Comments

1
Can we please have a moratorium on these stupid sandwich board signs blocks away from these apartment building$ blocking the sidewalk?
2
You might also want to avoid it if you are the conniving wife of a dim-witted mechanic.
3
I knew which building this was from the headline.
5
Well, "Deathtrap" or "Roach Motel" would certainly qualify, but I get your point.
6
I think "Honey Bucket Apts" would be worse. But if you think that people are going to associate the actual story with the name, rather than the Jazz Age excess that people still want to indulge, I think you're overestimating The Great Gatsby's place in American culture (as opposed to American literature and art).
7
"Brilliant views of Space Needle, city skyline and elusive green light."
8
A stroll up 16th St NW in DC will take you past a building recently rechristened The Fitzgerald, which offers "Gatsby Living at Carroway Rents,"
9
What you mean is, are you a vain, sad-sack shell of a man who wants to end up dead in a swimming pool after you've nailed the girl of your dreams a few times?

I would say Bananafish Apartments would be worse.
10
They're probably for people who only read the first part of the book.
11
Pearl, anyone? It has the clitoral tagline, "Find Your Pearl."
12

Welcome to Gregor Samsa Flats!

You'll wake up a new man...er...creature...insect, really.
13
The only thing worse is living across the street from the construction of said apartment building for a year and half only to wake up one day to having them named Gatsby. The cringe was felt across the world, because now I live across the street from the fucking Gatsby and the $2800 one bedroom apartments. There goes the neighborhood!
14
The hands-down winner of awful, tacky apartments/condos has to be that godawful overblown Italian-esque monstrosity at Fourth and Virginia. They are probably very nice spaces, with doubtless wonderful views, but what a complete dog of a building.
15
@14 Escala. Even the name is barf. It's a little taste of Fort Lauderdale... in Seattle!
16
To be fair, the last great apartment building to go up in Seattle was probably Panorama House. That was probably the last one with a good name, also.
17
1) probably didn't read the book
2)Can we please have a moratorium on these stupid sandwich board signs blocking the sidewalk? (I amended this one to could we please get rid of these? It's just ridiculous to have five in one spot. And I don't even live on Capital Hill.)
18
It's annoying that the top of the starburst shape isn't cut out correctly.
19
The Auschwitz on Broadway would be worse.
21
In other apartment/housing news, that new Green Lake Village complex is crazily massive. 300 units (450 parking spots).
22
In Los Angeles, on Overland, we have the Crapi apartments.
23
I think the Nathan Bedford Forrest Apartments would be a worst name.

At least the Penthouses can be labelled East Egg and West Egg.
24
Hey, didn't Paul already post the same complaint? (Not that this dumb name isn't stupid enough to merit multiple posts...)
25
Take a picture with your iPhone on the way to the taco truck and post that shit, bitch!
26
I have an idea. Segregate posts like these into a separate blog, and toss in restaurant reviews and music criticism. Call it something different. "Time Out"? Something like that. Leave Jen for The Slog, though.

Just an idea.
27
I believe there is still a "Falen Apartments" in Fremont.
28
@14 The Escala! OMG and holy crap! Neo-pseudo-proto-Greco bonanza, where the quasi-greek motif around the cornice looks just like the Motel 6 logo! The tower itself is quite mundane, but that base--hoo-eee. I was told that the lobby is that much and more, so I strolled in the other day to see it and was promptly bounced by the officious concierge.
So, Catalina dear, though we will never agree on the City Light building, we certainly do on this one. xxxooo
29
#17

A while back I was strolling up Prefontaine, and there was a sandwich board that said "Punch" on it. So I reached down and punched it, lightly with my fist. Several concerned curators of the Punch Gallery cascaded outside shaking their heads at me manhandling their sign. I gave them a look. "Well, it said ... " Guess Dada isn't one of their specialties.
30
Other questionable names:

House of Mirth Apartments
Beloved Apartments
Bluest Eye Apartments
Shining Apartments
Death of a Salesman Apartments
31
@29 - Nor is common sense one of yours.
32
@17, they actually are illegal in the city. I've thrown a few in dumpsters like discarded litter.
33
@32 is correct in some circumstances.
http://www.djc.com/blogs/SeattleScape/20…

Personally, I find the sidewalk cafes that encroach more annoying as a pedestrian. The Greenlake Bar and Grill cage along the greenlake drive side pops up sun umbrellas (shorter than 8 ft clearance), dog dishes outside the fence, bike racks and light poles and parking meters, and reduces the sidewalk to a two foot passage with an overhang, despite regulations requiring 5 ft. http://www.seattle.gov/transportation/ca…
https://www.google.com/maps/@47.680508,-…
34
I can think of way worse apartment names. They don't give a shit about the book, they're banking on the name. And they'll get tons of applicants so it doesn't matter anyway.

Capitalism. Commercialism. It'll work because blah blah blah what's that? who cares?! Buzz word!
35
As usual, you are all wrong again. "Gatsby" is the single and most honest name for a new apartment building on Capitol Hill or Seattle for that matter. Move here and reinvent yourself. Move here and be that success you always wanted to be and told anyone who would listen you would become. Move here and she might actually love you. Move here and you can perpetuate the scam that is your youth.
36
There's a townhouse development (maybe it's condos) out on Cougar Mountain called Satomi - I didn't think anything about it until a friend of mine completely innocently and accidentally pronounced it "sodomy." Now it's all I think of when I see it, and I laaaafffff.

She wasn't very bright ... there's another neighborhood out that way called Montreaux and she pronounced it "montrocks." The kicker? She was a real estate agent ... :)
37
I live in the Slothrop.
38
@12 nice, but i would actually rent that. Only Klamm House would be more to my liking.
39
@ChefJoe Well, four feet is the legal minimum, not five. But agreed, often not even that width is maintained.

Funniest name, to me, was the building in Ballard named 'Steve's Apartments'. I always figured Steve was a huge prick for naming an entire building after him.
40
Don't forget that gorgeous purple-tiled building across from the Stimpson-Green Mansion on Minor and Seneca, Ms. Vel Du-Ray. No catchy name, but at least as glam as the Panorama.

If you've never seen the inside of the apartments at the Olive 8... so Gatsby-esque.
41
I dunno, I thought the Undre Arms was pretty bad.
42
@39,
The downtown urban core requires 6 ft with a 4 ft visual corridor.
43
I'm royally annoyed by the one called "Belay" on 15th Avenue in Ballard. How the term for holding a rope while someone else climbs is appropriate for an apartment building's name confounds me. I think they probably just liked the way it sounds.
44
There's one by my place called the Vertigo. I know that they're trying for a cool, sleek San Francisco post mod Hitchcock thing but, really...it's a disease.

How about the Impatigo, the Eczema, the Cirrhosis?
45
@43, Being Ballard, I read it in the nautical context of making a line fast to a cleat or "belaying pin" on a boat. Still, a stupid name for a building.

My favorite in Ballard? "The Heidi", one could imagine a hot blonde in pigtails, holding two huge frosty mugs of beer, awaiting your return after a hard day's work!
46
Six shooter dear, I've been in that building, and it's lovely, but it has no balconies. Balconies - real balconies, not those weird 1' deep ones - are essential for really glamorous living. Would Doris Marin live in an apartment without a balcony? The answer is no.

There's also that one on northish Capitol Hill, west of Broadway. The Lamplighter? That one's pretty glam. And, of course, the Maison Ville.
47
Let's not forget the Elektra, Ms. Vel-DuRay. No amount of polish will shine that turd.

I'd move the the Marlborough, but you need more than a fancy name and round walls for me to cross Boren for longer than absolutely necessary. "Down" town, indeed.
48
It's only a matter of time before Capitol Hill sees the opening of Bukowski Suites.
49
I can think of a worse one: Aspira. Though maybe they're condos.
50
SB's Italian Villas.
51
Along these lines, Sauk Centre, the down in central Minnesota where Sinclair Lewis is from, and the place on which he based his fictional Gopher Prairie for the novel Main Street, apparently really prides itself on being linked to a famous author. Except, instead of signs shouting, "Hometown of Sinclair Lewis!" there are signs EVERYWHERE proclaiming, "The ORIGINAL Main Street!!!" Umm...did you guys read the book? You know that's not a good thing right? It's really trippy.
52
Unbelievably idiotic and vomitous, like the so-called Arthaus at 735 Federal Ave East.

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