commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Stressed Out
"Because I am really not at my normal sexual self, but I haven't been in a long time."
Maybe you need to think in terms of a new normal. Or you'll be unfair to yourself and future partners.
Or, yeah, get a different job. Its effect on you clearly make you unhappy. It doesn't sound like the job brings you enough joy to compensate.
However. . . .is there ever anyone who says "sex is a problem because of my job", and the problem does away when they change jobs? Not IME. It's so much easier to say, "I'm not as sexual anymore because of my job." without continuing in that vein, "A job it doesn't occur to me - a smart professional - to change to something less stressful so I could be more sexual. Which I could, if I wanted to, but I don't, because _____________."
When you have the courage to fill in the blank (e.g. "I like the status"), you can fix the job problem (if there was one). Or be further along in accepting this new normal ("I'm just not that keen on sex anymore and I liked having an excuse.")
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Get Out There and Fight
@5 and @8: Memes don't have to be true, they just have to get traction.
Shoot / harass / assault gays - you must be a closet case.
I like that meme a lot if it would discourage anyone (gay / straight, out / closeted) from attacking a similar group in the future.
And we can build it on top of the increasing examples of hateful, conservative, anti-gay closet cases.
commented on Canadian Supreme Court: Coming In Sheep Is a Crime
It's legal to beat (for most any purpose: training, herding, defense), eat, force feed, force-ably masturbate, impregnate, or kill an animal (if done moderately "humanely"). So why is everyone (including me) skiwicked out about bestiality? I have to conclude it's about the sex, not the actual pain/harm that might come to the animal. As Dan has said: he's opposed to bestially because it lacks clear consent, but wouldn't an animal rather be screwed than stewed?
We are seeing a pattern of increased Internet porn and decreasing sexual assaults. If men are getting their rocks off online, apparently some are less motivated to risk sexually assaulting strangers. If so, has bestially long (and still) reduced the rate of rapes of women? I suspect so.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day:
Even taking Dan's advice, he has to go through that A/B test first. As Dan said, he's got to really mean that he's "not willing to wait around anymore".
And yeah, there's no long-term hope here. So really the choices and ultimatums are all about how he spends the next year or two.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day:
Sure, the letter writer could try to force the shared girlfriend to make a choice.
Or he could make his own choice:
A) Sex five times a week and confusing messages about the future and the other guy.
B) Stop seeing her. Look for another girlfriend. And go without the daily sex for a while. Maybe quite a while.
Confusing signals from a girlfriend with a second, high-maintenance boyfriend is a high price of admission (POA). But if he's willing to pay that POA, he can get back to enjoying what they have and stop fretting about what they don't have.
commented on Donald Trump Is Currently In a Flame War With Pope Francis
At least Trump is clearly in favor of some US immigration (if the immigrants are much younger female fashion models willing to become his third wife), while the Pope doesn't allow any women to stay overnight in his country much less immigrate and has an even stricter religious test - they must be a high-ranking Catholics, although historically the Vatican has been very generous in its immigration policies towards gays (if they're closeted) and pedophiles (regardless of their recidivism), while Trump only wants an unconstitutional ban on Muslims.
So comparing the two men's immigration policies, the Pope is far more sexist and more of a religious bigot while Trump is more racist.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: One Suggestion for First-Time, Bucket-List MMF Threesome
>"I really hate picking pubes out of my teeth"
I don't brush or combs my pubic hair like I do the hair on my head each morning. Therefore, hairs that are about to come out - 1 or 2 a day - don't get that final slight tug. Until things get vigorous in bed. So, pre-funtimes, I'll gently pull my fingers through and that will dislodge, without any pain, really without any sensation at all, other than the gentle tugging, 6-10 hairs. Hairs that I theorize would otherwise have dislodged during sex and ended up as floss or cause me to clear my throat.
That just always seem like good bed-ettique to me, but I have no idea if other non-luekemia patients practice it.