Advice for people who work here: Realize all that you have. Cue sparkle fingers.
Webinar advice for people who work here: "Be willing to give up some money." Aaaand sparkle fingers! Mat Hayward/Shutterstock

The Union-Busting Space Needle Pulled a McDonald's: Oh dear lord. KIRO got their hands on maybe the worst PowerPoint presentation in the world, delivered by a financial consultant nicknamed "Shags" to Space Needle workers who happen to be asking for a raise. Remember that time McDonald's distributed sample budget sheets suggesting that its employees work two jobs and forgo the luxury of heat? This is maybe as bad as that, though the newsletter containing the webinar did technically come from APS Healthcare, a company that partners with the Space Needle. Among Shags's suggestions: "Be willing to give up some money." Also: "Realize all that you have." Cue hundreds of eyeballs rolling back into heads, hard.

At Least There Are Places to Take Your Parents Other Than the Space Needle: According to the know-it-alls over at Seattlish, that is.

Port Angeles Hospital Sets Up Isolation Tent for Measles Screenings: Last week, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that Washington State had two measles cases related to the Disney outbreak in December. Last night, however, the Peninsula Daily News reported that four more patients on the Olympic Peninsula are now being tested for the virus. It turns out that an unvaccinated little girl may have exposed her classmates at the Olympic Christian School to the measles, and now all unvaccinated students are under quarantine. The Olympic Medical Center has even set up an emergency screening tent to try and further prevent the spread of a preventable disease.

A University of Washington Student Is Missing, and His Family Wants Your Help: Tan Nguyen, 20, hasn't been seen since he went missing on Wednesday from his home in Bellevue.

Pacific Northwest Early Earthquake Detection System Goes Live Today: The University of Washington's earthquake software would send early warnings—sometimes just a matter of seconds before the ground shifts—to local emergency managers. "If Seattle had an early warning system for earthquakes in 2001, residents would have had about 14 seconds before they felt the Nisqually quake," KUOW reports. Boeing, Microsoft, Sound Transit, and a group of other organizations will be some of the first to test the new system. But what would it mean for cars already on the Alaskan Way Viaduct?

Maybe this is what an eagle looks like right before it hits a windshield.
Maybe this is what an eagle looks like right before it hits a windshield. Colin Edwards Wildside/Shutterstock

Bald Eagle Smacks into Kirkland Woman's Windshield: The Associated Press reports that a bald eagle (!) crashed into a woman's car on I-405. State troopers tried to capture the eagle and take it to an animal hospital, but the freedom-loving bird flew away to a place where Obamacare could never get it.

King County Superior Court's Judge Susan Craighead Publishes Harsh Take on the Juvie Detention Center Protesters: On Monday, Judge Craighead published an editorial in The Stranger that invited more community members to help tackle racial disproportionality in the juvenile justice system. It was an attempt to delicately address concerns over the new juvenile detention center and maybe win over more active supporters. But Judge Craighead's other editorial, this one addressed to colleagues in the criminal justice system in the King County Bar Bulletin, has much harsher words for the juvie’s opposition movement: The judge describes it as "a growing cancer on the body politic." Read both versions of the argument here and here. (And then read the opposing opinion here.)

Breast Milk Is Seattle's New Coconut Water: Or maybe coconut water was the new breast milk. Either way, KOMO News reports on a new, dubious breast-milk-purchasing "trend." According to the story, at least one area CrossFit aficionado has asked a new mother for her breast milk as some sort of performance booster.

A home split in half by the Oso mudslide that killed 43 people in 2014.
A home split in half by the Oso mudslide that killed 43 people in 2014. Kelly O

Seattle Times Wins George Polk Award for Oso Mudslide Investigative Reporting: The Polk award, which is like an Oscar for journalists, specifically highlighted two stories on the deadly mudslide by Mike Baker, Justin Mayo, and Ken Armstrong. Read them here and here.

ICYMI, Here's Ruth Bader Ginsburg Explaining Her Wine Buzz at the State of the Union: The 81-year-old Supreme Court justice told a George Washington University auditorium that she wasn't 100 percent sober during the president's speech. Turns out that she had a dinner "so delicious, it needed wine." We obviously concur, Justice Ginsburg. For you, however much wine you determine goes with dinner is exactly the right amount of wine one should have at dinner.