably better stick to the stage instead of the screen. Technical achievement is intrinsic to film; movies simply wouldn't exist without it.
robotslave on March 2, 2014 at 9:02 PM Report this
80
I would like to thank Mr. Schmader for hosting this magnificent event, and I also have to thank the Renegade Wine Co. of Mattawa, Washington for getting me through it.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 9:03 PM Report this
81
@75: What, just because he mentions God? Would you rather have a rambling drunk/stoned slurring winner?
raindrop on March 2, 2014 at 9:04 PM Report this
82
At what point did they stop doing the voiceover announcements, as in "This is Cate Blanchett's second Oscar, having won previously for "The Aviator"? And why?
Fred Casely on March 2, 2014 at 9:05 PM Report this
83
@79, rubbish, total rubbish. The cinematographer and special effects fellows get their own award. Giving a director credit -- awards, even -- for technological achievements instead of artistic ones is exactly why movies are so shitty today.
Fnarf on March 2, 2014 at 9:06 PM Report this
84
@81 I thought he was.
Brooklyn Reader on March 2, 2014 at 9:06 PM Report this
85
And Hollywood lovingly autofellates into the sunset. G'night everybody!
Clara T on March 2, 2014 at 9:08 PM Report this
86
@83 Movies are shitty today because all the studios are either trying to make blockbusters, or just crank out filler for the view-at-home market.

There are very few producers trying to make art.
Brooklyn Reader on March 2, 2014 at 9:11 PM Report this
87
@ 87
it's the director that puts it all together, if only the special effects and/or cinematography is good you can still have a bad film. . .
on March 2, 2014 at 9:29 PM Report this
88
Thanks, Ellen DeGeneres, for using the punchy, anti-aircraft gun style delivery of Elayne Boosler without any of her rapier wit and pithy lines.

Here are some of the hi-larious non-jokes, carefully documented by USA today which they list as the best lines (?):

• "He's from Somalia — a sommelier — so he knows a lot about wine. That is impressive. Who's the wine captain now?"

• "Who are we kidding, it's The Hunger Games. There's cameras everywhere, you're starving and Jennifer Lawrence won last year."

• "Possibility No. 1: 12 Years a Slave wins best picture. Possibility No. 2: You're all racists. And now, welcome our first white presenter, Anne Hathaway."

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/movie…

Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on March 2, 2014 at 10:11 PM Report this
89
Yay Frozen and Let It Go!
Hanoumatoi on March 2, 2014 at 10:27 PM Report this
90
why. will. smith. ?.
reverend dr dj riz on March 2, 2014 at 10:40 PM Report this
91
So the Oscars is about movies, right?

Did I get that part right?
ctmcmull on March 2, 2014 at 10:42 PM Report this
92
@86, I agree with you, but: in the old days a lot of that filler WAS art, in retrospect. B Movies are often terrific. Of course, a lot of them were terrible, and those are a lot less likely to be showing on AMC anytime soon, which distorts the impression, but still.

I would argue that filler is actually more likely to be interesting today than blockbusters, because nothing kills a movie faster than money. I'd like to see guys like Scorsese make movies on $5 million or less. Maybe then they'd focus on the characters and the story and not the whiz-bang. They'd have to get better actors, of course, but good actors come cheaper than bad ones.
Fnarf on March 3, 2014 at 10:20 AM Report this
93
ABC's Resurrection is not the american version of The Returned. The American version of Les Revenants is being developed by A&E and possibly Carlton Cuse. Resurrection is based on the novel American novel The Returned by Jason Mott. Not to be confused with NBC's pilot Babylon Fields about dead rising with Skeet Ulrich. Imitation, flattery and so on.
on March 3, 2014 at 8:58 PM Report this
94
I still can't believe Robert Redford gave the performance of his lifelong acting career only to be left to die in the Indian Ocean?!? Not even a nomination! WTF, Academy?
auntie grizelda on March 3, 2014 at 11:58 PM Report this
95
I mean, what?!? All because he didn't have a 600 lb Bengal tiger or a volleyball to talk to?!?
auntie grizelda on March 3, 2014 at 11:59 PM Report this

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