My new girlfriend blurted out the other week that she had a cuckold past with her ex-husband. She told me when I was recounting a party I had attended and noted that it appeared a threesome would occur with one guy and two girls. (It was just an observation.) She says her ex badgered her into arranging "dates" with strangers and that he picked the guys. Her ex would then watch her having sex with a guy in a hotel room. The ex only watched, he didn't take part.
I am really bothered by her past. She says she only did it because her ex pressured her into it and she wanted to save her marriage so she agreed. But I suspect she may have enjoyed it and think she may have been testing me in order to see if I wanted to be a cuck.
What should I do? I am really torn by my feelings towards her.
Confused In NOVA
You suspect she may have enjoyed fucking those other men?
I fucking hope she enjoyed fucking those guy—and you should too, CINOVA. Because even if cuckolding wasn't her fantasy, even if she was only doing it to save her marriage, even if she would rather have been strictly monogamous, anyone who cares about this woman (and you care about her, right?) should hope the experiences she had with those other men weren't negative, traumatizing, or completely joyless.
And, yes, people will sometimes broach the subject of their own sexual interests/fantasies in the passive voice or in a negative frame, CINOVA, because they're afraid of rejection and want an easy out. ("My ex was into this kinda extreme thing and I did it to because I felt I had to." "Oh, that's gross." "Yeah, I totally hated it.") But cuckolding is almost always the husband's fantasy, rarely does the wife initiate cuckold scenes/relationships, so odds are good your girlfriend is telling you the truth about the whole thing—all those other guys—being her ex-husband's idea.
As for whether she's testing you: That's a pretty easy test to fail, CINOVA. All you gotta do is open your mouth say, "Yeah, no. Cuckolding isn't something I would ever want to do. The thought of you with another man isn't a turn on for me. Not at all."
What should you do?
If you can't let this go, if you can't get over the sexual adventures your girlfriend had with her ex-husband, if you can't hope she had a good time regardless, if you can't take "Oh, honey! I'm not interested in cuckolding you!" for an answer—if you can't do all of that, CINOVA—then you should do your girlfriend a favor and break up with her. She just got out from under a shitty husband who pressured into "cheating." The last thing she needs right now is a shitty boyfriend who shames her for "cheating."