Go visit Divine's grave! http://findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?pag…

Was just in Baltimore:
Faidley's crab cakes in Lexington market
Edgar Allen Poe's grave
Walter art museum
and the library at the Peabody Institute.

Eat Bertha's mussels.

OK, I know Baltimore, or at least did a dozen years ago.

The Mount Royal Tavern is extremely legit. Check out the ceiling (a replica of the Sistine Chapel's, painted by a student from the adjacent Maryland Institute decades ago in exchange for a lifetime of free beer - true story.) Well curated jukebox. Food is limited to bar pizza from a little countertop oven (if they still have it. Of course you should get it.) My fondest memory there is of it being the only place open for a mile around after a 12" snowstorm. The bartender gave out home-made cherry bombs to everyone who came in. Rock fucking solid.

The Brewer's Art if you like belgian-style beers a whole lot and don't care about much else. But if you do, this is the place to go.

Club Charles for crippling cocktails and no bullshit. You probably won't run into John Waters here, but you might.

The Owl Bar is swanky but has both adequate food and good beer. I like it late at night.

Fuck it, go to them all. That's what I'd do. Baltimore is seriously underrated.

Also, the American Visionary Art Museum aka the outsider art museum. It is seriously worth checking out. Do that first then go get drunk at the MRT.

Fuck crab cakes, the peabody, the lexington market, etc. Seattle got all that tourist shit already. Really.

I'm with @1. I lived there for several years and am honestly struggling to come up with much of anything to recommend. The Visionary Art Museum referenced above always had some real neat installations (they'd dedicate shows to things produced by prisoners or institutionalized folks, etc, some pretty neat stuff) but then I just tried going to their website and was redirected to a search page, so am not even sure it still exists.

I'd probably take a stroll through Hampden, which has some nice places to eat & drink and where you'll probably recognize some landmarks from John Waters films.

Go to the historic Lexington Market. It's not in the best part of town but who cares? It's where the locals eat. It's got great food from all over the world plus awesome oyster bars. And it's not that expensive.

http://www.lexingtonmarket.com/

John Waters reccs:
http://baltimore.about.com/od/artsentert…

Also go see Edgar Allen Poe's grave and museum.

Oh yeah, Hampden has some good spots too. The Golden West was good eats. Really though the best things in Baltimore are the bars and the people in them. At least, that's my recollection.

I don't mean to hate on the Lexington Market - locals go too, just like the Pike Place Market. It's also a tourist destination, just like the Pike Place Market. (Or the Granville Market in Vancouver, or the St. Lawrence Market in Toronto.) Just saying if you're pressed for time and you're not super into city markets and you've been to one before, it won't change your life.

Oh yeah, MRT is cash-only. I almost forgot about that. You should still go. I wish I could go there right now.

And though my time there was mostly forgettable, I can't really disagree with anything from @6 either (and maybe it was only so forgettable because I spent so much time at all those fucking bars.)

The Visionary Art Museum is really wonderful. Don't miss it.

http://www.avam.org

Go to Oldtown Mall with an expensive video camera, a Confederate flag t-shirt, and a hundred dollar bill hanging out of your back pocket.

Brewer's art! Golden West! American Visionary Museum! Avocado milkshakes at the cafe at the American Visionary Museum!

Lived in Baltimore for 8 or 9 years, loved it. @6 is spot-on, though a decade ago at least the Brewers Art had great food upstairs as well as my favorite basement bar in town. (The rosemary-garlic fries are worth remembering, and their beers are stellar.)

Baltimore is definitely a drinking town, and Brewer's and Owl Bar are only half a block apart, so if you're pressed for time just do that.

Emily you have to tell us if you ended up doing any of this stuff.

More traditional day stuff, if you're stuck tomorrow:
The Walters Art Gallery has a large collection of ancient art. The Cone Collection (friends of Gertrude Stein) at the Baltimore Art Museum has an unparalleled collection of turn-of-the-(last)-century art, especially Matisse. And if you're into trains, the B&O Museum (not far from the Poe Grave) has 'em all, back to the oldest.
No crabs, they're not in season. Oysters galore.

Oh my god, DO NOT go to Golden West. What is wrong with people? That place sucks (unless, of course, you want to pay top dollar for shitty food). A block away from there is Food Market, which is even topper dollar, but is actually worth the money.

Golden West is the kind of place which, if it were in a top tier city, would be out of business within a year, but since it's in Baltimore it thrives. We've got a lot of those.

Go eat at THE HELMAND - http://www.helmand.com/, incredible, tasty Afghan food! Plus it's near one of America's most phallic monuments and the Walter's Art Gallery.

And like many have mentioned the Visionary Art Museum is well worth a visit.

Blacks in Wax museum!!
http://www.greatblacksinwax.org

Ps are you coming to philly next? I want to see your show!

If you're there on Monday go to the Orioles home opener against the Red Sox.

When I was there a couple years ago I had to work most of the time, but I got to sneak away to see the Mariners beat the Orioles from four rows behind home plate at Camden Yards on a 95 degree day with a light rain. One of the most memorable games I've seen.

#23 nails it, the Helmand is fantastic. Owned by Hamid Kharzai's brother, Qayum Karzai, Helmand serves delicious Afghan fare in a casual yet elegant room. The MICA is worth a visit http://www.mica.edu/. SALT in East Baltimore is both excellent and in a neighborhood worth exploring.

The Peabody Library is more mind-blowing, nothing in Seattle remotely touches it. Yes to the Visionary too. I was raised at the Club Charles, 100% Baltimore. Walk around the Olmstead designed Roland Park neighborhood. Stop by Artifact Coffee on the way.

Avoid the "Inner Harbor", little Italy and even most of Fells Point. Drive along North Avenue and see the lingering effects of drugs, the war on drugs and failed public policy.

Baltimore is fascinating, nuanced, stately, Black, WASPy, poor, elegant, broke, broken, coming-back, slipping away, real and always worth getting to know.

How the hell did I miss this post? I live in Baltimore! #6 Nieuw Hollander has it just about right. Peabody's awesome, too. You might try Harlan's or Rye if you like Prohibition-type cocktails as well.

Thanks for the hot tips everyone!

I actually like Baltimore and wish we could have hung around longer! We've only played there once before, but the wild vibe is nice in small doses. Did see Poe's grave, there were no spooky séances happening. MRT is in fact legit! Did much drinking, played a place called Metro Gallery, tried to walk around the neat neighborhoods but couldn't deal with the cold—it was freezing! Killer Trash was great (reportedly one of John Waters' favorite thrift stores?), and I got a couple Star Trek zines at Atomic Books.

@26 - We play Philly tomorrow! At a place called the Golden Tea House!