commented on Savage Love
Very simple. STUNG made one big mistake. Never, ever date someone unless you are ok with that information being sent to everyone you know. Fin.
commented on Ferguson Is the Point Where Budget Cuts, Car Dependency, and the US's Racial History Collided
I hate to say it but unless Ferguson can balance its police budget without all of those fines this will just happen again in a few years.
Systemic racism means that minorities are the ones that money can be gotten out of via fines and the like. The people with enough money tend to be both white and willing to kick up a huge fuss. Hence why minorities were targeted.
The only way to fix it is kick out racists and give the police enough money to do their jobs.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Booze and Barriers
This is good advice. I really feel for all parties involved. As someone who has been in a similar situation more than once it is a obviously painful situation for the woman and a thankless situation for the guy.
One thing I would add(and I admit this is somewhat cold) is that he has to be careful of her taking up so much of his time/attention/emotional support bandwidth that he is incapable of giving a romantic relationship the time/attention/emotional support it needs to thrive.
Also, he should prepare himself for the possibility that once she is "better" she will most likely have 0 interest in having a romantic relationship with him. Basically unless LAAP cuts ties right now he has to get really, really evolved really, really quickly.
commented on Savage Love
I think porn can serve a very useful function as a sort of release valve. I tend to use it when my girlfriend is on her period(she hates the idea of any type of sex on her period) or when she isn't up for sex for whatever reason.
In my experience using porn allows me to visualize someone that doesn't have a major downside. If I visualize my SO I will quickly become obsessed. If I don't visualize her it will be some other woman I interact with on a regular basis, something which is fraught with its own problems.
Really a quick visit to redtube seems to be the most rational way for me to keep from getting super irritable.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Basic Bastards
I agree totally.
Having to not only use brainspace to maintain the adequate level of quality of toping someone(are the ropes too tight or too loose, did I grab the right candle, is said candle too high or low, is this position causing too much/not enough discomfort, etc.,etc.) and also maintain the adequate level of socal awareness analysis(am I reinforcing gender sterotypes with this, am I objectifying her, am I abusing male privilege, etc.) gives me a headache just thinking about it.
Of course, you could respond that really good doms and feminists don't have to think about it. However, then you are changing the ask. You aren't just asking for a feminst who is also a dom. You are asking for the feminist and dom equivalent of Bruce Lee, that being someone who is not only a dom and a feminist but can be both without thinking the same way that Bruce Lee could do martial arts without thinking about forms, strikes, whatever.
If that is what you want you will definitely have to move as I can think of about 10 or 20 places in the world where someone like that would exist.