Today is May Day! Celebrate the old-fashioned way by marching with immigrants' rights activists, the new-fashioned way by participating in a "citywide general strike" with Occupy Seattle, or the traditional Seattle way by chomping on energy bars while stuck in traffic jams downtown.

Last Man Standing: Seattle School Board reveals its superintendent pick, José Banda, after two of the three candidates withdraw from the race. Banda says his top priority will be building bridges—most likely trust bridges—from parents' homes to their childrens' schools.

Living American Gothic: Her life is like a painting, you guys!

A Genetic Test for Breast Cancer: No cure in sight, but a blood test that looks at how environmental factors (alcohol! hormones!) mutate women's genes could give patients a heads up about cancer risks decades in advance.

Ouch: "In a damning report after months of investigation into the hacking scandal at Rupert Murdoch’s newspapers here, a British parliamentary panel concluded on Tuesday that Mr. Murdoch was 'not a fit person' to run a huge international company."

Only Flesh Wounds: The Associated Press reports that the U.S. military is "under-reporting the number of times that Afghan soldiers and police open fire on American and other foreign troops."

The Clouds Will Save Us: Global warming deniers postulate that clouds are giant sky blankets that will protect us from overheating. And if that doesn't work, prayer.

Shunned by Lesbian Girl Scouts: An Indiana lawmaker has received only one campaign contribution to fund his re-election since accusing the Girl Scouts of being Tagalong-licking lesbians.

Meanwhile, in My Uterus: The Oklahoma Supreme Court has ruled that the state's fetal "personhood" measure, which would've outlawed all abortions by endowing embryos with the same rights as people, is clearly unconstitutional; A Texas judge smacks down Governor Rick Perry's stupid law that cut all Medicare funds from local Planned Parenthoods.

And finally, here's the song that woke me at 3:00 a.m. this morning. Enjoy!

(Etymology here, if you're interested.)