We're finally getting to the good stuff: South Carolina, a sort of political torture chamber designed to inflict maximum punishment on presidential candidates. For some reason, this is the state where tricks get dirty and campaigns get mean, with some really underhanded, cruel, unethical behavior.

"It’s a little different here,” said a local strategist, now working for Marco Rubio, back in 2007. “It’s kind of a knife fight."

I can't wait.

You may remember the appalling incident in 2000, when Bush supporters (these things are never "officially" sanctioned) hired fake phonebanks to pose as pollsters, asking voters, "Would you be more or less likely to vote for John McCain for president if you knew he had fathered an illegitimate black child?"

That masterpiece of evil is generally believed to have been masterminded by a guy named Warren Tompkins, whose reputation is apparently so gleaming he's now been hired by a Rubio super PAC. Rubio seems to be gathering quite a few rumor-mongerers around him: his chief digital strategist, Wesley Donohue, spent much of 2010 promoting rumors about the governor having an affair.

Donahue is also responsible for branding once-candidate Fred Thompson with an attack ad reading, "Once a pro-choice skirt chaser, now standard bearer of the religious right?"

Rumors being what they are, it's hard to substantiate any of who said what. But bless their hearts, a local paper is trying: the Post and Courier has created a "whisper campaign" site where users can report dirty tricks.

There's nothing too explosive yet — a sign reading "Donald Trump has paid for 12 abortions in his lifetime," phone calls from anonymous voices telling people to vote on the wrong day.

Come on, South Carolina dirtbags. Step it up.

For their part, all of the campaigns are bracing for the worst. There's a "mistress bomb" apparently waiting to go off, according to some insiders. This is an intriguing rumor, and I can't decide which candidate would be the most perfect to be on the receiving end of that attack. Donald Trump is too predictable, since nobody would be surprised if he had a mistress. But Ted Cruz? Everyone hates him, so it certainly would be a twist to learn that he had a secret love interest. Ben Carson? Maybe that's why he went back to Florida instead of campaigning in New Hampshire. Lindsay Graham? Maybe he IS the mistress.

And the Bush campaign is already complaining about "dirty tricks" by the Rubio campaign before they even happen.

Hillary's not above the fray either, deploying a former congressman Paul Hodes to accuse Bernie of not being Jewish enough. “Bernie is a secular Jew and I don’t think his religion influenced his stance on Israel,” said Hodes. “We know Hillary and we know she has an unshakeable bond with Israel, so this shouldn’t pose a great dilemma for Jewish voters.”

There's a Democratic debate tonight — yes, another one — and I'll be liveslogging starting at 6pm. So far, Bernie's people haven't done anything particularly mean, since the dirty tricks are generally reserved for the GOP side. But who knows; this is South Carolina, where the gloves come off and the rumor mill is cruel. Maybe it'll turn out that the "mistress bomb" was Hillary's the whole time.