Look, I get it: Columbus Day is bullshit. Celebrating some genocidal maniac because of manifest destiny or whatever is totally untenable. Memorial Day and Veteran's Day? As a nation we're pretty on board with those, but they're not really appropriate avenues for indulging in our wildest pyrotechnic fantasies. No, for those we need Independence Day, which now warrants its very own special spot on our calendar. Check out our complete list of things to do for the Fourth of July.

Disturbed by the thought of a potential President Trump? Wash down some beers and commiserate at Darrell's Tavern's Rock and Roll Barbecue. Getting nostalgic for a pre-9/11 era of relative privacy and drone-free picnics? Go relive the simpler times of the '90s at Nectar's Red, White and Britney night.

Plus fireworks, and fireworks, and fireworks, and FIREWORKS. Everywhere. Got a Fourth event we missed? Send it to calendar@thestranger.com. Because we need to come together as a nation in these troubling times and do the one thing we've always done best: blow some shit up.