Dear Ex-Boyfriend: When you broke up with me and cut off all communication, I was destroyed. I tried to do anything I could to feel close to you, which included hacking into your e-mail and social-media pages (with your passwords I sneakily obtained when we were together). I dried my tears poring over your messages, e-mails, and chat conversations, wishing I could still be involved in your life. A lot of time has gone by, and I have realized your shortcomings as a paramour. I have moved on and am now happily married. I still check up on your e-mail and social media from time to time, but now for a different reason: schadenfreude. It is clear that you are still the same person (read: unsuccessful try-hard) you were back then, and that comforts me in a way. Even though I was devastated when I lost you, I realize I have come a long way in the department of self-respect and am much, much better off where I am now. So keep up the entertaining e-mails, messages, and chat conversations. I'll be reading. recommended