Of all the alarming things that inspectors of Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board might discover about a grow op, this one may top them all.

While inspecting the background of a grower in Sequim on November 20, 2014, inspectors discovered a complaint filed against the individual with the Clallam County Sheriff’s office. The owners of a rental property adjacent to the grow op allege that the grower had gotten all dressed up in his birthday suit and was “bending a metal fence post, squatting, and moving his body forward and backward,” in full view of a family of barbecuing vacationers. The sheriff’s report included a photo of said naked bearded man and noted that, according to the tenants, “the man appeared to be aware of the guests barbecuing on the deck.”

While the thought of an old, bearded hippie bringing an unwanted hot dog to a barbecue is certainly troubling, his email addressing the issue is infinitely more so. The smiley face really seals the deal:

“Hi, I am your new neighbor. You were talking to my son and his friend about a naked man being seen on our property. I am afraid I am the culprit. I enjoy getting back to nature. I know you rent the property and did not see any cars there or lights so I was thinking it was not rented that day and explored my property in the nude. I apologize, I will not do it again until we establish a privacy screen. Please send me a copy of the photo as I am curious what I looked like. :)”

WSLCB Gets a Tongue Lashing

Last week, Ruthann Kurose and Jane Rushford, two of the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board’s (WSLCB) three members, sat for public comments on the WSLCB’s proposed rules regarding the implementation of the state’s new medical marijuana system. How Russ Hauge, the third board member, got out of this one is a mystery to me. Kurose and Rushford did not look psyched to be there, and I don’t blame them—the meeting was a two-hour-long series of rants, criticisms, and accusations, punctuated by the occasional courteous dude in a suit with a wonky bone to pick.

The gripes were seemingly endless and came from all corners of the marijuana world. Medical advocates showed up to berate the board for things related to dosage, access, quality assurance, and so on ad infinitum. Retail shop owners criticized the board for being too lenient on medical businesses trying to get I-502 licenses. A dude from South Seattle accused the board and the cannabis industry for being racist. A lady with a tiny dog called the board “corrupt.” A bajillion UFCW workers took the board to task for failing to enshrine worker protections in their new rules. I was honestly surprised that someone didn’t blame the WSLCB for the weather.

Apparently, being a member on the board requires being the second, third, or fourth most-hated person in the state (after Tim Eyman, obviously!). I know it’s only a half-time gig, but you’d have to pay me a lot more than $50,000 a year to do what they do. Who knows? Maybe if we paid them for full-time we’d have less to bitch about.

Washington Is Home to Nation’s First Tribal Marijuana Business

Washington’s Squaxin Island Tribe made history recently when it opened the very first recreational marijuana store on Native American land. Elevation opened near Shelton, on the southwest side of Puget Sound, at 4:20 p.m. on November 12, reports NW News Network (NWNN). It sources its pot from various licensed recreational marijuana producers and processors, as the tribe does not yet grow its own.

Though the US Department of Justice indicated in December 2014 that the Cole Memorandum—which implicitly gave states the go ahead to legalize pot if they kept it out the hands of kiddies and cartels—would also apply in Indian Country, the Squaxin Island Tribe is the first tribe to successfully open a marijuana business. The Santee Sioux in South Dakota set up a grow, with plans to open a marijuana resort, but eventually burned their plants and gave up after protracted bickering with state authorities.

Here in Washington, we’re a little more pot-friendly, and the state’s main concern was not undercutting the pot businesses already operating here. According to NWNN, the tribe agreed to charge taxes equivalent to what recreational shops already charge. Check off another weed first for Washington.