You know how much I love my Facebook news feed. And not just because it allows me to keep up with all my friends without ever having to see them face-to-face, LOL. But seriously. It's where I get most of my news and pretty much all of my information about the world around me, for better or worse. So you can imagine how excited I was to see the ad for Nordstrom Rack's Men's Shoes Clearance Sale with prices starting at $7 accompanied by a picture of a pair of sweet green brogues. Well, I clicked on the link and all I can say is CAVEAT EMPTOR (sp?).

Where do I begin? First off, once I'd gotten on the site, I couldn't even find the shoes in the picture, so that was a big bowlful of fuck you right there. But then I thought, be cool. It's sort of like when you're on Tinder and see some super-hot lady, and then you swipe right only to find out the picture was taken when she was in high school and now she's 36 and married to a US Marine. (Long story.) But I'm a positive person, so I decided to keep looking. That was my like eighth mistake. As if my day wasn't already ruined, every pair of shoes I liked—like those Navy Suede Frank Wright Totton Chukka Boots, for just one example—was either sold out of my size (11W) or way more than $7. WAY MORE.

I finally found some totally rad Giraldi boots, only to discover that the different colors were DIFFERENT PRICES. The taupe ones were $16, but the navy ones were $29.97. What the fuck is going on here? Am I living in fucking North Korea? I honestly don't know if I've ever felt so betrayed.

I bought the taupe ones, but I filled out my credit-card information with a sense of regret and resignation that is honestly causing me pain to even share with you now. Never again, I vowed. Never again.

So thanks for nothing, Nordstrom Rack.