DAVIDinKENAI
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Mar 27 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Uninvited Touching from Strangers and Ghosts.
EmmaLiz: Agreed, she absolutely could have been drugged. Although it's gotta be easier drug someone who is a little tipsy than someone is completely sober and notices the odd movements around her glass, etc. But she could have been a teetotaler and had someone slyly spike her fruit juice. There is no risk-free travel, sex, or life in general. But when you're in the overlap of a multi-layer Venn diagram of:

a bit tipsy
in a foreign culture
using a foreign language
horny
lonely
without a wingman/woman,

some people are going to roll 4 or 5 of those dice at once, while I might only choose two or three at time. And to each their own. I only hope people make that risk-benefit calculation consciously, not that they choose the same path.
Mar 27 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Uninvited Touching from Strangers and Ghosts.
I got to "I can take my alcohol well" and already knew, "No, actually, you don't".

I read the whole letter thinking it was a guy and then Dan responds as if to a gal ("panties" instead of "underwear", "other female travelers"). And sure, Dan may have a name or email address or details we don't. Or maybe he made an wrong assumption.

So I got to observe a bit of sexism in myself because I found myself thinking, "Dude! Do not get shit-faced around strangers, in a strange town, with no friends around!" which is both (1) good safety advice and (2) victim blaming. And even as I'm thinking it, I'm wondering if I'd reprimand a woman as readily. I wouldn't reprimand a woman quite as readily, not that she isn't at risk (hell, she's at MORE risk: of pregnancy plus typically is smaller and less muscular), but I'd hesitate more to make that comment because victim-blaming is usually in the context of women victims.

Drunk dudes shouldn't be taken advantage of. Drunk gals shouldn't be taken advantage of. Nor drugged. And it's not his/her fault he/she was assaulted and robbed. Press charges. Get help to process those events.

But passing off events as supernatural? Thinking of themselves as "taking their alcohol well"? And "Instantly I felt like we were really good friends"? Knock that off. For your own safety.
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Mar 21 DAVIDinKENAI commented on More Traditional Republican Hypocrisy.
EmmaLiz @18:

From: http://www.chron.com/news/politics/artic…

"after police found him in a hotel room with a 17-year-old boy."

"The age of consent in Oklahoma is 16, but Oklahoma's prostitution statute applies to any person under 18 years old."

So the sex itself wasn't illegal. Just paying for it. And the marijuana.
Mar 21 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Why Is the Girl With the Blue Green Hair Walking Around Our Block 100 Times Today?.
Or an open-ended, "What do you do at the Pacific Science Center?"

When I live in the country, I walk around the countryside. When I live in the forest, like now, I walk in the forest. When I lived in Seattle and the SFBA, I walked around the city. I never walked around such a small area repeatedly, but that's a little easier when you're a woman versus a guy (and you have signs up!) - people are less likely to peg you as a stalker. Now I'm tempted, but maybe a dozen laps before moving on to the next block.
Mar 20 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: You Heard It Here First, Cousin.
>fred2 @32 "The problem with cousin marriage comes not, however, with the first generation, but repeated generations of intermarriage. . . ."

Yeah. Where I'm supposed to have 64 ancestors, I've only got 63. And it just gets worse from there on back. On that 200-person island so far off the Norwegian coast that they speak their own dialect, and there are clearly not enough different genes to go around. Striped pigment in the irises and various other quirks are very common. But maybe hard lives spent farming and fishing culled more hemophiliacs, etc, than in royal families?

Mar 20 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: You Heard It Here First, Cousin.
BDF @25, "Anyone else puzzled by what a "sexual but with no sex" relationship constitutes?"

I took that to mean she's flirtatious during the dry spells. While her libido may wane (more likely, her libido for HIM wanes), she likes the attention of her lap dog.

This is clearly not working for him - he wants more. (The straight-ish!, FWB!, non-exclusive!) LW is getting on a moral high horse about a little cousin-pegging because it lets him vent his jealousy and also his "frustration" (really hurt) about the long dry spells.
Mar 13 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Trump Killed His Wife's Libido.
Don't have any kids until you get the sex / not-much-sex thing sorted out.

If less than once-a-week sex is bugging you now, how are you going to feel when it diminishes even more? And then 22 years from now as you send the last child off to college and it's down to a single, reluctant hand job on your birthday each year, will you finally feel empowered to get a divorce and find a partner with a similar libido?

Because how ever much the idiot relatives may be stressing her out now, the lack of sleep, midnight feedings and the constant needs of young children are going to be MUCH more demanding.
Mar 7 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Should I Warn My Mom's New Girlfriend About My Mom?.
@7 "70 is not elderly"
Sometimes, no.
But it was for Reagan and Trump. Therefore for all of us.
Mar 1 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Italian Teen's Girlfriend Comes Out & Dumps Him. Now What?.
The rest of us who've had LDRs with 20-year-old Swedish women would feel lucky to be told she's a lesbian. Instead of, you know, a 43-year-old from Cincinnati living in his mother's basement.
Feb 27 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Longest SLLOTD Ever Posted.
Three crazy people who love to have drama are having drama (the other husband is possibly sane). So I DON'T want this woman to work on her shit. I want these people to stay wrapped around each other's axles for as long as possible and save everyone else in the dating world some craziness, stalking, and needless drama.

EX: congrats, you saved $140 on a therapy session.
Dan: don't make an exception on letter length again. And stalking is stalking, not "stalkerish" - if a guy pulled that crap, you'd call him out on it.