Depending on how you ask the question, Bernie Sanders is either cruising past Hillary to the presidency, or she's cruising past him. (Martin O'Malley, in case you were wondering, is polling at 0 percent. Ouch.)

Here's the good news for Hillary fans: national polling shows her 18 points ahead of Sanders, 41 percent to 23 percent. This is fairly consistent with support last month as well.

But! What about when you match the candidates against Republicans? Well, then Hillary doesn't do so well.

In Iowa and New Hampshire, which for absolutely no valid reason are the two states that establish the foundation of candidates' viability, Sanders beats Trump (52 to 42 in New Hampshire) and is only a few points behind Bush and Fiorina. Clinton, on the other hand, is seven points behind Trump, ten behind Bush, and fourteen behind Fiorina.

Of course, that enthusiasm for Fiorinia may wane as the "Live Free or Die" state discovers that Fiorina believes marijuana is harmful. (Sixty percent of residents favor legalization.)

Why is Bernie doing so well? The answer to that question is the same as any question that involves politics: money. He's been able to buy a ton of voters, thanks to some startlingly strong investors in his campaign. He managed to draw $25 million in funding over the last three months, which rivals Hillary's income. That's thanks in part to new money-raising tech from ActBlue, and also his robust social media presence. He has more followers than she does, though neither will ever compare to George Takei. When is he going to run for president?

Bernie also has more investors than Obama did at this time in 2007 — a little over 600,000, compared with just under 400,000 for Obama. Most of those are small-time cash handouts, rather than any kind of quid pro quo (you're not getting any access to him with your recurring $20 monthly donation) but it's a promising sign for Bernie that so many people are willing to shell out for him to run for office. Around 99 percent of the donations have been under $100.

Overall, Bernie has $40 million in the bank for his campaign, which works out to somewhere around $60 per investor so far. Or maybe $39 million from a few banks, and a bunch of pennies from everyone else. Or more likely somewhere in between those two scenarios.

Clinton, meanwhile, hasn't released data on the number of people funding her campaign, which is terribly mysterious of her.

Also in polling: more than half of Americans don't want any more debates, which is a shame because that's when the crazies are really fun to watch. Without the debates, we'd never have found out that Carly Fiorina is capable of receiving astrally-projected images of abortions than never actually happened!

So what does all this mean? Who's the better candidate to donate money to? Haha, trick question, it doesn't matter, you're not a billionaire. Give your money to the World Wildlife Fund, at least they'll send you address labels with cute animals.