If this rant is an example of your 'brilliant' advice in play and not just a lecture delivered by an anxious, inebriated, homophobic man quivering at ten thousand feet, then it is you who should not kid yourself. After reading your column I can't believe that anyone would be so foolish to pay you to write for them.
I imagine you're a pompous, arrogant man who's probably playing the field, ending up taking home the most desperate of women (broken leftovers left behind by other careless men) with whom he takes full advantage of and then conveniently forgets to call the next morning.
I doubt you make a good lover as your 'advice' shows how selfish you are; a trait that doesn't belong in the bedroom.
In conclusion I think the old saying stands. Those who can't do, teach.

About sampling Bill O'Reilly screaming "I want to go to a gay bathhouse!", I think hundreds of people on the Internet are willing to do it if we could only find a video clip of your interview with him.

Dani, I hate to break it to you buddy, but Dan is mega-gay, married to his long term committed partner and gives great no-punches-pulled, right-to-the-heart-of-the-matter advice. If you are one of those aspiring advice guru wannabe's, you could do a lot worse than to read every word Dan has ever written.