Film/TV Dec 24, 2009 at 4:00 am

Sherlock Holmes, Be My Wife

Comments

1
How much is 7-Eleven paying you?
2
Megan and sugar. Lindy and Tacquitos. Man, I'm hungry. Nom, nom, nom.
3
This is so funny.
4
The Stranger has always impressed me with their film writing, until now. Sorry, I usually like Ms. West, but this one seems stale, sort of like a David Letterman show these days. Oh well, they can't all be grand salamis.
5
PLUS, I live on Capitol Hill these last thirty years, and there ain't been no 7-11 for a long time, Ms. So how the hell would I know about their crappy Movie tie-in gala?
6
Um, there is one 7-11 on 15th and Denny, and one between Pine & Madison.
7
you're right, I stay in my tiny Broadway, Pike, Pine world....Thank you dear marigold.
8
It's a small world, after all.
9
This is what your movie reviews have come to: "Sherlock Holmes is a very nice time."

Thank you for telling me next to nothing about the movie but instead informing me that there are taquitos on sale somewhere.

Good job.
10
This review is a big bucket of ball sweat.
11
This review is hilarious.
12
I agree that the review is hilarious (Lindy's reviews are always hilarious) but I'd like a hilarious review in which the movie is reviewed.

plz? thnx!
k? bai!
13
Oh, sweet, sweet Lindy. I know I'll never be a match to the striking charm that is either Mr. Holmes or Mr. Downey or both combined into one glorious persona, but should ever you should find Mr. Holmes lacking or distant or unavailable, call me. I'll make it worth your while, and will even learn how to make taquitos just for you. I can do that.

Oh and speak to me more of these Jalapeño Cream Cheese 'n' Cocaine Taquitos. I must acquire some (for analysis, of course).
14
This review is golden. I know everything I need to know about Sherlock Holmes: The movie, the mexican-ish snack treat, the boyfriend. Plus it was very funny.

For the haters- honestly, what do you want from a review of this movie? An in-depth, Foucaultian analysis of Guy Richie's directing? A clinical look at Jude Law's performance, with references to his recent Hamlet debacle?

This movie is about solving mysteries, punching bad guys, magic shit, and heavily features Robert D.J.'s pretty face. And for some bizarre reason, marketing decided a good tie-in would be a snack featured on the hot-rollers of 7-11.

That's all you need to know about this movie.
15
Lindy, you're the greatest. But I have to tell you, I called dibs on Robert years ago. But we can share him! We can trade off week to week. Just let me know of you want odds or evens.
16
Lindy, you're the greatest. But I have to tell you, I called dibs on Robert years ago. But we can share him! We can trade off week to week. Just let me know of you want odds or evens.
17
COME ON PEOPLE GIVE IT A REST!

You know what you're going to see when you see this film: It's a Sherlock Holmes action pick with a little bit of CGI magic.

You don't need a detailed review by Ebert to know that Downey is good, the direction is shaky, and the story is going to be just a little bit above par.

And you're reading The Stranger for goodness sake! Don't want a little wit, sarcasm, and humor in your morning coffee? Read something else.

Plus, I want Mr. Downey for Holliday's and weekends.

Thank you,

Mrs. Downey Jr.
18
worst. review. ever.
i don't even think she saw the movie, let alone passed an english class.
19
Worst review ever, Ellis? I would certainly chalk that up to a lack of experience regarding bad movie reviews. You gotta get out more.
20
now i wanna see it again, this time with taquitos and coke.
21
Just saw the movie, and this review is bang on. Everything you need to know about it is right here. Plus, taquitos and coke. What could be better?
22
It would be a decent bad review if she actually talked about the film instead of taquitos and 7eleven.
23
Oh Ellis D. Trails, you are very funny. Would you also like for us kids to get off your dang lawn?
24
Excellent review and amusing comments. Saw the film last night and would be hard pressed to come up with additional specific details myself. Everything necessary is here, accessorized with that certain giddiness that comes from crushing on brilliant, delectable ex-addicts and their sexy vulnerable hotness. I'm totally down with it.

Plus it's hilarious. And madcap. I adore madcap.
25
So the only good thing about this movie is Robert Downey, Jr's hotness? I admit he's good-looking, but his character was a non-entity.

The movie was so boring, I thought of listening to my ipod while watching to kill time, but I decided it might disturb the other movie-goers, so I just left.
26
this must be the worst movie review ever. Lindy, how is it that you are still employed? I do not understand how any Stranger reader can stand to read a word of what she writes. please please stop!
27
it's the Stranger shit-wits, see #17 for full disclosure.
28
Finally saw this tasty bit of cinematic goodness, and I must say, dear Lindy, I was sorely disappointed in the dearth of fisticuffs promised me right here by your review, especially that here's-how-I'm-going-to-demolish-my-opponent analysis thing that is established at the beginning of the movie, yet dropped when Watson and Holmes face Dredger. It's a rule of superhero movies, once you establish the super-power, you stay with the shtick.

On the other hand, Holmes and Watson were (pugilism included) a refreshing step back to the original material despite that Robert Downey Junior looks nothing like Doyle's imaginings, but no one expected a blond James Bond to work either. I was wondering why Watson was thin and sharp, only to discover I've been given the cheap caricature version of Watson all this time, not unlike Holmes in his hunting cap and wilderness cloak.

The light seasoning of clockwork punk also gave the film that perfect bit of zest.

But OH MY GOD THOSE TWO ARE GAY, GAY, GAY! Sure, Watson's getting married and Holmes' heart obviously has been stolen by Irene Adler, but Watson holds the deed of ownership, and those two are like the strongest argument for gay marriage ever. Sex, or no (more likely no - it's Victorian England after all) they are so, so, so very attached to each other already.
29
what a load of bollocks
30
Brilliant! I've discovered The Stranger and your corner of it just tonight, and I thank you for the laughs. (P.S. Your boyfriend wants me. Bad.)

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