commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Her Girlfriend Won't Fuck Her
Untrue in at least one case. I do something sexual once per day and would absolutely love partnered sex that frequently as well but say that once a week is my minimum, mostly because in my experience if I set the limit any higher I get a reaction similar to what one would expect if the disclosed they were into varsity level kink.
Considering that I'm over 40, this is a never ending source of confusion for my current girlfriend.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Counterpoint to Last Week's Tweet Storm of Advice for Straight Men
There was an article in the NYT recently(called "The Rise of the ‘Bromosexual’ Friendship") where they talked about straight and gay men being friends.
The relevant part to this article(and it validates your point) is below.
"At the same time, striking contrasts exist in the two worlds. Gay men say it is common for their heterosexual male friends to be jealous of, or at least compelled by, the efficiency and seeming ubiquity of man-on-man hookups.
“Straight guys complain, ‘You can just meet a guy and go home and have sex,’” Mr. Toussaint said. “One hot straight guy I know complains, ‘With a girl, I have to take her out and put on all these airs, when all I want to do is sleep with her and move on.’”
In sex and dating, straight men also have to navigate complex power imbalances between the genders. Gay men can avoid that anxiety."
So, to be blunt, heterosexual dating pretty much sucks for everyone.
Also, I think that geography plays at least some role in this. If you are a mismatch where you live then you can be a saint of a guy and go home alone and/or only date damaged people most of the time. If you are a pagan in Mississippi, a conservative Republican in Portland, Oregon, or a guy in Alaska then you basically need to move if you want to get anywhere in the romantic field. Unless you are ridiculously overqualified in every category.
commented on This Week on the Blabbermouth Podcast: Dan Savage on the Debates, Rich Smith on Millennials, and More!
I'm listening to the podcast now and, in regards to Hillary and Trump.
Yes, fear is a feeling. You know what else is a feeling? Despair. We have been voting for people like Hillary for all of my life(I'm 40) and we, as a nation, are still having very serious problems.
Here are a few examples.
1. We are so divided as a country that we can't even agree on basic facts anymore. I argued with some Trump supporters in August about providing ice and cold water during a heat wave.
2. We still don't have anything that can replace the jobs that are being lost due to automation and globalization. Federal regulators have already endorsed automated cars and there is a lot of work in regards to automated truck driving. In 2014 there were 1,797,700 people working as truck drivers. Even if we cut down the amount of jobs lost to only 50% that's still almost 900000 jobs. There are other examples such as automation in law research, medicine, and pharmacy. We don't have jobs that can compare to the ones that were lost, jobs where people make 40k(for truck drivers), 133k(for lawyers), or 120k(for pharmacists).
3. Our conversation about race and gender is utterly and completely toxic to the point where we are having riots in the streets.
4. 2015 was the first time we had broad income increases in decades.
I could go on and on but you get the idea.
We have been voting for establishment candidates for a long, long time now and things have only gotten better in ways that, at the end of the day, really don't matter that much* when compared to the huge and systemic problems that we need to deal with.
At this point I am pretty much convinced that the we as a country are going to tear each other apart like wild dogs. Though I have volunteered for Hillary and will vote for her I understand that it doesn't matter and can't really argue with those who will vote for Trump.
*I speak as someone who has benefited from some of those changes. But really, if millions of people are under or unemployed or we end up with a civil war it won't matter that gay people can get married or people in a few states can use cannabis legally.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Asexuality-It's a Thing.
@24 and @25
If I could have one thing in my life it would be to be asexual instead of hypersexual(I'm 40 and my sex drive is on par with your average 16 year old male).
1. I could really get into my religious study and maybe even become a celibate monastic.
2. I would be able to be 100% respectful to women 100% of the time. No more zoning out and realizing I was checking someone out without realizing it(I am ashamed to say that that happens more often that I would like).
3. I would have a much healthier relationship history. Most of the bad relationships I was in were because I wanted sex and the options were awful partner Y or no sex.
4. To follow up on # 3, cheating would never be a problem and I wouldn't even contemplate poly.
5. I wouldn't have to worry about porn consumption or "the evils of masturbation" at all.
So, yeah. Very, very jealous of people who are asexual.
commented on This Feel-Good Cop Video Is Ill-Timed at Best, Exploitative at Worst
And this is why I think that we need to reduce the number of times police have contact with minorities overall. This can be done by making it illegal for police to act as revenue generators for where they live. If the locality needs money it can raise taxes or(and this is what I think is more likely) they should be rolled up into larger entities.
This won't cut the problem off at the root(the problem being reflexive systemic fear of black men) but it will serve quite nicely as an interim solution until we can train the reflexive systemic bias out of law enforcement.
And then we get to figure out how to train the bias out without overdoing it.
commented on The Morning News: Victims of Mukilteo Shooting Remembered, State Republicans Lacking Donations, and Muslim DNC Speaker Continues to Denounce Trump
One thing I noticed that is interesting in regards to Constance Wu's statement.
She said that POC should be forgiven for the occasional box office bomb, which I agree with.
However, I don't think this decision is about the actors being forgiven for a box office bomb. It's about the investors forgiving the accountants for loosing $100 million dollars(or more) of their money.
The people who work behind the scenes would be fired and, most likely, blackballed. The actors would get the respect. The people who actually took the real risk would end up with no job and no respect.
Which is why we see Matt Damon in an all Chinese movie and sixty thousand reboots of everything.
If you want to see more POC leads as well as more of any other type of original content..MAKE MOVIES CHEAPER TO PRODUCE.
commented on Kochs Urge Billionaires to Abandon Trump — and That's the Bad News
In my opinion, you come very close to saying why so many people are disengaged from politics.
I'd say the big mystery is if the folks that busted their ass for Bernie realize this and have the energy to fight another fight that even if they win they won't get any real results from.
The "won't get any real results from" is the important part.
Consider the story of the evangelical Christians. They played things exactly the way everyone says they should. They started small, built up over time, looked in the long term, etc. By the rules of politics they should be getting everything that they want. And yet, at the end of the day, after a huge fight and a long time...they still didn't get most of what they want. Gay marriage is legal and their gains on abortion restriction are finally being rolled back. They have most of the state governments and the House of Representatives and yet they still can't do most of the things they want.
On the one hand, that's great for those who oppose them(like me, for the record), but if you look at it from the point of view of someone who wants to change the system it is pretty chilling in regards to how much change is theoretically possible in the system no matter how skillfully you play it.