The Max

Location: Columbia, SC

Bio/Manifesto

I am a graduate student at the University of South Carolina, studying children's literature. I aim to be the next Lemony Snickett, Philip Pullman, and L. Frank Baum all rolled into one. I believe in equal rights for all people, that the Second Amendment to the US Constitution means what it means, and that the healthiest economies contain a dynamic balance between free enterprise and state regulation. I love America, red meat, cats, and science fiction. I hate the car culture, broccoli, and loud dogs. I am straight, kinky, and single. I have a deep and personal spirituality, believe that Evolution by Natural Selection is a natural law--not just a theory, maintain membership in good standing in the (pro-Robinsonian) Episcopal Church, but rarely attend services more than twice a year. I have a tattoo on each bicep, a crane on the left and an apple on the right.

More Than You Need to Know

This or That

• Bring It On or Stomp the Yard
• Dan Savage or Charles Mudede
• No legs and a million dollars or A million legs and no dollars
• Vampire or Zombie
• Dicks or Vaginas
• Too many teeth or No teeth at all
• Jesus or Santa (sexually)?
• Pot or Coke
• SF or LA
• Zune or Segway
• I hate living in Seattle or I wish I lived in Seattle
• Will in Seattle or Fnarf
• Folklife or A kick in the face while drowning in fish guts
• Tushy or Tuchus
• Tom Skerritt or Dave Matthews

Questions

• What song do you want played at your funeral?: Amazing Grace played on a hundred Northumberland Pipes (which in action look like the musician is masturbating!)
• What song do you never want to hear again?: Ice Ice Baby
• What do you like to read when you poop?: Dark comic books--Alan Moore, Frank Miller, Neil Gaiman--that sort of shit.
• What keeps you up at night?: big ideas
• What helps you sleep?: good pot
• What song or movie makes you cry?: Casablanca
• Where's your hairiest square inch?: my chin
• If you could bring one dead person back to life, who would it be?: Kurt Vonnegut
• What book have you read the most?: Mother Night, by Kurt Vonnegut
• What movie can you recite verbatim?: Several: Casablanca, Mother Night, Star Wars IV: A New Hope, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn, The Princess Bride
• What piece of art would you steal?: Stonehenge. I like to think big!
• What's your biggest grammatical pet peeve?: data used as a singular
• What is your sweetest taboo?: true love

Fill in the Blank

• God is: a name we mortals have put on various concepts: infinity, eternity, fidelity, et al. that are difficult for us to fully understand even in an enlightened age.