It's theater awards season in Seattle, everybody! The Gypsy Rose Lee Awards were just announced, and it looks like a group of theater critics and bloggers think Lizard Boy did a good job this year. Good job, cast and crew of the Lizard Boy!
Back in October the Gregory Awards were announced, and then of course there were the Footlight Awards earlier this month, which happened. It seems as if everybody's got an award except for me. Sure, there's the Stranger Genius Awards later on this year, but that award gives artists $5,000 to spend on whatever they want. I don't have $5,000 to give my winners. All I have is this little blog post and a dream, a dream that maybe one day I, too, will be able to give away a handful of self-serving awards under the guise of fostering community.
But enough of that dream talk, let's get to the winners!
Ital indicates winner
Best Honor System Coffee Stand at which I Displayed the Least Amount of Honor
McCaw Hall
AA meeting at Mt. Zion
Seattle Repertory Theatre
Best Play I Saw Last Week
Disgraced
The Motherfucker with a Hat
A crow carrying a knife in its beak on the internet
Best Actor In a Play I Saw Last Week
Zakiya Young
Moises Castro
Anna Lamadrid
Best Actor Who Wasn't Moises Castro In a Play I Saw Last Week
Meg McLynn
J. Anthony Crane
Nisi Sturgis
Best Public Restroom Situation at a Theater*
12th Ave. Arts
Annex Theatre
ACT Theatre
No winner. All theater bathroom situations reduce people to cows.
Best Pre-Show Dinner
Half a donut that's been sitting out there all day
Bimbos
Vodka
Best Line Overheard at the Theater
"It's not a thing. He's trying to make it a thing, but it's still not a thing."
"Yeah, but did you see Come From Away?"
"Benghazi."
Best Thing I Touched
The tassel end of a tassel
Towel fresh from the dryer
These curtains
Best Plays I Wish I Had Seen But I Can't Be Everywhere at Once, GOD
The Sound of Music
Late-summer moths diving to their neon deaths
Dina Martina's Christmas Show
Best Theater Houses I Wish I Had Attended This Year
The Pocket Theater
The Ballard Underground
ArtsWest
Best Thing I Say To Myself Before Going to Bed
"She's never coming back."
"You could end it all now, but then everyone would know you were poor."
"Benghazi."