It should be NO surprise that, as I'm a record nerd, I take (guilty) pleasure in picking through the, um, record-nerd things watchable on YouTube™. But, rather than watching album reviews or learning how to craft LPs into bowls, I mostly watch YouTube™-torials of punters washing their records; I think for every person who has ever bought a record, you can find a person who has invented some novel approach to cleaning their vinyl. Seriously, 'cause as seen on YouTube™, there are about one MILLION ways to clean records. I've seen folks using wood glue, machines attached to a wetvac, and a steam cleaner, while others use window cleaner and a towel. However, my most recent "discovery" is this guy, whose process is VERY intensive. If you chose to clean your records his way, you'll need: a bathtub, an old mixer (taped, and vise-gripped, to the edge of your bathtub), melamine sponges, a "piece of cloth," distilled water, a handmade "record holder" fashioned from old mixer parts, and a complete disregard for the planet's strained fresh water supply.

I wonder how well this works on 45s? HA-HA—kidding! Really, he's working a lot to clean ONE record. I occasionally have 40, or maybe 400 records to wash at a time, so spending even FIVE minutes on a SINGLE side of any LP is nuts. Also, there's just too much rubbing the record's surface with a sponge—the less surface contact with any scrubbing tool, no matter how "soft," the better!

I think of all the YouTube™-torials, I like the "Atticus Martin" method best. Instead of using water, he trots out all kinds of solvents, which might damage the record (acetone really will melt styrene), kitchen spices, aluminum foil, CHEWING GUM, and even sanitary napkins, because they're sticky AND absorbent. Brilliant, Atticus Martin!! Spoiler: Using his "solvent mix," he hilariously melts a hole in his record!