mother of two
report this user
Aug 1, 2015 mother of two commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Fully Weaponized Kink.
Holy shit!

No, of course you are not a cheater. You are a victim of horrible abuse. I hope you are comfortable telling your therapist all this. If not, find a better therapist.
Jul 14, 2015 mother of two commented on Savage Love.
Stink, in addition to sharing food, you may be sharing bacterial colonies with your partners. Our bacteria are a big part of our metabolism and probably account for a lot of our scent. And when you are sleeping with another person, your bacteria tend to converge.
Jul 5, 2015 mother of two commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Rainbow Correction.
Eh, I have some sympathy for the guy. I have a lovely tablecloth my grandmother embroidered as a child. It is covered with hundreds of little embroidered swastikas. I can't take it out with explaining to everyone present that my grandmother made it before teh swastika meant _that_.

Of course, it's more awkward to be taken for a nazi sympathizer than to be taken as a gay sympathizer. But I can see him feeling awkward about it.

Nothing to be done about either, of course.
May 30, 2015 mother of two commented on Savage Love.
Lavagirl, the woman us old enough that she might be menopausal. Or premenopausal. It's fairly common for a woman's sex drive to drop when she hits menopause. (Other woman have an increased interest, or other changes.) I took her post at face value, too.
Mar 3, 2015 mother of two commented on Savage Love.
I would have guessed the NH letter writer was upset that his wife was cheating on him instead of having sex with him. But what do I know.
Feb 28, 2015 mother of two commented on Leonard Nimoy.
Not only did he act a brilliant, iconic role that will live on for ages, he also seems to have been a really decent human being. May his memory be a blessing.
Dec 30, 2014 mother of two commented on SL Letters of the Day: Suggested Language.
uncreative: it's the difference between manners and morals. The Heathen Daughter isn't being immoral by drinking coffee or having sex with her partner, but she IS being rude by doing so in front of her mom. Sleeping in separate beds is a standard way to retain decorum.

Honestly, it's SO standard that I missed that there is a separate house rule against her having sex. It's a dumb rule, because I assume her mom has figured out that Heathen might possibly be doing that in her own home. But yes, if it would truly upset mom if they do it in mom's home, they should either refrain for a couple of days or rent a hotel room.
Dec 27, 2014 mother of two commented on SL Letters of the Day: Suggested Language.
Yeah, add me to the "why can't LW1 and her boyfriend stay with her mom in separate rooms?" contingent. If you want some nookie, just be discrete. Or rent your own damn hotel room, whereever you want. :shrug: Doesn't seem like a problem, either way.

If you were life partners who were barred by law from marrying, I can see the point of wanting your mom to let you be a couple in the home. But that's not the situation. And it's only for a visit.

And no coffee, no booze, no sexy movies in a Mormon household is just common courtesy. Really not an imposition at all. Go to the local diner or Starbucks or whatever for your caffeine fix. Or buy some nodoze and be discrete with it, if you have a really bad addiction.
Dec 27, 2014 mother of two commented on Savage Love.
JCIL: have you tried dating sites that match American men with Asian women? It would give you two benefits: (1) There are lots of Asian women who find American men attractive. (2) Asian women tend to be short, too. Yeah, it's not "going to the bar and picking up a one-night-stand", and the overhead is too steep for anything but a serious long-term relationship. But if you are ready for that, it might be an option.

LONE: Dan's advice sucks. MEET PEOPLE NOW. There is no easier time in life to meet people than in college. You are already taking courses with people, eating with people -- you should be meeting people, both romantically and otherwise. Good friends and a network are valuable for the rest of your life, your grades are only really worth something in getting your first job.
Dec 18, 2014 mother of two commented on Savage Love.
I've known a few couples where one is a vegetarian and the other isn't. In those cases, the vegetarian does NOT get to enjoy a meat-free home. What she does get is:

* no pressure to eat meat -- ever (well, not from her partner, anyway)
* partner cheerfully eats the vegetarian meals she cooks
* when partner cooks, some vegetarian option is provided
* sometimes, she also enjoys a set of dishes that never touch meat. If she doesn't have her own dishes, she enjoys a high level of cleanliness from her partner, who is careful not to cross-contaminate her food.

In exchange, she

* doesn't hassle her partner about eating meat
* allows her partner to serve meat to guests in her house
* ends up doing most of the cooking for the household

This set of rules has worked for decades for a few couples I know. I'm sure there are other arrangements that work, but I offer this as an option.