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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
#SlogMissedConnection
Smalltalk is out during commuting hours. People are in their routine, and in their heads. You can try, but you'll be catching them off.guard.
Bless you for your efforts.
You also might do better trying to chat with service workers you see on a more regular basis. I tend to engage in small talk with the folks at my local Met Market, but I've been shopping there a few times a week for eight years.
I've met you and conversed with you. I've found our encounters and subsequent conversations however brief, most pleasant. But, we don't engage in small talk. Like @4, I suck at small talk and probably don't like it as well.
I sense from your posting that you might NOT like it either ...subconsiously. Idle chatter isn't necessarily easy for all Americans. It may be that some Americans need something to loosen them up to engage in small talk. For me, alcohol comes to mind.:)
I have yet to figure out small talk in bars. Especially when the music is so loud I can't hear people talking anyway.
I've worked counter job, and as a waiter, and I promise you, even lowly counter workers appreciate compassion and humility.
The best thing you can do is STFU and listen to them, and perhaps ask inquisitive questions. Be careful of who you do this to, though, because the person will start to like you (I've been listened to! :D ) and you may have difficulty getting rid of them if they are an annoying personality.
@22 - I too have a problem with people saying "good morning, how are you?". 98% of the time they don't actually mean "how are you?", it's just a glib way of saying 'hello'. So what response are you supposed to give? "Fine!" That's what. Even when you feel shitty, tired, out of sorts, etc. So they are asking you to lie to them for social convenience, I hate it. I never ask "how are you" unless I actually want to know, and I don't answer the question except with a hearty "Hello!" or "Good morning!". Don't ask me to lie to you. It's stupid.
@28 - Wow, you really are a condescending person aren't you. Jesus. Why would you even say that?
If I were to hazard a guess, you may have been trying to tell them something, as opposed to asking something. Or it may have been a moment that was inappropriate for small talk. And yeah, I'd avoid it on the buses around here, generally. Esp. during rush hours.
YMMV
I'd echo @10, replacing the annoyance with fondness, probably because I'm from New Orleans and I miss winding conversations -- sometimes emotional, often really surprising -- with people I don't know. That said, I'm disturbed when it's clear that someone is talking -at- me -- talking just to talk because I look or act like I'll listen so they just go on and on. That's not the culture in the storytelling south -- humans connecting with humans -- even for a few minutes --- is a different deal than WORDS ON AIR ON EARS. It's the same with the East Coast, I think.
All this to say: I don't think there's anything wrong with only asking questions that there's no scripted answer for (who writes the scripts??). And even if you were, as someone suggested, "telling" the cashier something, what's wrong with that? An observation, statement, or even declaration from a writer I respect sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.
When I talk about going off of scripts, I'm not talking about unnecessary confrontations with anyone, just to be clear.
Charles, I'm sure you would have much better luck in many other areas of the country. People are likely to be more curious about you, for one thing. I don't know why this is so, even in Seattle, where such a large percentage of people come from other parts of the country.
Sometimes I'm just really in a zone where I want to get what I want and go, and the "how are you" will throw me for a loop. Sometimes I'll do what you do and say "tall latte" instead of responding to the question; other times I'll really rush through the obligatory "hello, how are you, yadda yadda". I always feel vaguely guilty when this happens, but I figure, of all potential rude customer behavior, that ranks pretty low.
@38,
It's just the culture here. I'm usually okay rolling with it, especially since sometimes the fake nicey-nice you get elsewhere is also kind of grating. And I will say in defense of Seattle is that it's very rare when you encounter someone who's explicitly rude or nasty.
There are some definite turn-offs -- talking too loud, or too insistently, going on over a large or complex point before the person has actually signaled engagement, being overtly judgmental, negative, self-involved, manic etc. People who work with the public get a good nose for who is going to be uncomfortable to interact with. But again, I don't think those are regional so much -- or even peculiarly American.
But Charles, what's with the "you Americans"? You are an American, or did you block it out already! :)
Seriously. Try sharing some casual feelings with a Czech guy some time. Like talking to a piece of plywood.
Go back east and I guarantee you will find people talking to you on the street. That's where most Americans live anyway.
http://sperglord.files.wordpress.com/201…
Don't forget that you live in one of the weirder places in the U.S. -- the mossy forgotten left hand corner in the clouds.
Thank you for the phrase, " mossy forgotten left hand corner in the clouds". That's beautiful.
I like that comparison.