nice answer ajb.

I,too, am a "reaction junkie" and therefore love to give head to a responsive partner- a few groans, a moan here and there and the occassional "oh, Baby" are music to my ears... and on the flip side, going down with no gasps or applause is downright depressing... Guys, please be liberal with the praise when your partner pushes the right buttons and feel free to offer hints if s/he's not hitting the right notes- no two men I've known are "blown away" by the exact same technique and I always appreciate a little guidance, like a whispered "Slower" or "...oh, just the head, Baby"... keep in mind that sometimes sustained deep or hard sucking is seriously uncomfortable, but generally, we aim to please as much as possible.

Also, please be reasonably well groomed- a whiff of musk can be a beautiful thing, but don't expect much enthusiasm if you present us with a forest of pubic hair matted and reeking of yesterday's workout sweat and traces of urine.... and if you're uncut, please take care to wash up under your foreskin before offering me your pride and joy... an uncleansed foreskin is the only thing that's ever triggered my gag reflex.
Even if you can't detect any odor, trust me, it's not your nose or palate that's going to be getting the full effect of your hygiene standards.

i very rarely come from bjs - maybe 4 or 5 times in my life. but that being said they are amazing because 1)you don't have to do any work and 2)it's beautiful to watch your cock get worshipped by a sexy girl, and 3)when they do get you off, its an amazing orgasm. at least that's my experience. at any rate its another hole to explore...

Well, one rather obvious way that women can be made to feel that giving head is demeaning is just the name everone casually throws around: blowjob? of course some women (a LOT, in my experience) are going to be turned off by that. Giving head, going down, or, god forbid, fellatio could be used to eliminate some of the porn movie/comedy circuit vibe.

One little problem I've noticed is that some women think they're so sexy, they really don't realize when they're not. I don't care how you look if you're on me, I care how it feels. That's we're naked for, right? So just like a man has to stuff his ego, ask questions, and try and learn, it would behoove any girl that cares to do likewise. My current partner is STILL pretty bad at bj's, despite my gentle and cautious but also repetitive suggestions. She just sort of tunes it out. Well, I don't always mind her going for what is pleasing to her, but I really don't want her working on me if she doesn't care enough to do it well. Here are some general pointers that some might find helpful: try keeping both hands around the region while you're at it (one on the butt, one on the balls, or one at the base, etc.). Secondly, only concern yourself with the upper 1/3 of the shaft. Deep throating might look interesting on film but outside of being some parlor trick, it really doesn't do anything. And please don't obsess over the tip. Like your clit, it is very sensitive, and too much focus there can detract from the overall momentum. Light licks are worthless, firm licks will get you places. Also, keep in mind that whether or not you want to swallow (and both you and your partner should have that pretty well established), go for it like you REALLY want it. That makes a huge difference and is really the whole point to the excitement. Try and make me cum, and I'll try and not let it happen! Finally, please don't expect fake enthusiasm. If you're man isn't reacting, it's time for you to park your hot stuff and ask some questions. Hope that helps!

My opinion:

hand jobs are better than blowjobs
men give better head than women

Interesting additions. I personally don't want a man on anything of mine, but I totally agree--a handjob can be and usually is much more pleasurable. It's especially nice if your partner is in menses or a little sick but still wants to tide you over. That takes a very generous attitude, but if you earn it otherwise, you might just get that, and it's worth it. But definitely hard to top, I think, is the infinitely playful and overdosing sensuality of sixty-nining. That never gets old! But I typically don't want to finish during that (though that becomes very difficult), because it is such primo foreplay and especially good if your partner has a little death. Then it's game on, Ophelia!

fuck all that, I like my bj's fucking nasty and dirty, face fucking, hot slobbering ball dripping, hair pulling type of bj's....... and then I make her breakfast in bed....

i agree with 'sapa' i like my blowjobs dirty, spit slobbering, face fucking, 'oh crap did u just puke?!' kind of rough.

and my husband loves it too ;) we also do it the 'tie him up, slap him around, humiliate him and make him cum' kind of way too... it's fun for both of us.

Interesting. I never would have guessed that so many guys don't usually come from blowjobs; my bf nearly always does. Then again, he also knows I love sucking his cock. I've never found it submissive - anything that gets that much of a reaction out of him (I'm definitely a reaction junkie) makes me feel very powerful and sexy.

You must be one of those "non shaving", "liberated" women. Who else would equate a BJ with male domination. I guess you also think that all sex is rape? Liberal arts major at an all girl's college?

Has it ever occured to you the ENORMOUS trust factor involved in placing one's love stump in some one else's mouth? Talk about "domination."

In the words of the immortal Sgt. Hulka, "lighten up, Francis."

I love giving head, and seeing the glow on my boyfriend's face after I've taken his load is extremely satisfying.
The only problem I find is that he hates giving me head which is upsetting. When he does do it he does it so well that I have multiple orgasms...

Had a guy tell me that I was a submissive if I gave him a bj. I asked him if he really thought that since my teeth and jaws could clamp down fast enough to prove him different.

Looking at this from the point of view of guys who like to give head, I think it is safe to say that straight guys tend to take the traditional view noted in the article think a guy giving another guy head is about the most subservient thing a man could do. But the reality is that most gay and bi guys I know would rather give head than any other sexual act, and I don't believe that they feel particularly subservient doing it. To the contrary, absent some kind of coercion, I think the one really in control when a guy gives another guy head is the giver, not the recipient. While not all of us are reaction freaks like the man noted in the article, I think most of us actually find giving head empowering, strange as that may seem. On the other hand, I have only run across a couple of women who view it that way. It really is a state of mind thing.