Hello Dan. I heard your Lovecast this week and I heard you mention briefly the LDS church's bigoted new policy about children of same-sex couples.

I am gay and was raised Mormon. I was outed at 22 by the bishop of my church and when I got home that evening my bags were on the front porch. I had just graduated college. The bishop had advised my parents that it would be best, because I had three younger siblings, to get me out of the house for their safety. I can't even begin to describe how sick I felt. I was homeless for that summer and I couch surfed until graduate school began and I had a place to go. I finished grad school, starting experimenting with drugs and reckless behavior, contracted HIV and was separated from my family until I was 28.

At that time I wanted to reconnect so I reached out to them and they were growing and evolving. Things were rocky still, but we got through Prop 8 and I became close to my nieces and nephew, starting going to family Thanksgivings and even brought my husband to family events. (They called him my partner instead of husband but baby steps.) Things had really improved and I was happy to have them back in my life. Mormonism isn't just about the church on earth, we believe in celestial families. (Well, they believe in that. I do not... I am a proud Atheist now.)

When this new ordinance passed my family got sent back to 2004 when I was 22 and outed. My sisters are afraid to let me associate with their children, fearing they will be labeled apostates. My dad has pushed me away and my mom is hesitant to take a stand in my defense. I've been made a pariah again. And just in time for the holidays.

My reason for telling you this is because the LDS church isn't just punishing children of gays and lesbians. They are punishing relatives and this is making families reject their gay and lesbian relatives out of fear. It also reiterates the fear that gays are somehow a threat to children and it's tearing us a part. I spent 10 years trying to rebuild my family and once again it is disappearing. Yes, I have my "logical family." I have my amazing husband and great friends. They are my salvation. You say the best form of advocacy is being open and honest about who you are, and that the reason gays and lesbians have made so many strides is because we are out. I agree. But the LDS church is now directing their punishment not only at gay people, but also to the allies who support us. (Heck, not even support us. Just love us.) I know the church will shrink because of it. But I just wanted to let you know that just because Mormons are a small minority and generally pretty douchey doesn't mean that this proclamation by the church is something to scoff at. It is really hurting people.

I love your work and thank you for everything you have done. Since listening to your podcast I have become the more sex-positive and open. I can also say that your podcast has helped me learn to love myself more and more and become more comfortable in being gay and HIV-positive. My husband and I are really grateful to all of your work.