commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: After 15 Years, Her Husband Still Looks Like A Child & She's Not Into It
LW - If you're still reading, talk to your husband. Antidepressants can screw with libido. The pill, if you're on it, can screw with sexual attraction. And even if neither of those things are actually contributing factors in your case, you can lay it on them during your discussion so you won't make him feel like utter shit.
And then, if he's on board, spend a year trying to fix this. Switch methods of birth control (go on hormonal birth control if you're not on it, go off of hormonal birth control if you're on it). Switch antidepressants. Go to the gym and lift weights together. As has already been suggested, ask him to grow a beard. Try some light BDSM with him in the dominant role and you in a blindfold. Try swinging. Adjust the above list as needed, based on what you're into.
And get your butt onto a therapist's couch.
I don't know if any of this will help. But you say you want to stay with him, so put in some time exhausting your options before you give up. And if you can't get there, hopefully you'll both be able to be at peace with it when you part ways.
commented on Sl Letter of the Day: Safety Buddy App
Also, you can take a photo of his driver's license. Then you can text it to yourself and/or upload it to a cloud storage site your husband knows about. That way, your hookup will know that if he does chop you into little pieces, he'll have to explain the photo of his license to local law enforcement when they investigate your dismemberment. Hopefully, in addition to discouraging vivisection, that would also be a deterrent for a wide range of less time-consuming unsavory behavior.
commented on Police Reports Illustrated: Woman Feels Barred In
@ 11 - I dunno. There are some profoundly stupid people in law enforcement. Several years ago, my husband and I were driving home at night and a car sped around us in a no passing zone. A police officer stopped at a cross street saw it happen and pulled us over for passing illegally. My husband calmly explained that we had been passed and that that's why the officer got to our car first. The officer went back to his car and made us wait for about 30 minutes before returning to tell us that he was letting us off with a warning but we'd better make sure it didn't happen again.
commented on Savage Love
HIV status ought to be disclosed even if you think your viral load is undetectable. Because you could be wrong.
Sixteen percent of couples who were excluded from the recent PARTNER study were excluded "because the HIV-positive partner developed a viral load above 200 copies/ml" or, in other words, because their viral load did not remain
And on a personal note, I wouldn't trust someone who lied about being pos to be honest about their viral load.
commented on FBI: Trump "Associates" Communicated With Russian Operatives
I know I've seen this movie... What was it called again? The Micturition Candidate?
Seriously though, this is so completely fucked up. Because even if he is impeached, the Republican party has been rewarded for colluding with a foreign authoritarian government. I mean, what's our best case scenario here? President Pence?
commented on Trump Doesn't Give Two Shits About His Supporters (And Neither Should You)
@ raindrop - I asked because you said "an army of committed patriots needs to be going throughout Trumpland, knocking on doors, going to local cafes and creating dialog."
I wanted to know if you've ever had any success with that in a red state. And if you have, I want to know what you said that changed their minds. What do you say to someone who says, in all seriousness, that "Obama is the leader of ISIS" to make him stop believing that?
I've tried, and I've gotten nowhere.