Iowa farmers erect a Marco Rubio in their fields to scare away crows.
This isn't a robot, this is alleged human being Marco Rubio. Andrew Cline / Shutterstock.com

Well, America's finally noticed that there's an election happening, which means that the race is gradually becoming more and more American. By which I mean, overflowing with crazy people.

Prior to the primary and caucus season, only true political nerds really cared about the race. But now things can get a lot more fun, with weirdos on the fringe deciding that Hey, maybe I ought to dress up as a robot and chase Marco Rubio. Or hold an acting class in the middle of a rally.

Earlier today, Marco Rubio, who seemed to have a robotic malfunction at the last debate (scroll down), was chased by two or three men dressed as cardboard-box robots.


Then the robots got into a fight with Rubio's far more lifelike replicants.

Politics is fun! Also BTW we just announced we're sending sending more troops to Afghanistan, but here's another video of a man in a cardboard box.

And of course, it's time for the country to once again become acquainted with my favorite presidential candidate, a man who goes by the name of Vermin Supreme and wears a boot on his head.

Vermin, or if you prefer, Mister Supreme, is running on a platform of ponies for everyone, and mandatory toothbrush laws. He's been running for offices since the 70s, and legally changed his name in the 90s. He is, of course, a performance artist.

You might remember the 2011 campaign event, the "Lesser Known Candidates Forum," during which he threw glitter on another candidate and made him gay.

Or perhaps your saw him chasing Kasich supporters with a giant toothbrush.


I certainly prefer these shenanigans to those of the well-funded candidates. Here's a guy who treats politics with all of the respect it deserves — none — and doesn't have a sinister bone in his body.

Compare that to unsettling villain Ted Cruz, who actually met Vermin yesterday in New Hampshire. Cruz gave Vermin a mild-mannered brush-off — regarding mandatory tooth-brushing, he said, "I happen to believe in individual liberty. I don’t think we need a nanny state."

Cruz later encountered another insane diversion — an exorcism at a restaurant. Two young guys bothered him briefly with a cross and some shouting about the devil. Later, it was revealed that they were students in an improv class from Emerson College. I went to Emerson, and when I found out their backstory I was like ohhhhh of course.

The video of the incident is a marvelous demonstration of a Ted Cruz facial quirk that a neurologist recently described as "unsettling." The muscles in Ted's face are apparently physically incapable of affecting a genuine smile, and you can definitely see his creep-grimace when he's confronted by improv students. Which, to be fair, is often the reaction that teenage improv elicits.

We'll see what his face does after the polls close tonight.