Columns Mar 6, 2013 at 4:00 am

Lockup

Comments

1
...I could swear I've read this before? Swear.

(In case this post changes later, right now it's a single letter entitled "Lockup".)
2
@1- you are not alone. Sigh. A re-hashed SLLOTD, it seems.
3
Thanks again, Dan, for another sexually informative Savage Love entry in this week's column. I'm learning a lot of new things all the time.

Any chance violently and fanatically right-wing male anti-abortionists could start wearing CB-6000s soon, if at all? A lot of those guys really should be locked up--in more ways than one.
4
@3: p.s. I'm not being sarcastic here.
5
yeah. major deja vu going on here
7
I remember reading this SLLOTD, but I don't really have time to be reading this right now anyway. No biggie, Dan. I still love you! (And ditto @6.)
8
Yup, definitely recycled, AND with information missing from the original letter (Dan originally advised that the LW might be training himself to not have erections, and suggested he consider this when discussing long-term play with his GF).

C'mon, Dan. Only one letter, and a recycled one at that?
9
wow this is just as bad as that wack ass big titty "feature" article. what the hell stranger? one more bad episode and i'm gonna start reading the seattle weekly....
10
Jesus, people. Sometimes the SLLOTD winds up in the column. And this revision of my response to LOCKED was MORE WORK than busting out a quick three-or-four-letter column. I did two interviews for this column—because I heard from LOCKED after my initial response ran, and he was hoping I would talk to a doc. Which I did. I talked to a doc who talked to another doc.

It wasn't about lazily recycling a letter. It was expanding on a response—and, again, it was MORE WORK than a brand new column would've been. Sheesh.
11
@10: I found this week's column informative.
12
@10: And NO, I'm not kissing up!
It doesn't matter to me if this IS a recycled and expanded SLLOTD letter.
I'm with @6 & @7.
13
Never mind the complainers Dan, you are good to us. Thanks for many years of hard work. We love you.
14
But Dan... My life is soooo boring and I reeeally look forward to your weekly carnal and cranial stimulation. Pleeease don't toy with us.

NOT!! My life is anything BUT boring, and if one can't manage to keep themselves entertained, how can they ever expect to entertain anyone else??

You ROCK Dan!! And I love it when you bust the bitchers directly from within the comments column.

AND ARE YOU NOTICING FOLKS? HE READS THE COMMENTS!!
15
@Dan

I thought it was great that you revisited this letter and expanded on your original advice. Still, it made for a slightly disappointing article. But between the Lovecast, the article, and the blog, and all the other shit you're doing, I think it would be silly to complain that you didn't do more to entertain me today!
16
@13 & @14: Hear, hear!
17
Sorry, I didn't mean to be all complainy! Just got a bit of deja vu, and then wondered if maybe this was an accidental post (because usually when a SLLOTD is reposted in the column there's an additional new letter).

But obviously it wasn't an accident, and that's fine. There'll be more SLLOTDs for me to read soon enough anyways. ;)
18
I've always said that you're one of my 2 favorite homos--amongst the ones I've never met, that is.

(The other is Rachel Maddow, btw.)
19
Thanks for an enlightening column on chastity play, Dan. I'm really glad to hear that men aren't really constricting themselves, as the Victorians did to prevent masturbation in their children.
20
@3 - This makes a lot of sense also for teenage boys taking purity pledges. And teenage girls doing the same. If they can get past the child abuse laws (and in certain parts of the country, I feel like they could), I wonder why the churches and parents of kids in conservative communities aren't promoting the use of devices like this. The only reasons I can think of are: 1) a lack of commitment to that which they preach 2) hypocrisy 3) ignorance of the products existence. The first can be challenged, the last can be fixed, lets send these people some fliers! Also widowers should get them too, under their rules, right? Let's take this back to the Victorian era!
21
I've no objection to recycles, especially when the response is refreshed. I might wonder whether this particular letter was up to the standard of those letters that have deservedly received the royal treatment of comprising the entire column, but, given the extra work involved, that seems entirely reasonable, just for a different reason.
22
@10. I noticed the new interviews too. I thought it was great that you re-visited to get more info for the original poster.
23
@18 Tim Gunn is my favorite homo. Just saw him on the Biggest Loser this week. He is awesome, really seems to have a genuine heart and empathy for everyone. As a big bad hetero guy, I will admit his makeover of the remaining contestants brought a tear to my eye.
24
You are ABSOLUTELY BAT SHIT CRAZY to lock up your penis in a restrictive device. Your penis needs to be erect several times during the night, for a variety of reasons. If you constricted the erection in any way, you could risk ruptures or bruising from resticting the mechanism of tissue expansion. DON'T WEAR IT ALL NIGHT. Idiot. Mind you, I don't understand the whole kink anyways. My experience comes from restoring my foreskin, there are a variety of devices available, but again, should not be worn at night as they restrict the freedom of the penis to engorge.
25
Reply to me, Dan! I want that feel!
26
@25: That'll do, pig.
27
Tim Minchin is awesome, amazing and I am instantly addicted. As a breeder from Ohio I owe you one !
28
Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist, had a series of piercings down the underside of his dick and part way down the sack. When Rose wanted to keep him from playing with himself, particularly when he'd go to CF camp for a week or two, a padlock would be passed through the rings and snapped shut. No compression anywhere
29
with californication touching on the subject i think its all good
30
I don't get the locked up cock fetish at all. To me it's like forcing a flower to grow in a tiny test tube. Sad.
31
@ 26: best laugh I've had all day.

FWIW, I used to be one of the "recycled column" whiners. But ya know what? I'm just a wee bitty writer who can barely keep Twitter, FB & G+ straight. I can't imagine juggling all the things you do, AND a family.

As long as you remember the column came first..& those of us who've been reading you since the 90's..hell, once in awhile, we should roll with the ebb & flow.

Of course, my opinion is influenced by not remembering this column AND by finding the level of detail fascinating. Not my kink but an interestin' thing to contemplate.
32
Also, I laud the sentiments @24 & @24. <3 Tim Gunn, &, I don't have a penis but the getting hard at night thing suggests that wearing anything that suppresses that natural nocturnal blood flow would be a bad idea.
33
I met a nice fit guy, early fifties and we dated for months and I never saw this one coming. Actually I never saw him hard and finally he tells me all about his long term play and his wife locked him for months at a time and how trippy great it was when she finally handed over the key.
Not my thing and from what I could tell he had caused major nerve damage.
Maybe it was all a fantasy but he seemed quite lucid on the subject.
34
Dan does this at no charge! If you don't think you are getting your monies worth, you don't have to read it. Bitching about lack of new content is super bitchy.
35
Not all of us read the SLLOTDs. This week's column was new to me.

BTW, did anyone besides me read Dan's response in #26 with an Eric Cartman voice?
36
Interesting to read but honestly, this is one fetish I can't remotely access.
37
@31 Eva Hopkins re: @26: I loved Dan's response to @25, too.

@35 Robin8: I don't see (or hear?) any connection with Eric Cartman, but this week's column was news to me, too.
38
@26

Yay! I came so hard! Thank you, Dan!
39
This information was extremely helpful to me, as someone contemplating trying it. I'm glad you interviewed Metalbond, whose blog I follow. Too bad there is not much to be gleaned from the 'medical community!'
40
To LOCKED - I don't know about the effects of preventing erections, but preventing ejaculations might not be a good idea. When I was about 17, I wasn't having sex yet and didn't masturbate either. I started having problems urinating because my prostate was so swollen it clinched my urethra. Very uncomfortable and led to some incontinence issues. Once I started ejaculating more regularly, the problems went away.
41
Wow, another column devoted entirely to the 0.0000001 per cent of the population that's 'into' this. We're really scraping the bottom of the barrel. I'm afraid your days as a columnist with a fairly wide appeal are numbered, Dan.
43
@10 Thanks, Dan, for all your hard work. I'm glad you expanded upon the original answer and I found this very informative. It's hard to find good journalism these days that doesn't just rehash some tired old opinion we've heard a million times before (well, ok, cock chastity... probably a thousand times before). I'm glad you took the time and the legwork to find some good answers for this lovely young kinky couple, and I'm sure they'll have hours of fun and safe enjoyment because of it.
44
It takes a lot to shock me, but....

I can't believe these come with urethral inserts. I can't imagine the medical community would be a-ok with that. Also, I can't fathom what experience that would bring except intense burning pain.

Then again, I can't imagine why anyone would want to keep up with the Kardashians, so what do I know.
46
Glad you wrote about this Dan. This subject is part of a "sub plot" "discussed" on Californication, so if we are seeing it played up on TV there will be more people likely to try it.
48
Dan,

I saw your YouTube videos and laughed until I cried!!
Thanks for the continued sex Q&A sessions, and all you do
to end bullying, the atrocious GOP-fueled "war on women",
and domestic violence. I'm so glad to have met you in person
six years ago when you were promoting your earlier books.
My softcover copy of Savage Love is proudly dog-eared.

I will be looking for your book (due in May?) and Sticks and Stones.
Thanks so much!
49
@35: No, it's from Babe...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjQtzV9I…
51
The comments from the doctor and players might have been good for someone with a shower, but what about someone with a grower? Unerect I'm at just over two inches, assuming the weather is warm, fully erect I'm three times as thick and just over nine inches
52
I recently ended an 18 month stint in a CB3000, as much as 2 months at a time was 24/7. The only erectile problem was the discovery that the 60 day periods in which there were no full erections resulted in some loss of elasticity in the skin of the penis. When a full erection was allowed, the skin was stretched very tightly and was extremely sensitive and easily chafed from the friction of vaginal penetration.

The problem was solved by being released once a week for a T&D session during which full erection was permitted.

Also noted was a slightly increased frequency of urination, most likely caused by a combination of prostrate swelling due to infrequent orgasms, restriction of the urethra by the device, and sensitivity of the urethra due to constantly being horny and emitting pre-seminal fluid for prolonged periods (without an ejaculation following). My hypothesis is that the first two items contributed to reduced urine flow and premature discontinuance of the flow caused by low pressure before the bladder was completely emptied, while the 'tickle' of stimulation due to arousal and pre-seminal fluid expulsion caused an increased 'urge'. This problem disappeared nearly immediately after being released.

My wife and I have been involved in chastity play for about 10 years. The only serious medical issue occurred in the beginning of our experimentation with it- The device was secured with the smallest base ring supplied (the only one from which I could not escape without cutting or breaking the lock or the device). During the day there were no problems as long as I did not [attempt to] become erect, and/or concentrated on reducing the erection before it was too late. However, uncontrolled nocturnal erections resulted in awakening to severe pain, and caused considerable bruising and abrasions. After 3 days and nights, the pain had intensified to the point where it was intolerable and the additional effects of sleep deprivation completely eliminated any eroticism- it was a very effective form of torture, I would have done almost anything to be released. It took a week or so of healing for the bruising and abrasions to resolve.

For #51- I'm a 'grower', though not quite so well endowed as you. With a non-custom-metal device such as a CBxxxx you might expect to experience some discomfort due to the base ring sliding and pulling on the testicles when you [attempt to] become erect. I have no experience with a custom-made metal device such as those available from Steelworxx or Mature Metal, but some people who have report that this is greatly reduced. There are a number of such device owners on 'chastityforums dot com', which is a site that is primarily focussed on information exchange among real people and real experiences (unlike some other sites, which shall remain nameless, where most of the 'information' appears to be nearly all fantasy).

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