commented on SL Letter of the Day: Queens of the Retail Stage
I think Sissoucat hit on somethng interesting. It's easy to think of others as passing comment upon us, especially if we're not very secure.
I find it difficult to be around butch women, as I feel they're criticising my rather girly presentation. When I think about it, I concede it's rather unlikely someone would construct their entire dress sense, demeanour and haircut to attack someone else. But there it is. I can't seem to stop my gut reaction, all I can do is recognise it and try to stop it influencing my behaviour.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Help!
Just in case Dan's answer wasn't clear, LW, you can absolutely ask your parents to set up therapy/counselling for you without telling them what it's about. Not sure whether referral is through GP or insurer in Australia, but you can say to your parents that you'd like to do as much of the therapist-choosing as the rules allow.
But don't be put off by the thought of your parents worrying about you. They're more likely to be glad that you're wanting to look after yourself in this way. You could tell them you've been worried about worrying them, and I'm sure they'll reassure you.
commented on Savage Love
As a female urethra-haver, UTIs at any age can be simply horrible - very difficult to get rid of, and can long-term screw up the nerves down there, so you're frequently in pain long after they've been dealt with.
I don't consider the way I pee to be a reflection of my gender identity. As a thought experiment, I'm assuming that someone pursuing a FTM transition wouldn't particularly want to experience the more inconvienent features of the male prostate.
Do you think the LW maybe wants to pursue some kind of surgical procedure to strengthen his gender transition, and feels this is the only one available to him? In which case, perhaps it could be helpful to seek more counselling and thought about changes which would make him feel stronger in his identity, without large risks of horrible discomfort and inconvenience.
commented on Combatting Rape on College Campuses
@26 - 99% of women being sexually victimised by men at least chimes with experience. Do you know any women who have not been sexually harrassed or sexually assaulted by men? I don't.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Friendly Fire
@36 - This. But the LW also needs to speak up for what she wants. Does she want to be the boyfriend's primary emotional connection? Does she want the boyfriend to take symbolic action to show the ex (and her) that they are never, ever, getting back together? Does she want the boyfriend never to have any female friends ever?
Whatever she wants, no matter how reasonable or unreasonable, the LW needs to own it, and the boyfriend needs to tell her how far he's willing to go to meet her. Otherwise, how are they going to get over any disagreements in future?
commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Wedding Party
Good heavens. If the LW is real, how did she get to become a functioning adult? I get angry enough that I would very much have wanted to do the things described in this letter. But most of us learn enough about empathy and consequences to know that these things hurt others, and that people will reject us as a result. Never has a letter writer seemed more in need of psychiatric support.
commented on How Metal Is Your Period?
Would be nice to have them capture more of the horror with questions like, 'have you ever passed out in public because of your period? Have you ever sat on the toilet simultaneously vomiting, bleeding, having diarrhoea and fainting?'
Any more, ladies?