Comments

1
Nice to hear a recent emigre's view of Seattle. I totally agree with the statement about being afraid to walk to a curb.
2
Whatever you do, don't use the fridge.
3
I typically hold back several feet from the curb until I think it will inconvenience the fewest amount of cars for me to cross. It irks me when a car stops for me making me feel like I now have to cross when I could easily have waited 10 seconds and crossed when no cars are coming.
4
As your next task, can you let us know what happened with Danielle? We were enjoying her work and then -PooF-
5
Lake Merritt is a treasure. Welcome to The Stranger! Beware, though; some of the commenters on Slog are very sick motherfuckers indeed -- deeply warped and damaged individuals with chips on their shoulders and bile in their veins. Like me, for instance.
6
Brogrammers, thankfully, aren't really a thing up here.
7
Or as much of a thing. There are always going to be douchebags in every industry.
8
@4: We miss Danielle like crazy. She wrote about quitting her job here for Rookie.
9
Listen, hey . . . fuck Dan Savage.
10
She sounds so indie and edgy!
11
Thanks Christopher! Sad news, but so it goes. Welcome to the Stranger Kathleen, and good luck keeping these reprobates in line.
12
Welcome!
13
Hope you make it outside Capitol Hill once in a while. You'll find entire neighborhoods with nary a pair of cat's-eye glasses.
14
Kathleen Richards, if you're reading: Woolly Mammoth on University Way NE for shoes.
15
This is nice—thank you, Christopher. It meets my Emily Post expectations.

Dear Ms. Richards:

Welcome! I trust that you and The Stranger fulfill each others' fondest wishes.

I do hope you will not neglect the importance of ergonomics in the workplace. Coming from the East Bay, you will no doubt be accustomed to office furniture cast off from Pixar and Bio-Rad, or at the very least whatever floated over from Amgen and Affymetrix. The only new thing in your current workaday cocoon appears to be the telephone, so don't hesitate to twist arms (and even indulge in mild blackmail) to secure those appurtenances that will maintain health and mental clarity.

Most sincerely—

rob!
16
sorry, who was managing editor before?
17
@16 - Based on the question "What did you do with Bethany?" and its answer, I'm guessing it was Bethany. Just a guess, though.
18
Are you related to Keith Richards?
19
Blindly guessing your age from your photo, I've been reading the Stranger probably since you were in grade school (since sometime in the mid-1990s).

Please take good care of it.

It may take you some time to understand the bizarre person that is Charles Mudede, but please realize that some of us consider him a national treasure, even if I don't always understand or agree what the hell he's talking about.

People have been unusually nice to you so far because you are experiencing the nicest weeks of weather that Seattle typically sees. Everyone is nice this time of year. The knives will come out about mid way through our long, dreary, grey winter. :-)

Good luck!
20
To expand upon @2, don't touch anything in the office that you didn't personally bring into the office, and don't even touch them if another Stranger employee has touched it. In particular, avoid the fridge, the coffeepot, and the bathroom. It's OK to collect your documents off the printer, but use latex gloves (I believe Bethany has a box of gloves you can use). Don't plug anything worth more than $5 into any electrical outlet.

Don't sit in that chair. Not that one either.

Don't look at Nipper for more than two seconds or he will write a blog post about how you're coming on to him. Don't pass within six feet of Charles's desk or it will topple over on you. Never take Christopher up on his offer to "see some pictures from my party this weekend". If Paul visits your desk, it's only because he wants to leave a stack of terrible free books with you. Never give Dan any indication that you are aware of his presence or even his existence. Don't let Kelly vomit in your trash can no matter how nicely she asks.

Do not accept gifts of food from anyone; they probably contain poo or dead mice (or live insects).
21
Oh, and on the cookie front: Buy some nasty dollar store brand and let the bag sit open in your apartment for a month before bringing them in. For milk, fill a 2% milk carton with buttermilk. He'll stop asking.
22

Oh, oh.

It sound like shakeup time at the SLOG ranch.

No more rolling out of bed to the computer to change a few words in yesterday's post, add in a few new facts from Gawker and then plan the day's activity at the coffee shop, skate park and soccer field.

This boss lady appear to be serious.
23
"Everyone stops for you"*

* Stopping for you void outsie two-block radius. Some conditions may apply.
24
@9: I think that's going to prove difficult. He's not into that.
25
You had me at Sara Lund. Welcome to Seattle!
26
If you are still reading the comments about you then your assimilation is complete, and you can stop now.

One more thing, there isn't actually anybody named Goldy. He is somebody commenters just made up just to be assholes.
27
@20, weed, you forgot weed, everything offered to you has weed in it.
28
"Maybe I just caught people in that weird, friendly, sunny moment." Yes Kathleen, good guess. It's true. Enjoy the rest of the summer!
29
Hello new train-on-time-maker! Hope you have fun at The Stranger!
30
Oh dear, sounds like she has already been street harassed by both a guy and a girl
31
Do something about ansel.
32
Welcome to Seattle!
33
Aw yeah. More metalheads doing things. Long may the disciples of the dark wizard infiltrate the institutions of the Earth.
34
@31
Yes, Get Ansel to so some work and try to be a real reporter rather than do "advocacy journalism" where he can ignore facts when inconvenient. (Such as with Barton foreclosure.)
35
Even your shoes are earnest. I like that
36
Even your shoes are earnest. I like that

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