I attended the final game of the Mariners' demoralizing three-game sweep at the hands of the Los Angeles Dodgers down at Dodgers Stadium. I went both for pleasure and to see what the average non-Mariners baseball fan thinks of this year’s Mariners team. It was a tough day to ask about the Mariners, as the game featured some Ibanez-esque defensive performances and Robinson Cano getting himself thrown out after someone else drew a walk. Plus, the parking situation was a complete mess. It was a top-to-bottom Mariners-fan nightmare.

Undeterred, I sought out what the average non-Mariners baseball fan thinks of the Mariners in the name of journalism. Did i succeed? No. I didn’t get the opinion of the average non-Mariners baseball fan.

Instead, I got the opinion of Alex Rodriguez.

A not-so-cool Alex Rodriguez at the premier of a Twilight film (seriously)
A not-so-cool Alex Rodriguez at the premiere of a Twilight film (seriously). s_bukley / Shutterstock.com

The Alex Rodriguez?

Mariners phenom, turned all-time baseballing great, turned buffoon, turned steroid-fueled pariah, turned potential redemption story Alex Rodriguez?

No.

An Alex Rodriguez?

You’re goddamn right.

An Alex Rodriguez who is way cooler than the one who plays for the Yankees.
Alex Rodriguez is way cooler than the one who plays for the Yankees. Spike Friedman

Twenty-five-year-old Alex Rodriguez from Los Angeles was nice enough to talk to me briefly about the Mariners. “I don’t know if I should say this, but they’ve been my second favorite team ever since my dad pointed out that they had a really good Alex Rodriguez playing for them,” the Angeleno Rodriguez told me while holding two beers like someone without the social ineptitude of his more famous namesake. He then showed me his driver's license so I could confirm his identity. Yup. Alex Rodriguez.

So what does an Alex Rodriguez think of the Mariners' chances this year? “Oh, they absolutely can contend. I think they’re really good this year.” Boom. You can keep your chins up, Mariners fans. Sure, we might have been handed a series of increasingly convoluted losses at the hands of the Los Angeles Dodgers. But Alex Rodriguez thinks we’re still a contender.